I have been dating my boyfriend off and on for awhile, and recently he's been asking alot of questions about how I feel about him and our relationship. He constantly asks if I'm happy, and if I'm not smiling all the time he says I'm completely bored. If I tell him I'm not he doesn't believe me. I constantly get, "What's wrong? Are you having any fun at all? What can I do to make you happy?". I keep telling him that it would make me happy if he stopped constantly questioning me. He says he doesn't know what else to do.
Her recently told me that his first "one true love" cheated on him and he's been having flashbacks, but he says that's not what this is about. I should point out that this is a grown man and not a teenager. What can I do to help him relax?
2007-01-07 15:02:28 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well there is nothing you can do to make him less insecure.. only he can do that. If you really love him you'll be there for him no matter how long it takes. He thinks he's no good for you if , and if your not happy you'll cheat on him like she did. He probably still has feelings for this other girl still and thats why he can't come to terms of you not doing the same thing...
If you tell him you're not her he won't beileve you and you'll drive his insecurties farther into your head.. Just stand next too him look into his eyes and say " I love you, and i'm compelety happy "
" But if you keep asking no sex for a week " but do it jokingly.. this will get him to let his guard down ...and he'll relax.
2007-01-07 15:14:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
RUN right now and do not stop until he is out of your life. What you describe is the textbook example of a dependent personality of the kind that often slides over the line from manipulation to violence. My best friends little sister had a boyfriend just like what you describe. She tried and tried to help him relax. Fri st she stopped using makeup when not with him and then it was not wearing clothing he did not approve for her, and finally he rapped her at age 16. He was just about to turn 18 and got away with it by getting all his friends to say the girl was drunk and went freely. She hated alcohol because of a friends death so that was a lie.
2007-01-07 23:11:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He must have been deeply hurt before, so try not to be too harsh on him. A wounded heart takes time to heal. Guys can be even more fragile than us when they are so in love and their heart gets broken. It's even tougher when he has to be a man, put it all behind him and move on like it didn't hurt that bad. Be patient with him and constantly reassure him of your feelings. Don't give him any reason to doubt. It will take much effort from you, but the question you have to ask yourself is............Is he worth it??
2007-01-07 23:09:06 · answer #3 · answered by artutina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf is extremely insecure, tell him to stop,asking you "what's wrong?" all the time.. If your boyfriend has no faith in you,your relationship will collapse.You have to show him.that you always cared about him.But if that still don't work,you are better off with out him. And get a bf with a matured mind.
2007-01-07 23:21:13 · answer #4 · answered by Vannili 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flashbacks from being cheated on? Never heard of that. He does sound insecure. Why, I wouldn't venture to guess. Some people are just that way.
2007-01-07 23:07:12 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all don't get upset with him when he asks these questions. People who are insecure don't respond well to criticism; and believe me he will see your frustration with him as just that. Give him plenty of attention and do little things to remind him of your love or affection for him. Eventually, he will feel more confident.
2007-01-07 23:08:20 · answer #6 · answered by stacia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well thats why. his one true love cheated on him. maybe he feels that happened because he didnt make that girl happy. so he feels he needs to constantly make you happy or you might do it to him also.
just sit him down and explain to him that you would not be in the relationship if u werent happy. tell him how u feel about him exactly and then tell him that your fine and hes fine, he needs to trust you, and he needs to stop questioning you.
2007-01-07 23:07:27 · answer #7 · answered by luv2dance 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
all he needs is reassurance. tell him how much you appreciate him every once in a while. he may just be a bit traumatized by the fact that hes been cheated on. it doesnt matter what age you are.
2007-01-07 23:12:36 · answer #8 · answered by blob888 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God! your bf just turned into a wussy, if you want to help him send him this web site.
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/
he doesn't realize that he is scaring you away, and the more he tries the more you'll pull back
He probably think that he is wining you over.
If he keeps acting like that you are going to have to dump him.
2007-01-07 23:08:49 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. Sly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*** it's not up to u to make him relax...those are HIS issues. provided you're not out flirting and messing around (and i assume you're not) then you're doing all u need to do and it's up to him to get rid of his old baggage. if he can't or chooses not to i suggest u give this relationship some serious thought b/c it may get a whole lot worse.
2007-01-07 23:05:57 · answer #10 · answered by meme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋