Girlfriend Controlled by Parents And Won't Leave Home?

Question

My gf seems to be stuck at home. She is nearly thirty and won't leave her parents. They use guilt to make her do what they want, and she is a total coward and just gives in. We have broken up like a bunch of times because she cant take the pressure of living a double life and hiding me from parents? They refuse to let her live her life. We have talked about it, and she is willing to do nothing. What can I do?

Answer 1

Is this what you want to put up with for the rest of your life???? Her parents will ALWAYS come first, and even though she loves you, she will always put them first. That will be the truth when you have kids as well. Do you want to fighting with her mother about how to raise your children? She likes how things are, or she wouldn't do them. You are not compatiable, just say so and move on. I know it's "complicated", it is for everybody. But reality needs to be faced here. It will go on for the rest of your life.

Answer 2

Wow, nearly thirty and will not leave home. Apparently you have a lot of love for this girl and that is very special..

I have a bf who is really controlled by his parents as well, yes, it is very hard to understand why he always does what they asks. But the fact she is hiding you from her parents...there might be more to it that you don't understand or she doesn't want you to understand. Maybe she is embarrassed by them. She also could have a rough past with her parents in her early childhood.

What you need to do...is have a very long talk with her about the situation. And if she refuses to do what you ask to save your relationship...I'm sorry to say you have to move on. And probably in that time that you have moved on, she will realize maybe you are more important than always listening to their demands.

I wish you the best of luck. But I'm sorry my advice isn't the best. But you can't have someone change their life because she is committed to her family. There seriously might be reason that she doesn't want you to know.

Answer 3

I honestly could say I consider you on some factor. and that i comprehend you're talking of ordinary little ones (no longer ones with autism or ADHD) or maybe although childrens could have off days that keeps to be by no ability an excuse to let them run the teach. And in case you are able to't take them homestead and are available lower back later then self-discipline them! do not let them keep going with the undesirable habit. even as my son acts up, i do not positioned up with it for even extremely. i don't experience that different father and mom could could be inflicted by way of a screaming, tantrum toddler. I honestly have walked out of eating places, grocery shops and shops because my son has had outbursts each so oftentimes, as any toddler does. yet i are literally not making others wade through by way of it and that i teach my toddler that it truly is no longer well mannered or style to be disruptive. some would argue that those undesirable father and mom could be pitied and that we do not comprehend what they're dealing with and for this reason shouldn't seem down on them....nicely i'm sorry, yet when my chum who has 4 childrens (all below 6) can keep all of her childrens nicely behaved and in line then why is it so puzzling for others?? it truly is because she disciplines them and corrects them even as necessary and teaches them that being disruptive is rude.

Answer 4

You are asking what you can do at the moment. One answer that I can think of is do nothing for the situation with your girlfriend and her parents for the time being. However, what you can do is something for yourself. That is, continue building your self-esteem and becoming the good person that you are. Obviously you are a caring person, or you wouldn't be asking this question. Moreover, your girlfriend and her parents will appreciate you more if you continue to concentrate on your own personal goals. Do you have a job, for example? Are you in school? That kind of goal-setting can transfer your energy into something positive.

Answer 5

My husband has a cousin like this. his cousin has lost many relationships because of his parents. I suggest you totally get on the good side of the parents as honestly as possible. Find a way to get to know them an work your way into their hearts slowly. If they have a church got ot it and like it if you can. They have a family hobby or thing they do together try to become part of it. Once you have their approval you can get her out of there but you may have to marry her to do it. How committed are you to that? Otherwise if she will not give a little for the relationship and love you enough to try and let her parents go just a little and be more independent you may have to let her go.

Answer 6

Nothing, it's time to move on. If she is not willing to stand up for what she wants (which you would think would be you, right?) at 30 years old, she never will. She's showing all the emotional maturity of a 10 year old. It's pretty demeaning for you to be kept as her dirty little secret.

I'd tell her straight out, I'm leaving. You can come with me or not. Your choice. I will no longer play this game.

Answer 7

You can either accept it or dump her. She really should grow up. Maybe you can teach her that lesson by telling her you want an adult relationship and then leaving her alone. She's survived for years without you in her life-- mommy and daddy are there for her. Life will go on for you too, and perhaps more pleasantly and less stressful.

Answer 8

I know from experience, that parents have "letting go issues." My parents still do. I'm 19 and not 30 though lol. But when I got pregnant last year and moved out to live with my boyfriend, they cried for weeks. Hell, They're still trying to get me to come back home. I felt so guilty for leaving my parents that I moved next door to them. So if you love her, just give her time. Even if you think you gave her enough. Our parents took care of us, and when they get older, it's our job to take care of them. My boyfriend is frusterated that we live next to them, but because he loves me, he deals with it. Just give her time.

Answer 9

You can't do nothing,, because she is the one who is willing to live with her parents controlling her life,, until she is ready to break free then your stuck,,

Answer 10

If you really love her then give her time and support.Maybe she is scared of moving out since her parents control her life.