Im only 17 and when i had my baby my mother made me give it up. it wasnt that bad, b/c my mother friends took him. i see him all the time but now i want him back. what should i do!
2007-01-07 15:37:50 · 10 answers · asked by Im addicted to the memory of him 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
There is really no way that you can have your baby back at this point. But at least you know he is ok. There are few mothers that get to be that close to their adopted babies. You may just have to let him go for now. I feel for you. And my heart goes out to you. I am glad that you decided not to have an abortion!
Good Luck!
2007-01-07 15:46:32 · answer #1 · answered by Angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can tell by most of these answers that these people posting have likely never carried and birthed a child before and have no idea how it's just not so "easy" as they think it is to give up a child and watch it grow up calling another woman "mommy".
Yes, you were very young to have a child. And maybe this is the best scenario for your baby...but maybe it's not. What if this family moved and you were suddenly in the position of NEVER seeing your baby.
In a lot of states, you are still legally a child at 17. (In other's you are a legal adult). I think you may have a very good case at getting your baby back if you were co-erced into making the decision as a minor. You may be able to work out an agreement with a judge that gradually transitions custody time back to you while you are fighting the case in court (because you likely may have to).
How long ago did you have your baby? Because also, in many states there are laws that allow the birth mother to change her mind within a certain number of weeks or months. You may want to consult a family lawyer who can guide you on this.
Lastly, before you make this decision, ask yourself if you are really ready to raise your child alone. Are you able to do so? How will you provide for the baby? Are you aware of the services that can be provided to you if you are low-income?
If you can answer these questions maturely and be prepared for answers you don't like, you may be ready for the next step.
Someone here said "mother knows best". Well you are a mother too...don't forget that.
Good Luck.
2007-01-07 17:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well look at it this way, when you're 18 you will be old enough to make your own decisions.
And if you would make the decision at that point to raise the baby on your own, you would probably have that option since you are the baby's Mother.
Did the baby go through a legal adoption process or was it just sort of a "Here, you take care of him..." type deal?
I wish you luck.
For now, he is probably better off with a stable family.
In the meantime, work hard to support yourself and prove to everyone that you could support another human being.
2007-01-07 15:47:30 · answer #3 · answered by Desiree 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to grow up and be a real mother. That means being selfless and not disrupting his life just because you are feeling guilty. Don't disrupt everyone's life because you feel like "I want, I want, I want". That is thinking like a child. Not like a Mother. If you are a real Mother you do what is best for your child, which you have done by giving him to people who can give him a good home and a future. You need to concentrate on getting ahead with your own life and feeling good that you thought about your child's welfare first and your own childish wants last.
Good luck!
2007-01-07 17:20:36 · answer #4 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No!! I had a child at 16 (now 25)
Imagine that child calling this other women mommy.... how do you feel??? You either have to let go... or take... but understand that with this child comes high responsiablities...
It may sound fun and heart warming. but will be nothing like how you imagined...
but years from now.. if you imagined your life without your child.. you couldn't imagine anything else.. even if it had been better.. your circumstance is so open.. depending on family.. college and so on.. but one famous quote that hung in my moms house that said "if momma aint happy, aint no one happy!...
You do not have alot to offer without a education.. So.. i say GET YOUR KID!! but only if you can handle hours of diaper changes.. feedings.. only to break long enough to do homework.. No boys// no dates.. its a long hard life.. one youll cry over now.. but when your fourty.. you wont feel guilty about because you left your kid..
(Seriously though..its not easy.. if you cant hang and these people are family and will work with you... then do it.. but realize.... your child will bond with the closest person.. and that will not be you.. and it will hurt.. so you need to except that and the fact that you have to grow first.. which is ok too) but eventually knowing that.. you will be able to buy him/her that pony later... sometimes it is best to take care of 'mom' first.. to offer the best foryour child.. it just depends..
Im all about a mom taking a child.. but it really depends on your lifestyle and machurity.. if you cant handle it and these people are willing to let your kid call you mom while you go to school, but understand.. when he/she gets boo boo.. you will never get the joy of being the one that is needed... those arms will not reach around your neck.. the will run for aunty... or so on.. this hurts like holy hell!! but sometimes.. is best for the child.. and this is what you need to consider.. not what you want.. but can you go to school.. come home and love your baby.. take him to the playground... come home.. clean up toys.. change diapers... make dinner.. and with the last bit of energy... (most important!!) do your homework..
I recomend this.. but it is not a easy task...
So god bless and good luck!! I am 25 and in college (finally) and even put school above my child.. for i know every luch he may skip.. and eat a bannana.. just bear with me.. and he will be better off later.. i hate.. i hate leaving him... my friend have dropped like flys.. they want to talk about kayaking.. while i talk about the hilarious new word he said... things change.. and at your age its hard to make friends with people that understand... as they are too old... and lame!!! or too young, and do not understand responcialbiltys, and that you have a baby to come home too...
2007-01-07 16:05:47 · answer #5 · answered by someone 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until your a little older and have established a good paying job. Then if you still want your baby, go through the courts. Good Luck.
2007-01-07 15:51:33 · answer #6 · answered by beaner 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Visit him often, but leave him with the people who have him. It is likely that they can care for a baby. More money, more settled and secure, etc.
That's in the baby's own interest.
2007-01-07 17:51:51 · answer #7 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow.If they did not adopt him he is still yours.I hope you are mature enough to care of him though. Thats Sad
2007-01-07 18:16:36 · answer #8 · answered by sunburstpixie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask a lawyer, they give free advise on the phone.. you can legal aide, you pay them back after it's settled 25 dollars a months
2007-01-07 16:51:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Mother knows best. It's good that you can see him. Isn't he better off with this family?
2007-01-07 15:40:40 · answer #10 · answered by Tenn Gal 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋