They moved to Idaho three months ago. They have a six month lease. We went to see them at Christmas and they announced marriage. I thought everything was great. Friday she came home from work and he was gone. It seems she doesn't really want to get married and he feels that means she must not love him, so he just left her there. She hates being alone, it's a small town in winter with nothing to do. She wants to come home immediately but I want her to stay through the last three months of the lease to get more comfortable with being alone. I don't know the right decision. She's 21.
2007-01-07 14:29:34 · 13 answers · asked by Mary S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You said it. She's 21. She needs to start making her own decisions and handling the consequences of those decisions. I'm not saying turn her away if she shows up at your door. I am saying.......this is as good a time as any to learn. A commitment is a commitment event if it is to a lease! Encourage her to see it through for her credit rating. Don't focus on the relationship that is seemingly not meant to be. He's gone...Let him go. She should focus in on her reputation, her credit rating, her future. She should see the lease through (not to be alone) but to live up to and see through the commitment she agreed to. Welcome her home after the lease has expired and BY ALL AND ANY MEANS keep the lines of communication open, You love her, you are there for her, BUT THIS IS BEST FOR HER AND HER FUTURE (with or without the guy!)
2007-01-07 14:39:12 · answer #1 · answered by pamela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, do you want her living with you again? You have the right to tell your adult daughter that she can't move back in with you. Since it's her name on the lease, she will have to be responsible for paying the rent or finding someone to sublet whether or not she likes it. Your daughter does need to learn what being alone is like otherwise she'll just fall for the next scum bag moron who will leave her as soon as things don't go her way. Being dependent on other people is shite.
2007-01-07 14:35:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's only 21, and she is probably dying to see her loving family for comfort. Suggest that she come home for a weekend, and then go back to college or work or whatever she's doing. She should know that you're there for her, but also that she is technically an adult. But even adults need help sometimes.
2007-01-07 14:37:25 · answer #3 · answered by Rosalicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should keep the lease if possible. She should be living on her own since she is 21.
2007-01-07 14:47:38 · answer #4 · answered by Tenn Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you punishing her? She'll have plenty of time in life to be alone. She's 21,she's still a kid, let her come home and be comfortable with her Mom
2007-01-07 14:35:42 · answer #5 · answered by stacia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right about having her stay the last 3 months.
2007-01-07 15:02:57 · answer #6 · answered by morahastits 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is safe for her, I like the idea of her staying out her lease. It sounds as if that was your first instinct, so go with it. She will be learning valuable life lessons.
2007-01-07 14:34:06 · answer #7 · answered by Marjery B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to suck it up. Explain how there has to be something wrong with her that this guy does not love her anymore. Further that if she does not learn how to fix it now while she is young then no man is ever going to love her enough to marry her.
2007-01-07 14:41:50 · answer #8 · answered by mktk401 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she can handle the bills, she should stay, but she prolly needs Mom right now to console her, so if possible, go comfort your daughter.
2007-01-07 14:35:00 · answer #9 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made the right choice for you. She has to learn to stand on her own two feet.
2007-01-07 14:56:33 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋