My racist mother?

Question

the other day i overheared my mother saying some vile and racists things about another race. She was speaking to her boyfriend about people of another race, and then all of a sudden she launched into her racist tirade.

I have never heared my mother speak like that or use that kind of language before. It made me sick. I never knew that she had these kind of feelings bottled up inside. I would expect that kind of thing from her knucklehead boyfriend, but not my mum. She has always seemed so pure and innocent to me.

I have not told her that I overheread her, and I have hardly spoken to her since because of it.

How should I approach this?

Answer 1

your mother is entitled to her opinions just as you are entitled to yours

Answer 2

First off, she's your mum. That will never change and should be more important than her racist feelings. Almost, everyone has some degree of racist feelings bottled up inside. God, I wish we could put our petty differences aside. But, the reality is we can't.

Alot of times these feelings are developed by life experiences. People see, hear or experience something bad. They then associate it with the persons ethnic back ground or economic situation.

Normally, people are smart enough to sort out the feelings into truths and untruths. Racism is ignorance based on skin color or ethnic background. People should be judged on thier own merit. Not, on some preconceived ideas based on ethnicity.

Getting back to your question. How should you deal with it? Your mom sounds like she was trying to impress her boyfriend. He may be a bad influence on her.

Just remember she is your mother. Treat her with love and respect as always. If it is bothering you, talk to her about it. If she tries and talk this way with you, let her know that you don't share the same beliefs. If the two of you can't talk about it in an adult educated manner, then change the topic. You really can't do anything about the boyfriend.

Just remember, just as you have the right to your beliefs. She has the right to hers. That's why here in America the Nazi's and the Skinheads continue to show thier ugly heads. I used them as an example, because, I can't think of a more extreme bunch of racists. But, in a free society they have a right to speak. I just hope the majority of people that hear them recognize thier message as CRAP.

Answer 3

I think you should have a talk with her and find out why she feels this way. Racism is sadly once again on the increase and there are many reasons for it - I am of mixed race and got racial abuse from many different sources, yet I too sometimes rant and rave about aspects the way of life has changed in the world and how easy it is for so many to get into the UK, but so hard for those of us who LIVE in the UK to be able to move somewhere else, unless you have a lot of money. I also believe that racism is nurtured by the media to increase and maintain a culture of FEAR. Perhaps it is time for us all to learn tolerance and increase our understanding of other races, religions and lifestyles by interacting more with other human beings of the world!

Answer 4

Well have you considered that even adults do and say things to impress the one they are with? (Boyfriend/girlfriend wise)

If you have never heard your Mother speak this way til he came around then consider it as a front for his gratification. I am not saying that is right but it does happen even in the adult world.

I would talk to her and tell her that you overheard her and ask her if that is the way she truly feel (away from him) and I think you will be surprised at how she will tell you she was venting or something to that effect.

Racism is the results of a closed mind.....all races have something to offer one another....like humanity for mankind.

I am one who lives on the statement of love everyone and hate no-one......hate is evil and accomplishes absolutely nothing!

Answer 5

That's a tough one. My mother does show her prejudices once in a while too - she's not racists per se, but she does have strong feelings against certain races. Most times I'll just repeat what she said in disbelief, or kinda give her a "c'mon, really?" kind of response. I don't go at her head on because she's mom, but I think if it ever comes up again while you're present, just tell her that you're uncomfortable about it. If she's talking about it and you're overhearing her, leave the room or tell her it's bothering you.

Answer 6

i have by no ability understood why human beings use the be conscious racist as if its this wide sweeping definition of someone, like saying they're a banker. Prejudice is a complicated concern. i might want to assert maximum folk have some minor degree of prejudice in a unmarried way or yet another. The more effective victimized the more effective the degree and the rhetoric. basically because someone believes some thing prejudicial i don't believe of meaning terrible human being. i imagine it ability incorrect human being who extremely doesn't get it yet, needs to be shown the bigger image. particularly than giving human beings the blanket description of "racist", human beings could imagine of it as "has pretend prejudicial ideals". honestly in a good number of cases. Now i'm no longer speaking about the human beings who pick all of us of yet another race hung. i'm speaking about the black guy who falsely believes white individuals are continuously attempting to keep him down. Or the white guy who blames all black human beings for the crime in his community. those topics are complicated and there are various of comprehensible causes human beings come to carry prejudices. They shouldn't basically be referred to as racists and condemned as a human being, till they have carried out some thing extremely egregious. There i have spoken my piece.

Answer 7

my dad is worse than that he sits there in front of me cursing all othr races and im with an asian i tell him to stop which he does.i know it is wrong but i cant get him to change his opinion but im the better person by not being a racsist pig.or maybe her boyfriend is rasist and does it to keep him happy just ignore her u the bigger person sorry ur mom is so wrong

Answer 8

I wouldn't qualify ur mom as racist. Some race even gets me pissed* off. For Example, latinos like to talk with there hands, arms, shoulders & heads & they talk loud too. I make remarks about it, so most my friends, but that does not make us racist.

Answer 9

It is easy for some people to judge people for being racist. But if you came from a country where all [ most of them] are committed by a certain race, if you see what they have done and when it has been done to your family then you will understand why some people are racist. It is easy for people to say , ohhh you are being rascist until they have experienced the hatred and rage of people they have never harmed.

Answer 10

You will not be able to change her feeling about it. This is her own personal view. Some people are brought up like that and there is nothing you can say to change it.

Answer 11

try talking to your mother and see how she react first. if she seems calm and friendly, ask her about it with gentle approach.if she seems aggitated, it will be better if you don't ask first, it might be that she had some incident with that particular race that she has become a bit racist.