What do you think of homeschooling?

Question

My son is 11 and very immature and innocent for his age. He's got ADd, ODD, low self esteem and behavioral problems that get worse at school. He cries at night because he doesn't want to go to school because the other kids hate him and always pick him last for sports. I am afraid that the school experience is doing him more harm than good..He also has social anxiety and possibly slight aspergers. Should I remove him?

My boy would get to interact with other kids my friends have a home school support group going and they all go on field trips together and stuff.
To let you know he is in group therapy and counselling and we really work on his self-esteem to no avail. Also he may have a mood disorder in there somewhere since it runs in the family and he is of average or above average intelligence. He is just very socially delayed.
I don't want him picked on for his inadequacies iwant to empasize his special qualities in a very positive way.

I also am trying the tough love thing, he doesn't get chances anymore just automatic consequences. He also gets positive reinforcements.

I already switched schools because this happened last year too. But worse.

He's on strattera.

Answer 1

Oh God (not to offend. Just to emphasize my... emotion for this?)

If he agrees to be homeschooled, LET HIM!

I went through this too. It was TERRIBLE. Picked on all the time, picked last for sports and teams, all this because I'm white. Whatever the reason is for him, it is the most hurtful thing that can be done. And this started when I was 11, I'm 17 and it is still hurting me to this day.

It gave me alot of problems throughout highschool, which turned into me being a complete highschool outcast. I lucked out to find one friend. I switched schools a few times, and after awhile my one friend started switching with me.

Eventually I got out at 16 and went through alot to graduate early. There are ALOT of other ways to be social. (Church groups, ymca things, etc. etc.)

The mental scars have barely started to heal for me. I can't look anyone around the ages of 11-20 in the eye. If I see them approaching in public my head goes down and I stare at my feet until we pass. (A basic way of telling people you are afraid of them.)

Please, if this has been going on and he agrees, let him out. My parents didn't let me out because of the fear of me being unsocial, instead it ended up coming down to me being cornered every day and jumped at least twice a week. I have a strong feeling I will NEVER get past all that happened, and I'll never be the confident person I would have been had I not had to go through this.

It is past plain "kids are cruel, they tease you". It goes into, "kids are cruel, their parents think its okay, and this child may someday kill himself or someone else."

I'm so sorry your son is going through this....

Answer 2

Home schooling, while it has it's advantages also has a huge draw back which can out weigh any advantage of home schooling.
Since your child has a behavioral disorder I would reccomend putting him into school. The reason is because socialization is very important for school aged children and the fact that you son has a disibility means he needs more socialization than children that would be in main stream school.
Since you are having trouble with the school he's in now, you should switch him into another school or possibly into another district for a fresh start. Go to your district Board of Education and request a second CSE meeting (if you didn't already have one) and tell the committee that you want your child placed out of district (they will provide transportation b/c they HAVE to) and then go from there. If that does not work then I would say Yes, home school him, but give him the chance that all children deserve and let home school be your last resort.
Good luck to you and you son!

Answer 3

Sounds Like He Needs Help Dealing With Kids. I Would First Try To Get To The Bottom Why Kids Are Mean To Him.If You Just Pull Him Out Then He Will Never Learn To Deal With Other People And He Will Need People Skills All His Life. Surely This Has Happened To Other Kids At That School In Years Past.Try Talking To The Teacher And See If She Has Any Ideas.Good Luck.The Poor Child.

Answer 4

You should definitely consider removing him from his current school, anyway. My 8 year old had similar problems as well with his previous school. He has social anxiety, depression, and hyperactivity. He would cry to get out of school, complain about stomach cramps, and would sometimes vomit from the anxiety. He is at a different school now that has a program for such students. There are only 7 in his class, so it is not too overwhelming. I would start by asking his teachers if there is any special program offered by the school system for developmentally delayed students. You may have to ask the school system if they have any special ed program for your son. In our case, we had to switch to a private school because our son was not getting the support he needed in a protected environment. Ask your pediatrician for suggestions, too. Considering how stressful home schooling your special needs child will be on you and your family, you really need to investigate all of your options. Good Luck....

Answer 5

Make sure that all his special needs are being treated. He sounds like he needs to be on meds and there no prob with that if it will help him out. Can you change him to a private school for special needs children? look into that. Its the schools responsibility to make sure your child is being treated well. Talk to them and let them know whats going on. Talk to his teachers also. Home school may be the best thing though. My mother in law homes schools her last 4 kids *out of 8* they are ages 20, 15, 13 & 11 and they are really smart. The one on one teaching is very good for kids. The younger 3 go to the reg schools 2 times a week for music and math. Talk to the school right away. He should not have to deal with this, it will affect the rest of his life.

Answer 6

Maybe he should go to another school & see how he gets on there. I don't personally think home schooling is a good idea - kids need to be & grow up around other kids - if kids have home schooling then they are not going to be around other kids as much (however many other activities with other children they may do) & I don't think that is right or fair.
If you take your son out of school then it is sending the message to him that these horrible kids at school are in the right for doing what they are doing & that in life if something is difficult then to run away & let others "win". If he is taken out of school then it is much more likely that later on in his life he will let people walk all over him.
My advise would be to take him out of that school & put him into another one - also if he sees a therapist to work on his low self-esteem issues, that would help matter too.
Don't take him out of school - I can appreciate how much he hates it now, & how hard it must be for you to send him there, but taking him away from daily interactions with other children (they can't ALL be bullies) will do more harm than good in the longrun.
Also, have you spoken to his school about this? If teachers are aware of the situation then they may be able to help.

Good luck!

Answer 7

No, you shouldn't remove him - precisely because of the things you have listed. First of all, you must ensure that he was properly and thoroughly diagnosed with ADD - for that, he would have to go neurological screening with a brain scan, etc. and have comprehensive psychological screening, along with chemical/hormonal analysis. If these were not done, then the diagnosis you got may not be accurate.
I think you need help with your parenting. Obviously, at 11, you have not provided enough discipline (I don't mean punishment, here) and structure for him. Time to do some research for you and your husband, and maybe it's time to take some parenting classes.
Your son needs to be in school to develop better social skills and to interact with children of all ages on a daily basis. If you are not standing up to him, you are letting him get away with stuff - that oh, he doesn't "feel" like going to school because nobody likes him. That's baloney. As parents, you are responsible for helping him like himself and build his self-esteem - which you should have been doing since he was three and four years old! It's not too late, but you are going to have to work hard with him!

Answer 8

Sounds like it would be good to home school. There is no point trying to build up his esteem if he goes to school and has it ripped down. Look into some social skills groups (if your country has them) and home school. If you find it is not helping in 12 months them you may need to look at something different. Mainstream schools may not be the answer

Answer 9

YES! homeschooling is great. I have been home schooled for years. I love it and do not want to go to public school. I have a great home school group, I am in 4-H (on the county council), and I do lots of things to be active in the community with public and other home schooled kids. I am one of the most social in my church, and I have no problems making, or keeping friends. I also excell In most of my classes, right now I am at the community college to take math (at 3 grades above my age) and college level 3 public speaking. Last semester I took college computers and a college math that was one level lower than this.

do not listen to those who lie about homeschooling by saying that homeschooled kids are not social, this is not true at all. also in public school they have problems with drugs, drinking, smoking, and a whole list of things that you do not want your son to get into.

homeschooling is a wonderful oppertunity. in a group that goes on field trips you learn a lot more because of much smaller class size. also some times you get to go to more places. I remember going into the employes area to feed anamals at a zoo one time, they told us that we were the first, and last group that could do
that. also you have a much more flexable schedule, we were constantly on the road when I was younger and every where we went was a learning expirence. I have more life expirence in the "real world" than any public school kid could posably have. I have worked in shops (with my dad), have sat in classrooms that my dad taught in, lived through a huricane at the beach (we went to lock down my grandparent's beach house and could not cross the bridge back) I have climbed mountians, gone on boats miles out to sea, and done all kinds of things. all because I was home schooled and could count it for school work. I have also learned the art of cooking, and I hope to be in culinary school by next fall.
try getting my kind of education from a public school, it is not going to happen, for anyone.

Answer 10

Well, homeschooling is great, my parents homeschool me ,but you need to make sure that your little boy still gets to interact regulary with other little kids, because if not, that could cause some harm too. You should really think of everything, but it sounds like a good idea, you just don't want him to get too sheltered.