My parents are divorced and it has gone great the past few years but now they seem more emotional over my sister and I. My dad wants us to live with him since we moved with my mom last year. And I feel that it hurts my mom to see us feel bad for dad and it hurts my dad see us feel bad for my mom. So I have been going one week with my mom and one with my dad but I still feel that they are sad. I can see it in there eyes and when I leave to go to the others house. What can I do to make them both happy?
2007-01-07 13:51:18 · 11 answers · asked by Bina 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you cant, they have to be happy for themselves before they are happy for you..
2007-01-07 13:53:41 · answer #1 · answered by just_acali_girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a great question. I sense the love you have for your parents. Parents arent perfect and they make mistakes. Some parents (who's hearts aren't so hard) realize to some extent, what divorce does to their children. Sounds like you have parents who have realized this and they are probably carrying some guilt because of it. The best thing you can do for your parents is to let them know that you forgive them. Don't choose sides, but love them both the same. Talk to them and tell them that you feel like they are sad. Ask them if this is true and then you can comfort them by telling them its o.k and that you forgive them for the divorce. If you haven't forgiven them, you will need to or it will cause you problems in the long run. Once you have done your part in communicating forgiveness and acceptance towards them, then you should not feel "obligated" for your parents happiness. People have to pay the consequences for their actions. Its not your responsibility to keep your parents happy. Its just your job to love them, accept them, and honor them. And by the way, if for some reason you are blaming yourself for the divorce, you must stop that. It wasn't your fault or your sisters. Often times, children feel like they are responsible for the divorce, but its not true so don't let yourself take the blame. Hope this helps. God Bless you and your family. :)
2007-01-07 14:08:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't, so stop trying to. Divorce is not easy, divorce with children is crazy. Don't beat yourself up over decisions made by your parents. Just keep doing the best you can and leave it at that.
2007-01-07 13:57:01 · answer #3 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't, and honestly, it's not your job to make them happy. They're the ones who messed things up. THEY are the ones who need to make you and your sister happy, not the other way around. So, you live where you are most happy living, and the other parent can make the effort to be involved with your lives.
2007-01-07 13:55:43 · answer #4 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not your place to make your parents happy, they are suppose to make you happy. I think you need to see a professional and talk to someone about how you feel. A therapist can help you sort through this problem and even talk to your parents, about their problem. Family therapy could help everyone to feel better. Good Luck, and God bless.
2007-01-07 13:56:48 · answer #5 · answered by betty_htch 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't your responsiblilty to make them happy. They need to fix themselves. As the adults, they should be hiding any emotions that would cause you to feel any blame. Sure its not great, but its part of being the parent. Later in life you will learn that you'll never fully please anyone. Just do your best to make yourself happy.
2007-01-07 13:56:21 · answer #6 · answered by chacha_waha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Show them this question and explain that you love them both.Equally.Their decision to divorce was ok and acceptable to you. It sounds like they both are trying to make sure you have no regrets over their decision.Tell them you love them and everything is fine.Good Luck.
2007-01-07 13:57:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that your parents sadness is between them because you are doing your part and being equal to both of them. i think it is between them and has nothing to do with you and your sister. maybe they miss eachother or want you two to each other. i am not sure but i would just spend time with both of them and say that i am doing my part.
2007-01-07 14:04:41 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs.Dennis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're spending equal time with your parents.. so what more do they want? It's not your fault. Don't feel guilty. There's really nothing you can do, babe.
2007-01-09 08:50:16 · answer #9 · answered by Cristina v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just stay in touch when youre at the other parents house.that way they both know you are thinkin of them
2007-01-07 14:48:33 · answer #10 · answered by starr67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We cant tell you much.. try to get them together and ask them yourself. It's a tough situation.. i hope it works out.
2007-01-07 13:55:33 · answer #11 · answered by Missy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋