Why am I like this?

Question

First I'll say that I was diagnosed w/depression last summer and am being treated with meds/therapy.I just think this is something different.I get kind of envious of people easily.I wish I could be more like people,basically be the way they are but in my own way (I'd like to be like them but I wouldn't want to actually *be* them) I find myself jealous of my younger sis because she's taller,prettier, guys pay more attention to her,she has nice hair,she's more outgoing and even if she's nervous,she still does what she needs to do. I think I'm the opposite of that. I'll look at random people,"pretty" girls mainly (especially with bfs) and I feel like they're better than me because they have what I don't.Another thing,my favorite actress is Gillian Anderson.I love her acting, and not just from the TV show.I follow her career like a fan would,but I find myself just wishing I was more like her. Pretty and outspoken and just better than me. I'm jealous of her daughter sometimes because I wish

I could have her as a constant example in my life,and have someone like Gillian care about me the way she cares about her kids.It's pathetic and I'm fully aware of that,but I can't help but feel depressed about it.It's a feeling that won't go away for awhile and it affects my mood and anxiety and feelings for days and sometimes weeks.So, without being too harsh, does anyone relate to how I feel or have an idea why I think this way? And what to do about it?I apologize about the length.

Answer 1

I hate to be blunt and Dr. Phil-ish, but I think you just gotta get over it. Not everyone can be rich or famous or beautiful or whatever... and there are certainly millions of people in the world who wish they were as well off as you (you can read and write and you have a computer and speak English, so you're not among the world's least fortunate). You need to focus on you, and on being you and learning how to live life and find happiness playing the part of you, for all your virtues and all your shortcomings! That's the same challenge everyone is faced with, even Gillian Anderson! She might have issues you'll never know of that she has to cope with every day. So just be you and be the best you that you can be, and forget about languishing in envy.

Answer 2

You are just realizing that your expectations from life, and your personal reality, don't match.

It happens, on different levels, to everyone. The important thing is that you don't lose perspective and manage to stay positive.
You don't have to envy anyone... you have to realize that you can have the life you want to have.... provided that you set yourself realistic expectations, it's all possible to achieve. You need to gain confidence and understand that you are capable of achieving all these things if you set your mind to it.

The same thing happened to me when I broke up with my fiancee some time ago... I felt lost, and kinda envied those in healthy relationships, getting married, etc.
But that kind of thinking is bad! It's wrong to sulk about what you don't have and whine, instead of actually trying to improve things.

So, my advice is to stay positive. Try to improve your life. Keep in mind that life sometimes is not fair, but that if you work hard, you can achieve all the things you dream of.
And even if you don't achieve them, at least you will know that you did your best. And that, peace of mind, is the best reward you could ever have.

Whether you suceed or you fail, the important thing is that you *try*. Good luck.

Answer 3

i think the grass is always greener on the other side.. try not to analyze yourself too much or be so harsh on yourself... treat yourself like you would treat a best friend or someone you love... would you say the things to your best friend that you say about yourself? i would reccomend asking your therapist about cognitve-behavioral therapy, which could help work on changing your negative thought patterns.

from the national association of cognitive behavioral therapists:

"Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy...is a form of psychotherapy that emphasizes the important role of thinking in how we feel and what we do. Cognitive-behavioral therapist teach that when our brains are healthy, it is our thinking that causes us to feel and act the way we do. Therefore, if we are experiencing unwanted feelings and behaviors, it is important to identify the thinking that is causing the feelings / behaviors and to learn how to replace this thinking with thoughts that lead to more desirable reactions. "


p.s. i think a lot of the feelings you describe are really normal, and you would probably be surprised to find how many peopel feel the same way..... i don't know how old you are, but fortunately i think these feelings and things get better with age and time......

http://www.nacbt.org/whatiscbt.htm

Answer 4

try to look for a person that doesnt really know you n what you have (if u look like you have money thats what some pple only see, )so dont flaunt it if thats what you have been doing when u meet some one new try to find a new kid or two to hang out with (join a new club at school or something n insted of trying to be most popular ,maybe talk to a dude that maybe sitting by himself (the person that wants a friend have to first show himself friendly (bible scripture lol) you dont always be a part of the crowd you know

Answer 5

I feel that way sometimes. Alot of people feel the way you do, they just dont show it because that makes them look worse than they think they look. Why dont you take care of yourself. Do something to improve your looks if it makes you feel better. I know its a waste of money but getting my nails done and byuing new clothes makes me feel prettier. I also work out to make my but bigger. As for the actress, I dont know who she is. As for girls with boyfriends, half of them are only with them because boys lie to them just so that they can get in their pants. Guys probably dont look at you because they think you are hard to get. Act more "hoei" and guys will talk to you. Make your sis give you a make over. And guys dont really like taller girls.

Answer 6

Most women are their own worst enemies.Don't look for comparisons.Be yourself,you are a unique person.There is only one of you.Look in the mirror and be happy with the person you see.Don't waste your time trying to figure out ways to change things you cannot change.Make a list of your positive points.Write them down.You might surprise yourself and see the real you.

Answer 7

hon respectfully you sound fairly young. the feelings you are talking about are somewhat normal. it sounds as though you need to increase your self esteem. i am sure you are beautiful and how do you know people aren't jealous of you? if these thoughts get in your way perhaps you should talk to a parent, school teacher or counselor. do not be afraid to talk about it. other than that sounds like typical teenage thinking.


toronto g. obviously you hate yourself. god loves everyone even you. but you are doing satins work. get help!

Answer 8

Your comparisons are taking the joy out of life. Stop comparing.

Answer 9

I'll say drop the medication. It makes people feel worse.

Check your family history of any signs of mental retardation. Those are the exact signs of mental retardation and you may have been born with it and not know it. Check, this is quite serious!

I hope this helped.

Answer 10

Yes, it could be your depression, or/and lack of confidence.
Also, you could have jealousy.