I have dated three guys in a row that didn't want to commit. They are of varying ages (23, 28 and 28) and personalities. They all came on very strong with me like they were crazy about me but then they didn't want relationships. I am one of those girls that people have said am "marriage material." So I am wondering if I am just scaring these guys off...
Do you think this could be a coincidence or that I am inadvertantly dating guys with commitment issues? The thing is, they always pursue me...And they always seem like they are really into me, even when they tell me they don't want commitment.
Also, what are the early signs of someone with a commitment problem? I never pick up on anything strange in the beginning of these relationships...It's always a couple months in.
2007-01-07 19:15:51 · 7 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Here are some signs
-they only call u on the weekends, or times that you can hang out casually
-rarely want to hang out during the week unless other people are around
-dont communicate to well
-you should just ask them what they want out of a relationship right now. If the say not a commited one, find someone who wants the same things as you.
2007-01-07 19:21:07 · answer #1 · answered by supadol88 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, a couple of months in IS early in a relationship. A disappearing act is usually one sign. Sometimes they just start backing off. You have to be careful not to read it as comfort with you as a partner, though. I don't know. Sounds like you've now struck out three times, though, and maybe the next guy will be "the one."
But I still think there's something else going on - some dynamic, a behavior you are exhibiting (??pressure on them) that could be triggering their ultimate rejection. Do you explore at all with them if they are even interested in long-term relationships? I can recall one relationship I had where, after about two months of dating, the guy asked me if I would "be his girlfriend." I agreed that we would be monogamous. About six months into the relationship, I started hinting around about whether he felt he could ever remarry. He said he didn't think so. We stayed together about another year, and I brought it up again. He still said no marriage. So I ditched him. (I'm looking for marriage as an end-point, obviously.)
The thing they all have in common is you. Start thinking about your communication skills with them. What signals do you send? What are you verbalizing that could be triggers? Are you able to discuss these issues with them (like marriage or living together or whatever)?
Something to think about. It's interesting it's been 3 in a row. I"m not entirely convinced it's a coincidence, but maybe I'm wrong.
2007-01-07 19:31:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
some men just think they have to hold out until that imaginary freak train leave with them on it. I have gone Thur this in the worst way. They usually tell you from the beginning that they don't want to get married, but women always seem to think we can change their minds. Or think if we show him what a good wife I will make then he will marry you. So for me ... the early sign would be to ask him. First... they might say they don't want to get married right now. Means you are not the one and they just want to play. One sign is they want to move in together and never mention the word MARRIAGE. Don't let him bring their toothbrush nor his underwear to your house and don't you take yours to his house. This will surely run a non-committing man to the hills.
2007-01-07 19:29:05 · answer #3 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From their everyday conversations? if someone is commitment phobic, they will show when mentioned words like marriages, etc, they will comment with a doubt.
2007-01-07 19:23:08 · answer #4 · answered by isabella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes in todays world commitment is a rare thing.
2007-01-07 19:27:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well now you know. you answered your own question. don't talk about commitment so soon. wait a half a year or year. get to know them.
2007-01-07 19:21:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask if he is willing to get engage soon then you can discern by his response.
2007-01-07 19:35:32 · answer #7 · answered by sianpu 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋