Need help with toddler tantrum!?

Question

Our son is 3 yrs old and is very strong willed he has temper tantrums along with prolonged crying that can last upwards of 45 min to 1 hour, nothing we do can calm him down.
Any suggestions on how to stop this behavior?

Answer 1

The only solution is to find out what the problem is. His "strong will" will be called determination when he is older. It's a good thing-don't try to extinguish it. "Behavior" is just a gauge, like a thermometer. You don't want to stop his behavior, you want to fix the problem. Stopping the behavior is like extinguishing the symptoms of an illness. It may "work", in the short run, but in the long run what you have actually done is allow the illness to silently get stronger. By the time you realize you have a full blown disease on your hands, you have to do something drastic. It doesn't have to get that far.

Tantrums are super exhausting-for parents and kids, but people of all ages(not just toddlers) have angry outburst. The only difference is that as adults, we are empowered to solve our problems, or seek out someone who can help us. Kids need our help since they are lacking the power to help themselves fully. This is when the frustation between parent and child settles in, because our kids don't know that sometimes we as parents are just as clueless as they are. They just trustingly continue to appeal to us for help, desperately, over and over again. Without answers, we are compelled to throw our hands in the air in pure exasperation.This is when a really good relationship with your child should help you..

Truthfully, you and your child(together) have the best answer to this question. Try to find out what is bothering your toddler. Is he tired, hungry, bored, frustrated, allergic to something? Any "solution" without a known problem is just a temporary bandaid.

My husband and I just recently went through the same type of thing with our toddler. With the holidays and all, our entire schedules changed: new people constantly in and out of the house, noise all day and night long, strange food, crazy relatives, bright lights, etc. Our little one, usually very calm, was stressed to the max! No one else knew why, but we did! It took him 2 weeks of "back to normal" living, to destress him. Has something new happened at school/daycare, has there been a major change in his life recently-good or bad?

If in the end, after doing all the brain picking possible, even asking him "how are you feeling?(sad, mad, hungry,etc), you still can't figure out what is bothering him, you just need to be there for him when he falls out in the floor or wherever. Let him know that you love him, you hope he feels better, and just be a rock for him. Always try to frame him in a positive light, don't leave him when he is down in the dumps and frustrated. He needs to know that you love him and will be there for him even when he feels terrible, and is less than desirable to the outside world. He may just need to unravel and decompress-that's what my husband calls it every afternoon that he comes home from work and pouts in front of the tv. :-)

Answer 2

The most important tip of advice that can be given when dealing with a tantrum -- Staying calm! Children are very keen into reading the emotions of their parents or others in thworld surroundings. If you are getting frustrated and stressed with your crying child, they will continue to act the same way. By staying calm, it will help your child to get through their crying spell, and help you to regain control in return.

Dealing with your tantrum ming toddler can be difficult at times, and of course, is no fun for you or your child.

By following these tips and bits of advice, you will find your child having less crying spells and more time having fun and learning as they grow. Tantrums are just a part of your child growing and responding to their everyday life. That is why it is so important for us as parents to guide them through and remain calm. Toddlers will be toddlers, and we love them no matter what.

Answer 3

I also have a 3 year old. What I do is change the subject. I find something that he can't resist, and he instantly stops. I example is his toy tantrum. If another child plays with his toys, he goes crazy. If it happens, I will take out a new toy or maybe a piece of chocolate and start playing or eating in front of him. He sees this and stops screaming and wants what I have.

Answer 4

I am a firm believer in this program, 1 2 3 magic. It works on kids of all ages and 3 is the perfect age before it gets way out of hand!
we are foster parents and have a lot of kids with ADHD and other mental issues. If I can get this to work on them you can get it to work on a normal 3 yr old. Remember YOU both as parents have to follow this.

Answer 5

You need to simply walk away and ignore him when he breaks down like this. Never, ever give in to him. It will get worse for awhile, but eventually he'll realize he can't get his way all the time. You also need to take a close hard look at your own actions. Little ones learn by mirroring their parents. Make sure you're not giving him any examples of how to misbehave when stressed (hey, it happens to the best of us!).

Answer 6

Have you tried being firm with him?
I'm not saying spanking but timeouts or even talking sternly to let him know that you mean business?

Answer 7

spank him, im 15 and even i know its not child abuse unless it leaves marks, but if u dont spank then the child will continue to throw them becuase he sees it as alright

Answer 8

swift and terrible consequences. you know him best. what would that be? talking doesn't help (obviously)