Is it normal to hate your mother?

Question

Ever since I was a young child, i never really like my mother. My older brother told me that when my mother yelled at me when i was younger, i use to take it on my teddy bears by punching them. But ever since then, we can never get along. She complains way to much, and she always act like I'm not good enough, even though I am the only one out of my siblings who went to professional school (law). Is there something wrong with me? when I graduated from college, I moved out the house because I can't stand her bickering, complaining and negatvitiy. When I first told her I wanted to go to law school, she said its a waste of time and that I should become a psychiatrist. She doesn't even respect my dreams! is this normal that I feel this way?

Answer 1

I wouldn't say i hate my mom or dad, but none of us get along. I get along more so with my mom than dad, but i feel its sorta your situation since your are a girl. My mom told me that the mom can't really discipline the son, but can the daughter. Same thing with boys, the dad can't smack his girl, but the boy can get a hit every once in a while. (i'm talking about taps on the hands or spanking for children...not punches).

My dad is a doc and he said i din'dt have to be one, then soon as i chose something else (chemical engineering), its been hell. Our only two conversations in the past 3 years have been..... When do you graduate and why don't you become a doctor.

Another factor for me is my parents are immigrants and muslim. I'm american born. I believe in the religion, don't really practice, but want nothing to do with the culture...which they can't seperate for a second. The one guy that posted with the muslim response is the online version of my dad basically. Always trying to do religion, where i just wanna live an average mid 20's life.

i tried talking to them about where i think our differences come from, but it doesn't really work.

my dreams, never respected.....but i think they have always been trying to look out for the best for me. I think your mom might be doing the same. Unless she is truely mentally sick, i dont' think its possible for a mother to hate their children.....if if they turn out to be mass murderes or something.

sorry, really hard to type out what i think. But i'm on your boat....i've thought of the physchiatrist thing cuz i used to imagine pretty brutal things, when i was in my teens. I started martial arts though and that really mellowed me out. Also basically have a stress free life and don't really worry as much as what the rents have to say.

Just always deal with anything on the spot and make sure nothing carries over when you go to bed.

Answer 2

I don't think deep down your hate your mother. You hate how she treated you and has been treating you. Perhaps you should approach your mother in a way that's not confrontational but in a way of trying to reach out to her. Let her know how you feel. Let her know that you have strong feelings that bother you due to you and her not getting along. If you're around her and she starts complaining and showing negativity either politely remove yourself from the situation or try and change the subject. Perhaps your mother had to give up some things in life for you and your siblings and she's having a hard time adjusting to the fact that you have the life she wanted. Instead of you and her both not being the bigger person one of you has to bite the bullet and approach the other. If she feels and you feel she can't be a mother try having a friendship with her. Let her know that even though things were rough for you during your childhood, in some ways it helped you focus on having a making a better life for yourself. Thank her for being hard on you because without that who knows how you or what you would've turned out to be. Take your negativity that you get from her and think of the positives. She was tough on you but you turned out to have a professional career. You have things in life that you want. Be the bigger person. If that doesn't work approach her in the way of saying we don't have a great relationship and you want to make it better. Ask her if she's get counseling with you. She didn't respect your dreams but you've achieved them so why continue to be concerned that she didn't respect them.

Answer 3

I am sure you love your mother and want her to accept you for whom you are. You just hate the way she handles things. Negativity sucks...point blank...I have decided to live without the negative people, or not to let them bother me. Going to Law School is not a waste of time...You should be damned proud of that. Not too many people have that capability. She is the one who obviously needs the psychiatrist, not you... I'd rather hit a teddy bear, than to take it out on any one else... It isn't natural for a mom not to support her daughters dream( unless the dream is unlawful ) like the Jerry Springer guests!!! Follow ur dreams, and don't let anyone take the color out of your rainbow.... Good Luck & Best Wishes

Answer 4

I think she's jealous of you: the opportunities you are getting from being a good student in school, and she, on the other hand, isn't. I know this sounds crude but it's the only possible explanation for her attitude towards you. I don't think she even knows what a psychiatrist or lawyer really does. She gets ideas from the tv soaps and stuff. Just follow your heart and ignore her.

Answer 5

I don't. I generally dislike my mother greatly. But to actually hate her is quite a way off. I don't think it's abnormal though, but I wouldn't say it occurs in normal circumstances either.

Answer 6

Its normal, you seem like you were traumatized by your mother when you were younger, you were probably one of those kids that can't handle the stress of yelling or loud noises. It's normal to have issues with her but you need to not let her get to you. Just find some common ground to get a long with her, Something you both can talk about without it leading to your life. Keep everything personal to you, not material things but your thoughts, your dreams, all of that keep them out of her reach and then she can not critizise you. Good luck

Answer 7

well there's a lot of mother who acts like that, some of them are good and there are bad.. but no matter what she is still your mother, just be thankful that without her your not a law student now.... some of mothers yelled their children because they want to show their children how to develop their indepence... thats how it counts.. but i understand how u feel and yes i can say that is normal but when you become a mother you will do the same and you will realize whats the good things brings to you from your mothers attitude..
HOPE I HELPED!
I am just a child too!

Answer 8

It isn't "normal". Sounds like you could use a bit of counseling to overcome some of these issues. You are an adult now and should be able to move past it. The best thing you can possibly do for yourself is to be successful and try your best not to repeat past mistakes in your future relationships.

Answer 9

It sounds like your Mom is not happy with her own life, so she is taking it out on you. That is very sad. There is nothing wrong with you. It's a shame she is that way. Just go about your life and full fill your dreams. Maybe she will come around, and if not you have your own life to live.

Answer 10

It is normal to get mad at your parents and even to have a strained relationship, but to HATE your mother? No, that's not normal. Obviously there are problems but you should try to reconcile your relationship with her... get things out in the open and see what she has to say. It won't be perfect but hating your mother is no way to live! She loves you and don't you love her, at least a little bit, way deep in your heart?