I think I'm suffering from major depression... Help?

Question

I've just turned 14 and my parents are really driving my whole family apart. Although I love them to death, I'm also really angry at them for not giving me a chance to live a normal life.

Apart from that, my social life in school is also going downhill. All my "friends" ditched me once they found out I was gay. That hit me really hard.

And because I am gay, I predict that my life will only get more miserable as the place I live in does not tolerate gays.

Do you know of any ways of suppressing my anger or atleast healthy ways to express my anger?
To my own horror, I started having suicidal thoughts. I try as much not to think about it but it keeps bugging me.
Any help?

And no, my parents do not know about my depression or me being gay. I can never tell them because they are quite religious and homophobic. Whenever they see an article in a newspaper related to homosexuality, they will say that their are screwed-up,evil,pawns of the devil,hopeless cases. So that's why they can never find out.

Answer 1

Sweetheart, life is a *****, and then you die! My first husband, (who wasn't the greatest), left ME for a MAN...... The, My second husband was a parole artist!!!!!! Career criminal.......................Don't think of your life to please other people!!! To HELL with them!!!! YOU have ONE chance at this life!!!! Do it YOUR way!!!!

Answer 2

I admire that you were able to be honest to everyone at such a young age about who you are! That's so brave of you. A journal could help you express yourself in a healthy way. Your 'friends' were not really your friends & it's good you found out now instead of wasting any more time w/ them. Try to keep those really bad thoughts at bay, I know it's hard. Take a little solace in the fact that you're honest w/ yourself & others. Try not to predict anything about your living situation because you don't know what's going to happen or how anyone is going to treat you. I don't know anyone who's life is normal, & being mad at your parents will hurt you the most. -- I see now you haven't told your parents. It's ultimately up to you if you want to tell them--but you're really sacrificing your own happiness in the long run to conceal the truth from them. Think about how many fake scenarios you'll have to set up in the future, along w/ lies, and more lies to cover the other lies. It will cause torment & you won't ever be able to be truely at peace. You're #1 in your life and you have to make that your #1 priority.

Answer 3

i think your one brave person ,to brave to waste your life in anyway. Hang in there and if you havn't told your parents maybe you can but , my suggestion would be to tell the parent that you feel is the most openminded ,then tell the other parent . I hope you know that being gay is ok. I'm a mother and i have two sons and i have always told myself that it's possiable for them to choose or just become gay or bi some day,and as a parent I'll tell you that ,yes your parents won't except it right off, but, you'll find in time, they will .They really do love you just the way you are.But give them alittle time to adjust to the news. Your very grown up for your age and your friends ,well it's there ignorance that has them turning there backs on you. People seem to fear what they don't undestand.As for suicide... if you attempt it you'll never be able to find and fall in love with your future lover.Being in love is a beautiful thing that you must feel and experiance before you die.It would be such a shame .And if you fall in love with someone ,your parents will see that your happy and that's all they want for you. SO PLEASE...JUST DON'T KILL YOURSELF OK. ,talk to someone even if you have to pick your telephone up and dail anyones number, do it and when this stranger answers there phone, all you have to say to them is "" my name is ----- and i hope this doesn't bum your day but i'm going to kill myself right now"" that's it . god will take it from there.good luck sweetheart.

Answer 4

Do yr parents know that you are gay? Your life will NOT go "downhill" or more "miserable" because you have gotten to know yourself and realize that being gay is a huge part of your life.You are YOU and being gay is a a part of you but it's like being hetero too-you're only 14 and you will find other people who share the same values and love as you will find...maybe not overnight but there is a HUGE gay community out there(hey I KNIOW...I'm from Montreal) and you have the choice when you get older to leave yr small town and to experience the fabulous lifestyle and friendship that gay communities have to offer.For now...keep thinking about the future and what it holds for you-you WILL find a partner...finish school and then move on to a gay-friendly environment!You have only 2 yrs left to go....check out jobs in other larger cities,or colleges....You can do it....my friends did! Love to you from Cath....

Answer 5

I'm 14 and i know how you feel.
the exact thing happened to me except i told them that i was bi sexual not gay.
if they dont get over it then you will find new friends, these friends will be real friends.
your a teenager, and all teenagers have problems like that with their parents, expect it to last for quite a while, until your 18 at least.
your social life will get back to normal and you will be happy.
your suicidal thoughts may disappear, i had and still do have those thoughts, i use to cut and now it is something that i deeply regret.
if you feel like self harming yourself, go into your room, sit in a place that you can call your own and write poems, stories, songs, write a poem or draw or something to express how you feel.
it could be just a stage but if you notice that it is getting worse, see your doctor about it.
i really hope that this helps. good luck. love steph xox

Answer 6

Hey , I can't relate with you on the gay part. But i can with every other way. Ive been depressed before, and to teh point where i tried to kill myself 2 times. I was a cutter, and i was addicted to alcohol,drugs,smoking....And the thoughts abotu killing yourself are freeing aren't they ? You feel like if you let go, all you'll feel is freedom,no pain,no nothing...right ? I thought like that all the time.But what helped me get through was,find someone to keep you here.That if you leave you'll be hurting them dearly.My mom was it for me. I couldn't bare to watch her cry as I sliced my arm. My mom is my bestfriend adn my mother.I would never want to see her in as much pain as i put her in so many yrs ago. Depression is normal to have, it doesn't make you any different or less of a person.
I found what helped me get through losing all my friends and being tormented everywhere, was art. This is how I became a artist. I put all my feelings and emotions onto a canvas, and out came somethign beautiful.
You can try meditation. Buddahism.. is very good. Finding inner peace.
Talk to your doctor as well, and your parents.
Being gay isn't a bad thing these days. Believe me! You'll have so many friends you won't know what to do with them all. Me and my friends fight over gay guys on who gets to hang out with him. believe me, you're at the age of where alot of kids are insecure with their sexuality. They willl grow out of it,and accept you. You'll have a rough patch, but it will end,and life will just begin.
Hold on and stay strong. Only the weak dont' ask for help. And by asking on here,is just a start to being strong!
Good luck, and if you have any questions on depression or need someone to talk to ,gimme a shout at [e-mail]. I've been through depression and know what you're going through..dont' be shy to email :o)

Answer 7

Although I totally feel being homsexual is NOT an answer or direction you should *choose*. I will not pacify that for you.

BUT I will say this if it can help you.

YOU MUST tell your parents!! TODAY!! IF you do not, then they will continue to say hurtful things about homosexuals DIRECTLY in front of you!! I don't see that as being positive in any way.

At least you tell them, then they can choose their words better.

Answer 8

You need to meet other young, gay people. There are many sites like this, Google "young and gay":
http://www.thegyc.com/
Get 1 on 1 counselling.
http://www.rslevinson.com/gaylesissues/
These sites for depression:
http://www.dbsalliance.org
http://www.feelinggood.com
http://www.mentalhelp.net
There are friends and help. There are many gay people. Look under "gay and lesbian" in phone book or on the web.
Look in Yahoo Groups for gay groups, and Google groups, too.
Try these things, they will work. Get back to me for more help.
[e-mail]

Answer 9

there is nothing wrong with being youre self.
i have a few nephews who are gay and my family excepts them the way that they are there are others that are like this.
youre not alone dont give up

Answer 10

find a trustworthy adult who can help you get out of the hole your family has created for you