My boyfriend used to smoke a lot before we went out and i knew that and when we started going out i asked him to stop because i dont like low lifes who smoke all day and whatever. He told me he stopped i never believed and him and he told me he still does do it but not every day like he used to , i want him to stop how should i tell him and should i be mad?
2007-01-07 16:10:15 · 23 answers · asked by kellyklark101 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
absolutely you have all the right to be mad.
2007-01-07 16:12:43 · answer #1 · answered by Joey Joe, yo 5 · 7⤊ 1⤋
You need to accept him for who he is (in this case a pot head) You knew that when you started dating him. You may think it's fair to ask him to stop for you but it's not. You have two options accept him, love him, and let him smoke or move on because he's not going to change for you. He will stop smoking when he's ready. It might be tomorrow or it might be never. Can you live with that? if not move on. Maybe once he loses you he really will stop but you should have never asked him to change in the first place it's not your right.
He lied about it b/c he didn't want to lose you or his other best friend mary-jane. but can you blame him? The real question is can you live with a boy who smokes? if not you need to break it off not ask him to change.
However you do have a right to be mad about the lying. Talk to him. Tell him that you care for him and want him to stop to be healthy. Then say if he can't stop your gone. or say I realize i didn't have a right to tell you what to do but that's no excusse for lying and forgive him. Tell him you would rather him be honest and if thats what he wants to do, while you don't approve you still care and want an honest relationship
I do find it funny that all girls think they can change a guy once your with him..well you can't. Live with it or move on.
Oh forgive him for the lying...he did it b/c he didn't want to lose you and thougght his lie wouldn't hurt.
By the way he smoke pot right? aka "low lifes who smoke all day" that can only mean weed right?
2007-01-08 00:19:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I resent your statement "low lifes who smoke all day" because I am a smoker, not saying its good to smoke, but that just because you smoke doesn't make you a low life. Anywho Well if he lied I could understand how you would be mad...but you should know smoking IS NOT easy to quit. It takes time- understanding, support, and nicotine patches or gum can help. Talk to him about how you feel, and hopefully he'll try harder to quit, if not, ask him not to smoke around you. If that's still a problem for you then maybe you should find a non-smoker if you can't make that work. good luck
2007-01-08 00:14:38 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all he has to stop because he wants to, not simply because u wish it. Secondly, smoking is an addiction and a very difficult addiction to break free from. Instead of being angry and trying to force him to quit smoking, why not offer to help him kick his habit in constructive more successful ways. Do some research on the subject of smoking, find out what issues he is facing. You will not only gather information to assist him in quitting this habit (if he truly is ready to) but you will also educate yourself about the issues smokers face when trying to quit or how very addictive smoking can be. Good luck.
2007-01-08 00:16:05 · answer #4 · answered by Darlene 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry...I'm a smoker...and it's hard even when your significant other asks you to stop. It's a very addicting drug. Smoking is harder to quit than any other drug.
No, you should NOT be mad at him...he is at least trying and cutting back on how much he use to smoke. He is at least trying for you. Also he isn't smoking around you, making sure you are happy. And you should be happy that he loves you and cares for you MORE IMPORTANTLY! At least he isn't cheating on you!
And also are you going smokers low lifes? Or just your bf? Because yes, it does bother non-smokers when people smoke around them...but being a smoker...I've tried to quit many of times...it's harder than most people make it seem!
2007-01-08 00:19:48 · answer #5 · answered by Nikki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't be mad. You really shouldn't have expected him to quit for you in the first place. If you don't like a guy who smokes, find one who doesn't. Don't try to change other people, believe me it doesn't work!
2007-01-08 00:15:26 · answer #6 · answered by Debbie B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"asked him to stop because i dont like low lifes who smoke all day and whatever."
Um, if you don't like smokers, don't go out with him, and don't say he's a lowlife if he smokes. I don't smoke myself but if he likes it, why not? Is it that important in a relationship?
2007-01-08 00:14:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
With all due respect, posting a question asking whether or not you should be mad is absolutely rediculous. Are you mad? If you said yes, then yes, you should be mad. You have every right to be. But if you said not really, then no. Get over it. Done.
2007-01-08 00:13:52 · answer #8 · answered by kmparki 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to that. It is hard to quit. Don't get mad at him, but try to talk to him about ways to quit smoking. If you help him and support him and say you will give him treats for not smoking then he may quit.
2007-01-08 00:12:29 · answer #9 · answered by Metal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he lied to you about something like that... what else will he lie about? and the only person who will make him stop is himself. so either you have to get over him smoking or just plain get over him and find someone who doesnt smoke and has something going for them
2007-01-08 00:30:02 · answer #10 · answered by danuh_bananuh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u can ask him to stop but u can never make him stop smoking so u gonna have to find what is more important to u coz to smoke or not is his choice not urs
2007-01-08 00:15:11 · answer #11 · answered by vakere2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋