I was browsing my boyfriends laptop yesterday when I saw his msn history report (a folder that keeps all records of his msn messages)
In it I found that he was still chatting to his ex whom he for me , he was asking her to come over to live him him from france, he still tells her he loves her and that he misses her and cant wait to see her again. AS U CAN IMAGINE IT WAS VERY HARD FOR me having to read all that, I mean I understand that he misses her mayb he wants to be with her afterall, I can only move on after that, But I dont even know how to tell him I know about it, I just find it do hard now to even kiss him or do anything with him cause I know what he has been up to, I asked him last night if he still talks to her he denied all this. what should I do (apart from leaving him of coz cause thats what ill be doing) but how do i let him know.
2007-01-07 22:38:06 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I wasnt excatly reading his emails, I was browsing received files cause I was looking for the pictures I had sent him. SO technically it wasnt even his messages. another thing why its hard for me to tell him is because He has been out of work for 2 months he is starting his new job today so u can imagine he has been stressed out, so the last thin I want to do is put more pile to his worries.
2007-01-07 23:20:54 · update #1
and your still with him?
tell him, print it off and confront him with it
then
dump him let him live his life with his internet romances. thats usually all they are, people find them exciting..... till they get caught !!
but do it once and he will do it again
move on, it is his loss
good luck
2007-01-07 22:42:02 · answer #1 · answered by ♥gigi♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to be honest with him. He has denied everything--he lied. You owe him nothing at this point. So what if you were on his lap top? In a relationship there shouldn't be anything there that he should have been hiding anyway. If he was being open and up front with you then it wouldn't even be a question you are asking. Just tell him straight up--and end it right away because the longer you stay in this relationship--the more uncomfortable you are and you deserve better than that!!!! Just tell him--you have nothing to lose at this point!
2007-01-08 06:44:05 · answer #2 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest just dumping him and telling him nothing. His behaviour doesn't justify an explanation (and as others have pointed out, you've not been completely innocent here either - reading his personal messages was an invasion of privacy, even if it gave you information you needed to know).
Also, if you tell him how he was caught out, it will just encourage him to be more careful about deleting the logs if he does it again. Why help him cheat on someone else?
2007-01-08 07:08:59 · answer #3 · answered by The Truth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't left him yet? First off you had NO business going into his mails, messages, none of it. BUT since you did then you should quit playing games. You either put up with it or leave him. End of story, no games, you found it and you leave him. And tell him why. Just tell him you were being nosy and went into his computer and found the notes/mail and that your read it. NOW he may very well just tell you he was being Nice and didn't mean any or it. BUT if you feel he is cheating then dump him and that was yesterday.
2007-01-08 06:47:20 · answer #4 · answered by GRUMPY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him know if it's over anyway. You must have had a reason to look, perhaps you've been feeling insecure....whatever it is you don't owe him an explanation, you only feel guilty because you found some dirt and you know he will be defensive about that. I don't think there should be any secrets in a relationship anyway, so what if you looked at his computer, my other half and I share everything.
2007-01-08 06:50:51 · answer #5 · answered by zweebob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you for not taking his crap. If he's tried to get her to be with him how is he going to do that if your there? Perhaps she hasn't agreed to it yet and that's why he's telling you lies. The thing is if you sit him down and tell him what you know he's just going to try and butter you up. I'd walk away and don't look back. When one door shuts another door opens. But if it makes you feel better tell him once you have left him then at least you have made the break. Take care.
2007-01-08 06:50:13 · answer #6 · answered by kim s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That must of been so heartbreaking for you, he is a looser!!!
He wants his cake and eat it too, by having both of you in his lifes! i bet his ex thinks that hes single...
You need to get rid of him ASAP, the best thing you can do is NOT tell him you saw the messages, as this is an invasion of privacy, and he may turn the tables around on YOU! and make up a million and one excuses to make out he is not talking to her and it was YOUR mistake....
You just need to tell him its OVER and that you know the truth about him wanting his ex back, and tell him you are not wasting your time and love on someone who doesnt appreciate it and on someone who LIES!!
Good luck, you can do so much better!!!!
2007-01-08 06:46:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing!
Not sure that there is a way of airing the dirty laundry without some kind of hard feeling and harsh words. But, as you said, you are geared up to leave him, so maybe it's the best time.
Be honest - at least you'll already be one up on him for that one... Not to mention the fact that you haven't been a lying, cheating, scheming, two-faced ares like he has.
Not all guys are like that.... Trust me! I am one.
2007-01-08 06:42:02 · answer #8 · answered by studleydave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's dirty. You obviously didn't trust him to begin with. Why were you going through his stuff in the first place. Now that you know, you might as well come clean and tell him that you are a sneak, and that he is a cheater. Honesty truly is the best policy. Next time however, be with someone you don't have to check up on.
Neurotically Yours,
NightSpawn
2007-01-08 06:40:26 · answer #9 · answered by the_nightspawn 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well if u found all that on his laptop and yoy seen it with ur own eyes theres ur proof,dont take this horrible but do u want to be with a man who still wants to be with his ex?youll be living ur life am i good enough,paranoid and so forth im sure your a really nice lady and could do with somone so much btter you deserve it.and for him just tell him u seen it and to pack his bags and get the hell out of your life as you need a man not a boy who likes playin ppl you can do it just believe in yourself
2007-01-08 06:42:53 · answer #10 · answered by wendihunthuntu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say to him that you know that not only is he still in contact with his ex-but that he is sending her loving messages-and that you won't be sticking around. THEN GO. Do not give him the chance to try and come up with some lame excuses or try and soften you up.
2007-01-08 06:47:33 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋