Was I abused as a child?

Question

Was I abused as a child?
I don't know what to do. This year I did an evaluaton of my life and I really think I might have been abused a child. I don't remember it at all, but I have some symptoms. When I was in my teens, I was very promiscuous. I stopped being promiscuous in my early twenties, but I would get in relationships with people that I knew would not be suitable for a serious relationship. Then I when I got older, I fell in love with two men that I believe are both closeted homosexuals.(i read that this is a way of avoiding intamcy) I also have never achieved orgasm during pentration except for two times after I smoked marijuana.

I'm 28, so I don't want to throw any more of my life away.. but I don't know how to make myself better.

I don't have money for counseling and I'm not even sure if I was abused, but obviously something's wrong with me. Can any that's been abused shed some light? Do any of you know of any books that might help?

if i was, i'm very sure it was not either of my parents. they are great..but i know that my actions are not normal..

i'm not someone who is trying to find problems in myself when there is none. i grew up in a two parent home with a great family.. but i think ray charles can see something's not right with me in that area.. i'm getting good feedback so far. thank you

Answer 1

If there is a mental health office where you live, most of them have a person pay on a sliding scale. You really need a professional to help you with this. Best of luck

Answer 2

Hypnosis is over rated and you can be led by questions if you believe you were abused anyway. You could try to call your local citizens advice bureau to see where there is free or cheap counseling in your area so that is not entirely out of the question and the people that do it are as equally well trained as those that charge the big bucks. It sounds like you definitely have intimacy issues but it didn't necessarily stem for abuse. I had a friend as a child who played these terrible mind games and manipulated me and I only realized years later that this is why I also had trouble with intimacy and trusting people. Whether you were abused or not, you probably need to confront these issues, have a look on the web for some books on the subject and you can probably pick them up at your local library. Also, believing you were abused can do terrible things to your confidence if you dwell on it so if you aren't sure, try not to let your mind go there.

Answer 3

You do, indeed, have some of the symptoms of childhood abuse. I am a survivor of incest, and sometimes memories don't surface until you are in your late 20's or early 30's...no one can quite explain why that is. Obesity, drug or alcohol addiction, difficulty in relationships time and time again (especially the SAME problems), interest in same sex partners, promiscuity, and emotional distance are ALL signs of abuse in childhood. If you don't have money, try your local Dept of Mental Health. Most cities have help that you can get that is on a sliding scale fee, depending on your income. It can be as low as $2.00 per visit. Don't continue to wonder. Get someone to talk to , and find out for sure! Now that you have the presence of mind to wonder, find out. Don't spend another minute wasting your life in regret, anger, disallusionment or fear. You can contact me through my 360 page, and I will be happy to get back in touch with you. This is not a problem that will go away on it's on... DO something, and your demons can be identified! Good luck, sweetheart!

Answer 4

It's possible that you were abused but highly unlikely. Abusers are rarely able to stop, hence it would have continued to the point where your memory would not be in doubt.

Being loose sexually doesn't have to be linked to abuse. Nor does your picking losers for lovers. Maybe you need to give yourself a break from relationships. Many women (and men) think that being in a bad relationship is better than none. Not true. Focus on your job or think about a new career. Maybe volunteer somewhere helping others. Go to church. Do something to help increase your self-esteem and once you feel better about yourself, you'll be more likely to find a healthy mate.

Of course, therapy may be in order, too. Call your local health department and ask what mental health care is available.

Good luck.

More about repressed memories...

Repressed memories may or may not exist. There currently exists a great controversy among researchers, treating professionals, law professionals, and the general public as to whether repressed memories actually exist, and even more heated controversy over whether recovered memories are valid, especially in the absence of corroboratory evidence. This is particularly important as many controversial criminal cases have been based on a witness' testimony of recovered repressed memories, often of alleged childhood sexual abuse. Abuses of the Repressed Memory Theory and of controversial therapies like Recovered Memory Therapy often cause false memories to be formed. All theories claiming support for so-called repressed memories are highly controversial and have little support among mainstream memory experts.

Answer 5

I really think in your situation you should speak with someone in a real time environment, because it allows for better exchange. If you would like, I have no problem speaking to you via instant messaging, but honestly, all I can say to you is that, whether it makes you feel better or not, a lot more people have experienced disturbing childhood experiences than you may think, and it is not something that you should think is a certain cause for anything. I have been abused and have counseled the abused, I am available to you.

Answer 6

It is possible that you were abused. Sometimes, we block out all memory of anything that happened that may have traumatized us as children. If you think you were abused, try to find a clergyman or maybe a crime victims program in your city. You will have to address this because if you were victimized as a child it will leave you with a lifetime of torture until you know what happened and when. I haves seen people who could not remember until they got flashbacks in their 30's or 40's. The girl I knew thought she was going crazy but found out she had been abused by an older cousin at 4. She started having flashbacks and they diagnosed her with Post Traumatic Shock Syndrome. The same thing that would be common for military to experience in war. She had completely blocked out the incident until she was almost 40! I think it is God's way of letting little kids put things on hold until they are old enough to deal with whatever happened to them. Anyway, try to get someone who you feel comfortable talking to! You need to address what may have or have not happened. God bless you!

Answer 7

I don't think this adds up to being abused as a child. You have probably reevaluated your life and after having a promiscuous time during your teens maybe you just want so much more from a real relationship that you just haven't found it yet. You are only 28 so you won't be wasting your life. Keep holding out, the right guy will come around and that is what you are waiting for.

Answer 8

Promiscuity and fear of intimacy are both signs of abuse and both things I experienced. Being abused is not a way of "excusing" this kind of behavior, the promiscuity occurs because abused children are sexualized at a very young age and this makes them see themselves as only able to be wanted in a physical way and not an emotional way. I thought for the longest time that it was okay for someone to want to sleep with me, regardless of if they loved or respected me.

I was sexually abused as a child, but I unfortunately remember everything that happened to me. Check your local phone book for a rape crisis center in your county. They often offer free mental health services to women who have been abused. Also check for support groups you could join for survivors of abuse or rape in your area. Good luck, and I hope you find a way to deal with what happened to you.

Answer 9

Do you live near a major university? If so, they almost certainly have a school of social work or a school of psychology. Those departments have clinics that serve as training programs - you can see a therapist there for a VERY low cost (possibly as little as $ 25 dollars a session)

Isn't the rest of your life worth twenty five bucks a week?

Answer 10

Try and find a free source for the counseling like a 12 step group..or community type counseling..it sounds to me there may be a possible problem in the past..I wish you the best..Maybe read some books on intimacy issues...

Answer 11

if you have feelings that you might have been abused, and show some signs, you could be right. but why go digging into it? i was abused as a child, and never knew about it untill i was 19 years old. it made me feel even worse. if you want to move on with your life and make changes, learn from your mistakes, use them as stepping stones. now that you understand why you are the way you are, its time to move forward and make some changes.