hi, i like a girl in my college whom i proposed a few days back.it was somthng like love at first site for me and i was very serious about it>i am still serious.serious according to me means marrying the same person with whom i have a relationship with which might sound strange for some>unfortunately the girl whom i proposed says that she is not interested to get into a serious relationship as such>i really want to do something and make her mine,but sometimes when she doesn't reply to my messages or avoids me, i get offended as to why i should go behind a person who doesn't like me>it really hurts>its o.k if nobody misses me,but i don't want anybody to hate me>i think i have my own self-esteem and i am no way inferior 2 her>but at the end of the day,i still love her and somehow want to make her mine without getting much hurt>i am seeking for a opportunity to make her understand, but she never gives me a chance to speak with her>can somebody plz help me without telling me to forget her.
2007-01-07 23:48:17 · 18 answers · asked by bryan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First off you should stop refering to it as making her yours for two reasons you shouldn't make her do anything and she is her own and will not be yours.
As far as convincing her to give you a chance, respect her and be very honest but not too over the top. You started by asking a girl you barely know for a serious relationship, this is a major turn off already as what is she supposed to think you know nothing about her?
She must think you have pretty shallow reasons for being interested, she needs to know you like her for her and not for some idea of her you have in your mind. How are you supposed to know you love her if you don't even know her?
In her mind you are a stranger.
Start off small and work on more, ask her to be your friend ask her to go on a single date with you. You probably scared her a little and you need to back it off again and aproach her without the desperate quality. You may get a better responce if you start small.
2007-01-07 23:51:10 · answer #1 · answered by Lillithin 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you went to heavy on her too fast and scared her off! Love process is a very natural thing and should be left to evolve at its own speed. There is no catalyst and even if you try using some undue influence, it is more often than not likely to backfire. Please give her some space and do not act like a wounded animal. The more you seek her the more you drive her away and she will not even be able to see your good qualities. You never know, perhaps by staying off, she will see your way and may end up falling in love. Too many a times we confuse love with friendship and push a love agenda into a friendship and all these may backfire. I suggest also that you be realistic, accept the situation as it is, and live your life. Painful - but believe me, this is a way of healing. Do not stay on the denial path and make it more difficult for both of you. Time has its own way of healing and you will even meet someone else, fall in love and wonder why you were chasing this other girl! Ask me from experience. So move on and as the saying goes, "there are other fish in the sea". You will soon catch one. By sticking your guns on her, you will not notice the opportunities that are presenting. All the best!
2007-01-07 23:57:51 · answer #2 · answered by Counsellor 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Imagine some other girl who you don't love forces you to love her back, when you have no feelings towards her. What I'm trying to say is you can't force someone else to fall in love with you. And you can't make someone yours people are not toys you can purchase. I feel terrible about the pain you are going through I'm sure it hurts a lot. What you need to do is find someone else. Or at least back of a little from this girl , you seem to be always around her if you keep doing that you will only annoy her more. Give her some space who know's once she stops getting all the attention you are giving her now, she might actually consider giving it thought. Good Luck
2007-01-08 00:04:03 · answer #3 · answered by julia1975 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately, she's not interested. i'm not going to tell you to forget about her. all relationships stain a person one way or another. this is how we grow into better/stronger/wiser people. think of it as a "blessing." it might be a sign that says "she's not the one." you love her, fine, but you'll find another. it will be a long road however, it will be worth every pain and anger you've felt.
i'm not phsychic. i can't promise you'll fall in love again. it's a possibility. life's like that. it'll hurt, it'll make you laugh.
before you do anything rash, talk to her, face-to-face. confront her as you would your fears: head first. knowing is better than presuming. many possibilities can arise if you take the plunge. wish you well.
2007-01-07 23:58:38 · answer #4 · answered by impasse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love comes and go, today you love her maybe next month you loose interest in her. It looks like to me that you're still quite young so I don't see any rush for you to get committed to a relationship so soon especially falling for a girl who ignores you. Move on and get committed into a real relationship with a girl who feels the same way as you feel for her. Only that's worth.
2007-01-07 23:55:39 · answer #5 · answered by FairGround 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well but what can you do if she doesn't want you as a partner? or from what i get, maybe she is just afraid to jump into a serious relationship. maybe she freaked out when you proposed. i myself would feel chased if someone would propose like that. try to approach her differently. surprise her with something you know she likes. offer her a relationship with no strings attached.
and along the way try to figure out if it is really love that you feel for her or is it that you are too proud, and the fact that she said no just hurts your ego.
2007-01-08 00:00:04 · answer #6 · answered by lifeseeker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you are being too aggressive. In your head she's already your wife/ girlfriend. This can scare her, clear your expectations and try to become friends first. think about how you make new friends (male or female) and act like this in when you talk to her.
go slow.......
and if this doesn't work, if she is absolutely avoiding you, stay away from her for some time (i know this is hard) and if you still feel the same in two or three weeks, ask her why she is avoiding you (ask nicely and try to understand her answer)
2007-01-07 23:57:29 · answer #7 · answered by rooie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She might be avoiding you + not letting you speak because she is nervous and afraid: You proposed to her without knowing each other very well? That would make any girl feel uneasy and possibly stalked.
Don't seem too desperate to talk to her or see her, that would just make the situation worse. I guess you could get one of your friends to explain what you're feeling, and/or talk to one of her friends.
2007-01-07 23:53:19 · answer #8 · answered by Yalena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her do the talking if she isn't wanting a serious relationship is pretty much saying she isn't ready just yet and so i think you should let things go for a while till she comes around and says she's ready.
Do not push things as it will makes things worse for you
2007-01-07 23:52:30 · answer #9 · answered by Jimmy G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lillithin, Counsello and Julia1975 are the answers that you should consider. They are all correct. Go back and read their answers again. If you cannot decide which is best just give me the ten points for doing this legwork.
Bueno Suerte!
2007-01-08 00:38:38 · answer #10 · answered by TryingToLearn 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋