SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward
ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house
training.
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of
face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.
SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and
textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal
limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.
SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.
SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was
them.
SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room
you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.
SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.
SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.
2007-01-07 19:48:59 · 12 answers · asked by mrs microchipper 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ditto I agree with "Just Me".
2007-01-07 19:52:39 · answer #1 · answered by dogpatch USA 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny
2007-01-08 03:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah
2007-01-08 03:51:44 · answer #3 · answered by It Co$t To Be Around The Bo$$ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Three Vampires go into a bar. The Bartender says "What'll you have?"
The first Vampire: "I'll have a blood."
The second Vampire: "I'll have a blood light."
The third Vampire:"I'll have a glass of water"
The bartender scratches his head and says "Mate how come your friends are having blood and blood light and you're having a glasss of water'
The third Vampire pulls out a tampon and says "I am having tea"
2007-01-08 04:05:44 · answer #4 · answered by Spikey and Scruffy's Mummy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have suffered from some of those symptoms
2007-01-08 03:54:04 · answer #5 · answered by Wat Da Hell 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wish you were beer
2007-01-08 03:56:20 · answer #6 · answered by Jack Bauer CTU 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like dat!
2007-01-08 03:53:02 · answer #7 · answered by Voodoid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lame...
2007-01-08 03:50:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahahaha
2007-01-08 10:37:01 · answer #9 · answered by Kaka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol that's cute.
2007-01-08 03:59:59 · answer #10 · answered by laprincesse83301 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋