Do they think their money makes them better than us?

Question

My husbands best friend of 16 years is having a baby. They were earning more than us,(she is now too pregnant to work), and have always/ still live well beyond their means. They eat out regularly, rent an aunts house which they haven't paid rent in 3 months, buy designer clothes for them & unborn, have spent $4000 on baby gear,(not including nursery gear)- despite being offered free stuff from a brother who had used his stuff on 1 baby & they just got a personal loan for $20,000- for a car, & a $2000 engagement ring. When we give them advice on how to save, get their own home, save money by buying good quality but less expensive baby items & clothes, buy 2nd hand goods- they brush it off. They say they want only "the best" and it makes me feel like they think we dont want the best for our child or they think their money makes them better than us. We are in a great situation- own home,car-no debt, and they are nearly $40,000 in debt. Should I ignore them & smile or say something?

They will tell us about their purchases and the cost of them. We are not nosey and never ask anything about money. We know they are in debt because he told my husband about it- and he was smiling about it???

Answer 1

There is so much you can do. It is up to them, if they are willing to listen and put themselves into reality. They will never know, never mind appreciate your advice till hard times kick in, and only then they will start to blame each other. You could talk to your friend from time to time in a very friendly, no pushing manner about the consequence that might occur later down in the road. To me it sounds as if they have not have a real eye opening moment in their lives. To live carelessly such as brings pre-maturity, ignorance into their lives. They follow what they think they should follow, do not know what real happinness, and maturity mean. Something that is the "best" now, does not mean that it will serve as the "best" in long terms.... Definetly stand by your friend try to bring his attention what living to the fullest really mean.;-)

Wish could help you more.., I find most people do not listen to start with, till they experience something bad .., and then only then.., they will start to think and cry for help..
good luck,
Buggy

Answer 2

They may think money makes them better ... that's called insecurity.

I would just ignore it ... you are providing the best ... you know that by "we are in a great situation ..." your children will be taught valuable lessons by the way you live. They may have things but those loans need to be taken care of and while they're in the money now ... see how fast they'll fall if a job loss occurs. Its always better to have a nest egg than a bunch of loans. Unfortunately in todays society we've been prospering so well we've forgotten the values of the "depression era folks" who learned what it meant to struggle.

Do what you do best and do let them get to you ...

Answer 3

When you are living stably, in your own house, with a paid off vehicle and children who have everything they need while they are going through bankruptcy and are barely able to feed and house their own children - then they will realize that "the best" and "the most expensive" are NOT always the same thing. Sometimes, "The Best" is whatever saves you money for tomorrow.

Answer 4

You are the wiser so just go on with your life and enjoy that fact. Being that deep in debt will inevitably catch up with them. It's quite haunting to them I'm sure, to not know where exactly they stand financially. If it's not then they are just being foolish. You've offered your 2 cents so now just agree to disagree and see what happens. Like you said, smile and ignore it.

Answer 5

It sounds like you have your financial future in mind and they don't so all you can do is offer them advice and they need to decide if they are going to take it or not. I think once they start to feel the effects of loosing an income and having another mouth to feed they will lower their standards a bit and accept your advice with open minds. We all need a reality check every now and then and I think they are about to get theirs. Just be patient with them for now.

Answer 6

If it's more than $100 on anything, even food I get very anxious. I don't like spending money.

Answer 7

Why do you care? If they want to spend money, that is their problem. Be glad you own your home and are good at saving money. I think you are thinking too much into what they do and how they live their life. It's not your problem. Just try to refrain from hanging out as much if they bother you that much.

Answer 8

Sweet heart in this world all youll find is people like them
but dont say anything you should just look at your own situation and be greatfull what you got and yeah i admit it does sound like there rubbing it in but dont bother talking to them about they will just act like they dont know what your talking about

look in this life i learned many things but one of them is karma or god call it whatever you want but people get what they deserve it's not just fate but sometimes things just have a way of balancing themselves out ok so dont worry pay no mind and just love your kids and family dont worry bout it let them have their expensive things and debt trust me it will catch up to them...

Answer 9

You should just ignore it and go on about your own business. You know deep down what you are all about and sooner or later, they will figure it out. It is always best to stay out of the whole "one up" game, you will never win.

Answer 10

Don't say anymore and no you feel safe and secure and they feel scared and restless. You would have more money if you didn't have to pay the mortgage for 3 months. You know this and they know it also. They are living on other people's money. You are living within your means with your money.