a while ago i asked if i should stick with my friend of almost 10 years after he started a lifestyle i didn't agree with. Well now he is in rehab. over the holiday he got so messed up they put him in the hospital. I talk to him and he said that for a long time he's been depressed, that drinking and getting high made it easier to socialize. I know deep down he's a good kid. He's even turning to God and church. I want to be a good friend and support but i'm not sure how because in some ways i'm still mad at him for being an ****** to me. so how do i support him? how do i put my feelings aside?
2007-01-07 16:31:30 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i told him "it's new year and we will put the past in the past." I feel like i'm always saying this. I forgive him before he asks for forgiveness. Take him back into my life and he takes me for granted again. I think I have been supporting him for many years. I'm not sure that even when he was sober he appreciated me.
2007-01-07 17:05:49 · update #1
1st I have a lot of experince dealing with these situation I work with "Troubled" teens...and sometimes "Troubled Adults"
the first thing you gotta do is accept that your friend his Human and as humans we all make mistakes...So after Reliezing that... You can a couple things. You 1 decide that his mistake is Unforgivable (In my advice it's not...nothing is Unforgivable) But if you can't find it in your heart to forgive him, then you need to let him know that...2 you can forgive him...I am sure that you have heard the experssion "Forgive and Forget" It does work. only if you let it...When you forgive someone, that is the end of it! Don't hold it over their heads. So you can forgive him and let him know that yes you are upset about things he did...but that you forgive him.
It's good that he's turning to God...and Church. Because only God has the answers. You don't. God does. So if he's seek answers then the best place for him to seek is is God and Church. And if you are going to stick by him be supportive of it. Maybe even try going to Church with him sometime and being apart of that.
2007-01-07 16:47:21 · answer #1 · answered by harmycj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, i know somewhat of what youre going through because Ive put the people that I loved the most through some tough situations. Ive been clean off of crack cocaine for 4 years and meth for 11 months. U have a right to be mad at him for what he has done, but u have to also understand that his actions may have been derived from the drugs and alcohol. By all means Im not taking sides. It is hard. U can support him by just being there for him like u always have been and listen to him, ask him how he feels and if there is anything u can do positive for him. Maybe go with him to church and get involved with his recovery. There are these groups for people with loved ones that are going through addiction. Im sure they will have them where u are. The group is called al anon. U dont have to put your feelings aside, take care of yourself as well. Good luck to u and tell him to hang in there and keep his head up. Its mind over matter and sobriety is absolutely awesome. I wouldnt trade it for nothing in the world. God bless.
2007-01-07 16:52:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i know that you probably have gone through a lot in the years you been with your friend. Your probably tired, and feel unappreciated which is reasonable. I say that you should dig keep down and stick with your friend one more time. You say that he changing in good ways by finding God. If your friend is really changing for the better he will realize what a great friend you have been over the years. When he finally does you are going to feel great because you helped someone overcome a problem.
2007-01-07 16:41:43 · answer #3 · answered by flash22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He went through tough times, at that time he needed you the most. He has changed into a better person. Don't let go now. You've been good friends for a long time. A good friend sticks around, if he's still doing the same stuff then you should leave, but if he was going through a tough time of his life, you shouldn't just forget about him. When there are tough times, a real friend needs to stick around and help them get through that situation. He probably was going through a tough time and now he's good.Well good luck.
2007-01-07 16:38:17 · answer #4 · answered by blueeyedgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wudn't suggest u put ur feelings aside, i suggest u do talk 2 him about how he treated u but i wud w8 till hes in a better frame of mind.. still b a gud friend to him and talk 2 him and support him on his road to recovery it may not b easy at the best of times but just hang in thea as he will need as much support as he can get.. best of luck to u
2007-01-07 16:37:42 · answer #5 · answered by cheeky_babe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find someone else to take ur mind off of him
2007-01-07 16:33:10 · answer #6 · answered by Godson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how? u can just always be by his side...be there 4 him whenever u need him...
2007-01-07 17:04:50 · answer #7 · answered by lyn_shi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋