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She is 7 and I played it cool. I said we should talk about it and that it is ok not to like someone all the time. She said that sometimes I am mean.. that I yell (I am not a yeller, very rarely) and that I talk behind her back to myself, her uncle and her grandma... I do talk about her.. she is my pride and joy, but rarely will I say anything negative behind her back... So I kep digging to see what was bugging her... as those reasons dont' seem valid... she said I should take her to more fun places.. she had nothing else to say that was negative.. I didn't want to push it, and so I said that she did really great talking to me about it and that is what makes people that live together get along better: communication. Did I do ok... Should I have hurt feelings?

2007-01-07 15:54:49 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

29 answers

I think its awesome that your daughter can express herself like this!! So many kids keep these thing bottled up and their parents don't know what to think or do! She is going through what every 7 year old kid goes through. She's venting! I wouldn't take it anymore than that. You are doing a great job and for her to be able to lay it out like that proves it!

2007-01-07 16:19:37 · answer #1 · answered by Christina 3 · 0 0

shes being a normal child one minute they love us the next they hate us for one reason or the other , the main thing is that u both can talk bout it , we all at one time or another have told our parents there mean when we didnt get something or they didnt take us somewhere etc , we have also told them we hate them when we got grounded etc , its part of growing up , expressing ourselfs etc , it may be that she was upset because lil billy down the streets mom can take them to a place like magic ,mmoutain but u can only take her to the local fair , rember it dont matter what money u spend on a child or the places that u go etc that make a diffrence in a childs life its the lil things u do as a family or together the time etc that the child will rember , if a child is use to a parent spending this and that going to those expensive amusments parks etc and all of a sudden cant go for finacial reasons them ther e upset about it , so rember quality time is more important than the quanity and places u go , ,

2007-01-07 16:44:32 · answer #2 · answered by dale621 5 · 0 0

I feel your pain my daughter is 8 i live beside my mother and father and my daughter is constantly loveing on me and telling me i am the best mother in the world then goes over there and flips the script. More than likely it is the victim syndrome that all children have at that age mine was looking for someone to coddle her and treat her like a baby and fuss over her my son did the exact same thing at that very age i mean exact you havent done anything wrong she is just upset about something and all mothers take the blame for everything we all know that give her the space she needs and of it is serious she will come to you but dont push even at that age they need to ability to resolve issues in the form that they are most comfortable with,,the fact that you are even on here asking this question makes is obvious you are a good mother or this wouldnt be bothering you next time the two of you are out haveing a good time like playing at the park or going to dinner bring it up those are the times when they feel bonded and are more willing to open up if i am having trouble with mine we hit up chuck E cheeses and she opens up like a flood gate hahahah good luck always remember you can love her but be reminded you are the parent save the hurt feeling for the teenage years believe me they are comeing

2007-01-07 16:05:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You aren't being mean, you are being a parent. What do you expect? The kid is 7. You probably did something that wasn't "her way". She probably got mad and said she doesn't like you. It was a mixed emotion. Of course she likes you, she only said that because she was mad. If she complained about you talking about her behind her back, perhaps it was because she was afraid of what you were saying. She might've thought you were saying bad stuff about her, perhaps she is guilty of something and she is afraid you found out. So she is worried that you might be telling other people aboit it. All I can say is, don't bug her too much about it. It is a minor issue. If it keeps on occurring and/ or gets worse, then perhaps you should discuss the matter further with her. Until then, remember she is only 7. Treat her that way.

2007-01-07 18:16:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think you are having a normal reaction, think about it, we carry them for 9 months and after that everything we do we do is for them so we want to be their favorite person and I am sure you are. I think her reasons were very valid, you say that you don't yell so you probably don't spank and you sound like a very cool Mom so the things she told you are going to be a big deal for her.
I think you should validate her feelings and her reasons to be upset even if they sound silly to you. When she told you that you should take her to more fun places that is very valid too and it doesn't have to be something negative that is making her feel upset. I think you handled the situation like a pro, maybe during the week you should pick her up from school and tell her that you are glad she talked to you about her feelings and that you appreciate her trusting you and then take her to a movie or to her favorite place to eat.
If you guys can talk now that she is seven when she is 16 she will keep coming to you and talk about her feelings, remember that every other teenager will tell you "I wish I could communicate with my Mom", I think she already knows she can trust you.

2007-01-07 16:21:11 · answer #5 · answered by Paula 2 · 0 0

I wouldn't have hurt feelings, kids have a different perception of life. They are very in the moment...how they feel at that sec, not really long term. We see things as adults with absolutes. As adults we also dont' realize how we come across, could be as simple as a tone she overheard but I think it's great you opened the communication. And maybe this is a good time to start leaving little Notes of Encouragement in her lunchbox or in her Laundry. And reliving things you did when she was young - baking cookies or walk to the park together. Trust me when she gets to be 13 it can get ugly...but we grow out of ...like my mom - I'm 33, and it's like we're best friends!!! Hang in there.

Just remember don't replace Quality One on One time with her with Material thing, and don't try so hard to gain her approval by being her friend than Her Parent. She needs your Love & Disclipline.

2007-01-07 15:58:42 · answer #6 · answered by Aphrodite 3 · 1 0

What you did was fine - and you need to let it go now. Do not bring it up again.

She's 7. You're an adult. Of course you're mean - you don't let her eat tons of candy and have a messy room and wear whatever she wants and play and stay up. They like to try out these emotions and feelings. They like the drama.

If it comes up again - play it cool. Say "I'm sorry you feel this way. I don't think I'm mean, I think I'm a mom whose job it is to raise you to be a happy and healthy grown woman. Sometimes you may not like my decisions and it feels mean at the time, but I think you know in your heart that isn't the case. Now, let's go get ice cream"

(And don't beat the dead horse - she'll be sorry she said anything and won't open up to you in the future). Parents today over talk their kids. Sometimes just letting them feel what they feel is okay. You don't have to find "closure"

Obviously she loves you. You should feel proud of that. Be more confident in your parenting!!

2007-01-07 18:02:56 · answer #7 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0 0

This happened to me when I was younger. I was 15 when my mom found a mean note I'd written about her. Part of what I had written was true, part of it was to keep up with my friends and their complaining about their moms.

Just because your daughter says you're mean doens't mean she doesn't love you. She probably wrote the letter after she'd been punished for something.

You should just let her know that she can talk to you when she's unhappy about something, then leave it at that. Making anymore drama about it wouldn't help anything.

2007-01-07 16:06:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

you have nothing to worry about, she sound like a good kid and she actually says something........to make you feel better let me tell you this, i am a mum to a 2 year old and there is a sea between us i mean 14 hour plane travel! so i call her almost everyday, 1 day i called her up but then she refuses to talk to me, i asked her care-giver why she was refusing and you no why?? SHE WAS STILL ENJOYING HER SNACK PACK.....POTATO-CHIPS! I was hurt and kept on trying to get her to talk to me until I realized that kids have short periods of emotion.........1 moment they are happy the next they are angry, and they only see the good in whatever is happening at that moment.........no future no history of them.........so don't make a big deal out of it, she is still growing.

2007-01-07 16:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by rockygee1 2 · 0 0

I wouldn't put to much stock into it. She does love you, she just doesn't appreciate you yet, but she will. Stand behind her no matter what and love her unconditionally. Let her know everyday that you love her. Kids write stuff like that and say things behind their parents back's but, they eventually grow out of that. Don't confront her about stuff like that because, she'll be angry that you invaded her privacy. I'm not saying don't keep a close eye on her, just let her think she has a little freedom. Don't ever doubt that she loves you though.

2007-01-07 16:03:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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