My mom is back in my life and the life of my sisters for the first time in 15 years. I'm 27 now so it's been a little hard on me but i'm over it. The thing is......she keeps making comments and saying rude things. Like she said to my sister who can't visit her until the weekends.....I guess I was out of your life for 15 years, i'd wanna pay me back for it too. We keep trying to reassure her that there are no hard feelings but she keeps stomping us emotionally. What can be done to help the relationship before we are committed for breakdowns?
2007-01-07 16:29:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
this is a way of her feeling less guilty. She projection her wrong doing on to you and your sisters. If she feels that you guys are mistreating her she can feel better about ducking out of your lives for 15 years. Maybe you should just tell her in a nice but stern way that you guys managed with out her before and if shes gonna continue to make things hard for you or being horrible bout the situation you guys can manage with out her a gain. This may put her into check and also make her see shes being a rag. Best of luck!
2007-01-07 16:51:52 · answer #1 · answered by fine_ass_fatty21 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If shes been out of your lives for that long and is making rude comments,then it doesnt sound like she is trying very hard or maybe there are issues causing her to continue to push away...maybe shes afraid to get close and rejected???Not knowing why she was out of your lives...its kind of hard to say but i would be straight up and honest and tell her that the comments arent helping to patch things up.If that doesnt work then maybe a third party such as a counsler or impartial person should intervene to get everyones feelings out on the table and explore issues that may be bottled up and unknown.being honest and straight up at the moment...not later...is the best bet.
2007-01-07 17:48:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she feels guilt....geez.. i can relate in a way...my mom left us back in the 70's...it was 6 of us...4 girls and 2 boys...us girls were put in an orphanage and my dad kept the boys.....after 3 yrs of searching i found my mom....we've been together for ever now...but i know my mom still feels guilt sometimes....maybe our lives would of been better if she never left and sometimes she feels like some of my siblings still have a grudge towards her....its just something she will never forget....just keep reassuring her...just show her extra love and that you love her more now then ever...you cant do much....its something she will always carry for a long time...my mom was only gone 3 yrs...for me and 4 yrs for my other sisters and she still remembers and feels bad....all we do is give her as much love as possible...and she is well taken care of by my other brothers and sisters....and we NEVER blame our mom for anything that has gone wrong with us....just show her lots of love...buy her flowers and a gift once in awhile.....good luck
2007-01-07 16:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by mspain719 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
who's searching after the canines in case your mom is spending the money? that's what you do. Take the canines for your interior sight animal guard and renounce them that receives position in a more desirable domicile. then you truly bypass out and bypass in mutually with your dad. note for a student loan or provide to varsity. ultimately, your mom is a grown up so enable her take care of her own alternatives. Get on mutually with your own existence and enable your mom take care of her own themes.
2016-10-17 00:14:09 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An open line of communication. Say what your feeling when your feeling it. If her nasty comments bother you tell her so. If you are just glad to have an opportunity to be with her now tell her that. I would say regardless of what your feeling just be honest with her.
Sounds to me that she's feeling extremely guilty for leaving you and is waiting for you to punish her for it. Subconsciously she may be trying to provoke your anger to get the punishment she feels she deserves.
I could be wrong, but that's my take on it.
2007-01-07 16:34:25 · answer #5 · answered by hthr_1974 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could all have family counselling together.Too hard to come up with any other answer.
2007-01-07 16:31:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she don't want to fix the problem, she wants to keep it going, people like that its hard to be around or talk to.
2007-01-07 16:32:33 · answer #7 · answered by curt 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you sever ties with her.
2007-01-08 03:38:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's what actually happen to me. but what can i do? i'm asian and i'm suppose to say 'no' to what she wants...
2007-01-07 16:47:59 · answer #9 · answered by No*Nick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋