I am keeping a secret from my partner. I have been with him for 5 years but we do not live together. Wea re both 28. The thing is, I am forced to lie because I have a friendship with a man and this is not "allowed". My partner does not believe in platonic relationships and in the past made me choose between being friends with this man or him leaving me. I told him I would stay with him. I also carried on going to see my friend who needs me as he is going to go on chemotherapy and is sick. If mypartner finds out I will be in trouble. I want to tell the truth and am tired of lying. Advice please?
2007-01-07 22:50:59 · 15 answers · asked by Abigail 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am not engaged or married
This man is not after sex at all, he is too ill.
I do not plan to ever cheat.
I was honest at first but my partner used to call him names and encourage me to .
2007-01-07 22:52:43 · update #1
Tell him that you met an old classmate who is going through a very rough stage & needs your support . Try to include couple of your girlfriends in this group to make it look legitimate .
Just out of curiousity are you dependent on your partner in someway that you have to take this kind of attitute from him ??
2007-01-07 22:55:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your partner has no compassion toward a sick and possibly dying man, what does that say about him? Is this really the kind of man you want to spend your life with? He's that insecure and jealous he begrudges a man that is so sick a friend? Tell your partner the truth and if he doesn't understand then move on. You could try asking him to visit with you but, only if he will show some sympathy and be nice. I just wonder how he would feel if he were the sick one needing support of friends, or if it were you would he deny you the support you would need? Good luck
2007-01-08 07:09:45 · answer #2 · answered by mjm52 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You won't like the advice, but here it is anyway.
Yes, you are lying to your partner, however....Any guy who dictates your friendships is a control freak and doesn't deserve you. Dump him ASAP!! You are trying to be a kind and supportive friend to someone who is need. In other words, to be a good person...a decent human being, you feel forced to lie and conceal your activities because of your partner?? Take a good look, a VERY good look at how wrong that is.
This dude is going to cause you no end of misery, so terminate the relationship NOW and get on with leading a life that allows you to be who you are.
2007-01-08 07:05:45 · answer #3 · answered by castle h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You like being controlled? Well, that is above and beyond being possessive. You have a friend who is very ill and needs you. Your "boyfriend" will not allow this? I think that it is time you gave your boyfriend an ultimatum. Grow up and accept your friends, or move on. Do you really want to continue on like this? I would hope not. What if you get married to this idiot? How far will the possession go then? Abuse? Possibly. Stand up to him. Be strong and be positive. This is YOUR life and nobody can control what you do. Be there for your friend or you will regret it.
2007-01-08 07:00:54 · answer #4 · answered by looloo1122 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is sad your partner is so self-centred and egoistic. Do you think you will be happy in the long term in a relationship where you can't choose friends or have to sneak around? A secure and happy relationship is not like that. Tell him and is he can't see past his insecurities, he has to deal with it.
2007-01-08 06:55:51 · answer #5 · answered by eazz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your partner sound like hes over possessive and does not trust you, hes trying to control you because he is insecur,e this is just a glimpse of your future with him if you continue on the relationship, do you really want to live the rest of you life being told what to do and made to feel like your doing something wrong when your NOT!!!!
2007-01-08 06:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is very difficult to live in a world of lies, if i am in your shoes, i will tell my partner the truth....and reassuring him that having friendship with another guy does not mean that i dont love him. im sure he will understand the situation, and if you plan to see your friend, you can invite your partner to even accompany you so that he can do friendship with him also, in this way, trust can slowly be established
2007-01-08 06:57:17 · answer #7 · answered by sheikaella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your BF treating you like a child? Tell him the truth, and if he still disapproves of your friend, then dump the controlling BF.
2007-01-08 06:59:02 · answer #8 · answered by kerbear7703 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me you either need to confess up or get with the guy that is going on chemo sense it seems you like him alot. Good luck
2007-01-08 06:53:20 · answer #9 · answered by blazin_cripz_2006_0wner.sheena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are allowed to have friends and if your partner can't except that throw him to the wind
2007-01-08 06:53:27 · answer #10 · answered by purpleliz15283 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋