A guy I dated is confusing me all the time,we get along wonderfully.Same interests,we understand each others feelings when somethings wrong.But the one thing I cant understand and he's explained too is.(what he said) "I think it's because there is a lot of me that really wants a lot of the same things you do, but another part of me that doesn't think it would work long term, so I sort of question wants the point.I enjoy being with you and there is not much I wouldn't do for you."And he always! tells me how great I am,and how hes attracted to me.But he throws me in circles! I do like him,and always will as a friend(there is a possibility of being more I think.) but should i tell how i feel?or will I be let down. He has a nact for sayign alot but never acting upon it.He has his issues,I accept that,hes been hurt badly,and i can see the great guy under all the BS he pretends to be.How can I go about either keeping it a friendship or making it more ?(we dated 2.5 yrs ago)
2007-01-07 18:55:52 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well,let me start off by saying how I think it's great that you two remained friends despite dating two and a half years ago.But I have a question,why did you two stop dating in the first place?Do you think that reason could play a big part in his fear of getting serious?Also you said that he's been hurt before,not just hurt,but hurt BADLY.People that are usually hurt in relationships find it very hard to start a new one for fear of being hurt again.Im pretty sure he sees how great a a girl you are.And from what you say he lets you know that he is happy to have you in his life.Maybe another reason he says that it wont work long term is because he knows he has issues right now.And maybe he needs time to sort through them.You have to just let things ride.If it is meant for you two to be together,trust me,you will.Maybe he just needs a friend right now.He sees a lot in you that he admires.You're offering him something a lot of females nowadays are afraid to offer.Your friendship.Remember this,rush things dont last.If you want to be with this man,be patient.Feel free to express your feelings to him,just like he expresses his feelings to you.But after you express them,let it be.Whatever comes out of it,whether good or bad,at least he will know how you feel and you two can take it from there.Realationships where individuals start off as friends tend to be extremely healthy.But if he's worth waiting for by all means,wait.You can see that he cares about you,and you care about him.It will be all worth it in the end.Remember "Dont settle for the one you can live with,WAIT for the one,you cant live without"
Hope this was helpful.Good Luck :-)
2007-01-07 19:16:21 · answer #1 · answered by Smooth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I think it's because there is a lot of me that really wants a lot of the same things you do, but another part of me that doesn't think it would work long term, so I sort of question wants the point.I enjoy being with you and there is not much I wouldn't do for you"
This part right here tells you already
He only wants to be friends, just leave it at that or you may risk losing him all together.
2007-01-07 19:03:03 · answer #2 · answered by americangurl_28 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a sore subject for me because it is so close to what I am dealing with myself the girl is there but not the thing is do you want to make a commitment or not first off you need to decide what you want and need first off and what your willing to deal with in the name of love and see what if any commitment he wants before you totally lay your heart out there for him to run over with a semi we can all offer suggestions but bottom line the choice is yours and his go with caution would be my best advice and don't do as I have done I'm everyday want for the axe to fall one way or another don't put yourself through that make sure to protect yourself first but be open mined not to lose what you were after
2007-01-07 19:09:32 · answer #3 · answered by lone wolf 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through this same thing! I'm sorry but it sounds like he just wants to be friends. He likes you as more than a friend, but for whatever reason doesn't see a long-term commitment with you. I don't know why and I know it hurts to accept that! My guy told me the same thing. OUCH! Maybe ask him why he doesn't see a long-term commitment with you. Guys can be funny about who they want to be a "wife." Usually just liking someone and being attracted to them doesn't cut it, they want it to be like in the movies, guys can be romantic too. Or maybe he feels he is too young and still wants to play the field. But in any case, I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm going through the same thing and I know it feels like hell!!!!
2007-01-07 19:11:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him,"Joe i think we have a lot in common, you are a great friends, but why are you always trying to tell me we cant go further, you have my feelings mixed up. what are you afraid of?
If you think there isn't going to be any further thing, stop saying the things you do, because it make my expect other things. stop using me as a yo yo, and then we will be only friends. See if he gets it.
2007-01-07 19:12:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
im just goin wit da 'just' of it. u mean u like being with him cuz he gives u everything and also can put u in check. u hate to love him. ive been there and your prolly wondering why are we not together. ive learn dat u just have to go for it. just go and let it out. then u kno where u at cuz its make u breathe better
2007-01-07 19:04:26 · answer #6 · answered by M.P. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
too long to read plz summarise in less words.
2007-01-07 18:59:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL
2007-01-07 19:00:12 · answer #8 · answered by Ed Clark 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋