follow up on bath schedule?

Question

okay this happened again yesterday and i tried talking to my parents but it still happens. i talked with my parents about why they treat me like my younger brother and sister and i try to have an adult talk. the told me i still need a babysitter and other stuff because i am prepubesent. i found out on here that means immature yesterday.

last night my parents had me on the bath schedule and my brother was on there too. my parents don't lock the door because they say it isn't safe. i had to go after my brother last night and as my brother was drying off and changing and brushing his teeth. my mom tells me to take off my clothes and get in the bath. i don't like it when my brother is still in there. also how do i get her to not check on me?

I have to go to school. i'll be back later.

just got home.

rumbler_12 i think you might be right. thank you for the info. is there anyway to speed up to look older. when i see my little brother in the bathroom he looks exactly like me except i am 4 inches taller then him and i am only 4'11 and about 80 lbs. i am like the 3rd smallest kid in our grade. i looked at the puberty stuff and i don't think any of that has happened to me yet. i think it is because of my size that my parents don't think i can be mature. our babysitter is 19 so she is a lot older then me. let me read other responses their is a long one.

Jen you have some really good ideas. i think i screwed up though on the shower thing. a couple months ago my parents said i could take a shower when i wanted to but i didn't take one for 2 weeks and that got them mad. i hate taking a shower or a bath and try not to take them. i got my mom to put the bath schedule in the bathroom now so no else needs to see it so that is good. i also told them i want to stay up later but they said no and they told me no about locking the door. i will try to take better care of my things i am also going to clean my room later.

Answer 1

Okay, this is long. It's because I'm trying to address everything that's going on, not just the bath time thing. But trust me, it's good stuff. You'll wanna read it. :)

I just read through your other questions. Obviously I have no idea what you look like, but whether you've started developing physically or not you're still 13 already. All that prebubescent refers to is where you are in terms of physical development. It has nothing to do with mental maturity or the mental development tasks that you are supposed to be doing right now. Modesty is a mental/emotional developmental task that you've already gone through. You have modesty. Now it's just up to your parents to see that. So lets tackle that one first.

I looked a lot younger than my age at 13, so I get how hard it is to convince your parents that you're getting older, when all they see is someone who doesn't look 13. Here's a link for your parents about bath time. Maybe if they hear it from an article they'll believe you when you say you need privacy. This article talks about the need for modesty developing at age 10.

http://www.familylife.com/articles/article_detail.asp?id=338&page=1&keywords=

Now, lets see if we can come up with a compromise your parents will agree to. What kind of lock is on the door? Is it the kind of lock that your parents would need a key to get in from the outside? Do they have the key? Can they just leave the key up on the door sill so if they need to get in there in an emergency they can? If that's moving too fast for your parents maybe this would work instead:

Maybe go for at least keeping the door closed (since it's perfectly safe because if you fall at this age you're big enough that they would hear a thud). And setting a rule that when you're in the bathroom no one else can come in. And if they want to check on you they can do that through the door by knocking and asking if you're okay. If you say yes then there's no need for them to come in. I would also recommend taking all showers from now on, unless your parents are making you take baths for a money-saving reason. Showers are more mature. (They also don't take as long!) If they notice you showering all the time instead of taking baths maybe their ideas about your maturity will change.

Basically, get the whole modesty thing into their heads before trying to ask for anything that they think is a safety hazard. It sounds like they think a lock is a safety hazard. And to be honest, as long as they stop barging in while you're in there you won't need to bother them about a lock. :)

I also read in another question of yours that they post the schedule in a public place. Talking to them about how that's embarassing would be a perfectly fine thing, as long as you have a solution for where they can put the schedule so that it's still easy to get to. Talking about how you know your siblings are younger so the schedule still needs to be up, but that you're getting to a point in your life where you need more privacy thatn that. That you don't need all your friends knowing which days you bathe because you're beyond that point. That's just something that kids keep private after elementary school.

Okay so that's the bathing thing. Trust me, I know how annoying it is. I couldn't lock the door either when I was your age. It was the stupidest thing.

Now onto the babysitter thing. Okay, so you home alone without parents or siblings, well that's a debatable thing whether it's okay or not. Some parents feel okay leaving their 13-year-old home for an hour or two. Others don't, especially when it's a boy. That one you're gonna have to play by ear. But if they insist that you have to have a babysitter when you're on your own maybe you could request that it be an older person so that you're not so close in age to the sitter?

Now, if all three of you are home, yes it is good to have a babysitter there. Because your siblings are just not gonna listen to you. You're still too young for them to see you as a grownup. Give them a few years. BUT, there is another solution.

When I was a little older than you I used to babysit for three kids. And one of them was only 2 years younger than me. He obviously didn't need a babysitter in the traditional sense. He just needed me there in case of emergencies. It was his younger siblings that needed my constant attention.

So the mom, the oldest kid, and I had an understanding. The oldest was pretty much okay to do whatever he usually did around the house. Go outside and play, hang out in his room, whatever. He could also help with the younger kids if he wanted to. He just needed to come to me in emergencies, or to check in with me if he was going outside or coming back in, so that I knew where he was. It really worked out great. He got to be independent without having to worry about his little bro and sis.

So maybe talking with your parents about adjusting the rules for you in terms of when a babysitter is there would work. This way they still feel everything is safe, and you don't feel like you're being followed around.

Whew! Okay almost done. Now, for a list of things you can do so that your parents see you as more mature. You could already be doing these things, I dunno. But I'll list them so that you know what parents seem to think are signs of maturity, okay?

Take care of your appearance. You know, actually comb your hair. Wash up if you've been playing around outside. That sort of thing. Kids run around without paying attention to how they look. Heck I still do that too! But just for the sake of looking more mature try not to do it for now. :)

Keep your room clean and organized. No, it doesn't have to look boring. But keep your stuff put away. Taking care of your belongings will make them think about how responsible you are.

Do your chores and your homework without having to be asked. Mature people take charge of their responsibilities. They don't wait until they're told.

Definitely keep communicating with your parents. Definitely keep treating your parents like human beings. You actually sound pretty mature if you're able to sit your parents down and have a talk with them about house rules. Most 13 year olds I know would just pout and stomp off. Keep up the communication. Let them know what's going on in your life. The more they think you are including them in your life, the less afraid they will be for your safety.

Also consider signing up for some after-school activities. It will give you a chance to be with people your age and to develop as a person. Now's the time to start seeing what else is out there that you like to do. If money is an issue don't worry, there's tons of free and low-cost activities if you just look for them.

Yup, this is a heck of a long answer. But I hope I gave you some ideas that will slowly change what's going on in your house. You're absolutely right that you should have more privacy and independence than you have right now. But they know you best so you need to work with them to find a level that works for both you and them.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Prepubescent does not literally mean that you are immature, but it does mean you are not an adult or even a young adult.

What it really means is that you have not started into puberty yet, where your body changes and "things" begin to grow and you get body hair etc. You may have started showing some signs but may be not too far along.

I am only guessing, but it sounds like your parents have sort of set those physical changes as a guage for maturity emotionally, too. Guess what? That's not a bad standard. When we begin to nature in our bodies, our minds do to and we begin to make better judgements about things.

That does not mean you are totally immature now and you are probably more mature now than a year ago, but setting a standard based on physical maturity to not have a babysitter is not bad. There is no foolproof system but that one is fairly common.

Without knowing your age, it is hard to tell if you should be checked on, but, again puberty may be the guage.

Finally, I understand everyone is different about modesty and it sounds like you are mosedt and don't want your brother seeing your body, but do not be too overly modest because in your life there will be many times that you won't have all the privacy you feel you need. However, you can tell them reasonably that you are modest and prefer some privacy when nude.

Hope this helps you!

Answer 3

It is hard for parents to let their children grow up. I am not sure of your age but prepubescent doesn't necessarily mean immature. It simply means you are still young and not a teenager yet. As far as the bath is concerned try and explain to your parents that you are getting older and that you would like a little privacy during your bath. Your parents are busy with 3 children and are likely trying to be efficient by having your brother in the bathroom with you. You might ask to to bathe first so you can brush your teeth while your brother is in the bath. Do not expect them to let you lock the door as they are just concerned for you in case of an emergency, like falling which happens to adults too. Most of all remember to remain calm during your conversation with them. If you want them to have an adult talk with you try and act like one. Not to say that you don't act like one. I am just saying that a kid that over reacts by yelling or crying instantly transports parents to a child adult talk mode.
Good luck and post how it turns out.

Answer 4

it incredibly is a coarse and inflexible schedule for a six 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous. He desires transitioning sessions and if he's having fairly some relaxing outdoors workout he might desire to be allowed to play a sprint longer and suspending the subsequent area until later. yet maximum heavily, he desires time to transition from one element to the subsequent. and additionally you will possibly be able to compliment a skill. each infant is distinctive, yet freshen up time is an occasion of transitioning from one element to a distinctive. additionally for a six 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous, perhaps you may commence with alternatives, "ok, coloring time is over, it's time to freshen up! Now, might you have chose to workout or examine a tale next?" The increments look as though a small volume of time for each element. perhaps shop on with "studying time", "play time" ,"coloring/examining time" etc fairly than inflexible expectancies. At that age, open play continues to be an incredible thank you to learn. whilst docs propose a schedule they are usually thinking, "awaken at such and such time, brush tooth/breakfast bathe time, play or studying time, naps being scheduled, lunch time, outdoors play or going to the park, etc. not such specifics. So, supply a looser schedule a attempt and adjust to your infant's desires. He might elect greater rigidness. appropriate now it sounds like he desires greater looseness. Our schedule is unfastened appropriate now, because of the newborn and her on call for feeding desires.

Answer 5

Do things that shows ur parents that u are not immature... Take on responsibilty!