Am I wrong because I am attracted mostly to white men??

Question

I am an educated, fine, sexy black woman, who comes from columbian and cherokee indian heritage also. However I am not attracted to black men, because I have had many bad incidents.

The black men I used to date, cheated and slept around. That is why it bothers me when white women claim we get soo upset when they are with black men. I don't care, they could have them. I am mostly attracted to white men and spanish men. However many black men have told me I am a sell-out because I don't stay within my race.

I think this is stupid, considering that black men love to date outside their race. Why do they want me to by myself. White men are not intimidated by my beauty and education. The one's I have dated don't cheat, they can keep a job, and they don't have numerous baby mama's like black men. Am I wrong because I love white men and not blacks? Black men always cause problems in the past when I went out with white men. They even start fights. Is this right or a double-standard?

Answer 1

As A black women who went through the same thing I understand. Yes! it is A double standard. The biggest problem with black guys with seeing you with A white guy is that A brother can't satisfy you and you chose to settle. When A white guy can satisfy you just as well might not always be pebtration wise, but you will be satisfied. So dont worry about what other people say long as you are satisfied and that you have the support of your family. Girl now I aint trying to tell you that all black guys are bad because there are some good ones if your lucky to come across one. I mean I found A black guy who respects me, cares and much more. All I can say is don't be prejudice because you never know they could be your prince charming. So keep your head up and good luck!

Answer 2

You are not wrong to go against something that feels wrong to you. You aren't a sell out for not dating in your race, anymore than you are not a sell out for not dating someone born in the same country as you, or someone who has the same hair color as you(how silly).

But sorry to break it to you, men are men. Some are great, some aren't, and most are in between. I've dated men of all colors, and am married to and have a child with, a white man of latin origin. I had a very long term relationship with a black man before my husband, and he treated me like a queen the entire time we were together-I moved away and we grew apart. I have also dated white American guys-one was a cheater,but for the most part, I have had good relationships with men of most races. I also "talk to" a Vietnamese guy at one point-nothing noteworthy there either.

If you want to date white guys, you don't need a reason. You aren't selling out, that's silly. No matter what, you'll always be black. If you are excluding all black men because you had a few problems, that's silly too, though. Date who you want to date. Mature, loving, faitful men come in all colors. Excluding black men will not do you any good in the long run, if your real problem is finding a good man at all. One of my aunts was married to my white uncle for over 17 years-he left her 5 years ago, abruptly, for some other woman. They just got divorced. We thought he was the sweetest guy, but again, trash comes in all colors and sometimes it's hard to notice at first. Focus less on race, and more on personality.

Answer 3

I'm actually a black male, and I am attracted to white women. I don't see anything wrong with being attracted to someone of a different race. If you really think about it, we all have our preferences. Take for instance, most people. Most people go with what is familiar to them, so they gravitate towards those who are their own ethnicity. The reason is, they prefer someone of their race over someone who is not. It doesn't mean they aren't open to being with someone different, it is just preference. Its the same way for you or myself. We just happen to prefer someone of a different race. I don't dislike black women, but I have found black women (the one's I have been around) don't pay me much attention, but women of other races are more kind to me. Again, I have nothing against black women, but I just prefer white women. I would date a black woman, if we connected and I found her attractive, but I see no problem with what you are going through because I feel similar about this. Just make sure not to shut anyone out because of their race.

Answer 4

You're not wrong to prefer white men. But you are wrong to put ALL black men in a horrible stereotype. Whatever negative experience you had in the past, you have to confine that thought to the person... not the person's race. I'm sorry you were harrassed. You've got to remember that people make stupid mistakes.

Answer 5

You like what you like. Everyone have preference. I'm a asian female who prefer black males. You are right about what you say about black males though. Nothing is wrong with the fact you date white men. Don't pay any attention to what people say!

Answer 6

No, you aren't wrong if that's your personal preference. But don't let a few sorry black men discourage you from ALL black men. There are good (and not so good) men in every race. You just have to find what suits you though.

Answer 7

All anyone can go by in any life situation is what they know from experience. If your experience makes you lean towards white men for whatever reason, don't feel bad about it. Do what works for you.

Answer 8

There's nothing wrong with liking people with certain characteristics. Why go for people you don't like? Love has to be natural, and if you're not attracted to them, why pursue it?

Answer 9

i dont feel that all black men cheat or cant hold jobs...i know ALOT of white men like that as well. i believe the things you mention are your limited experience with color...but to lump ALL of a color to a stereotype is wrong. im white and date any race i am compatible with. would it be fair of me to say all black women are crackheads like the ones i see walking down 8mile after dark? NO...its not a total color thing, just the experiences you have had.
i however do not feel it is wrong to only want to date out of your race. just dont lump everyone in your stereotype. just say it is a preference and leave it at that.

Answer 10

i'm Asian and I'm attracted to Latinos and blacks more than Asian guys. They seem stronger and more romantic to me, whether this is true or not. This isn't wrong, it's just a personal preference.