right to have a guy that I'm just started to see spend the night when my kids are home? I don't really want the kids to meet the guy until I feel that there is something more seriuos.
2007-01-07 13:43:13 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, if the only reason you aren't having guys you just started seeing over to spend the night is that you have kids, I suppose that might explain why you're single with three children! You're doing the right thing, but the best thing would be to wait until you get married again to have sex. Good night!
2007-01-07 13:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I, too, have 3 kids and at 33 not married yet, and I know exactly what you mean. It's funny the way the kids will look at the geeky ones like they're bugs from the garden... but I think that this calls for a bit of tact, and make a point of not "making out" in front of them, and do day trips to the lake or whatever, and it's like we're all hanging out as friends, it's not the formal date thing, right. I really don't think that formal dating would even be appropriate when there's kids involved. Just the whole snobbish thing about would turn the kids right off of him. It's easier for them to relate to a guy on natures home ground, as well as their own home. That's what I've found, anyway.
2007-01-07 21:51:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That makes perfect sense. I've been in your shoes. We all know single parents are a package deal with their kids, but until you know things are working well, you want to spare your children the potential pain of liking someone you wind up breaking up with, or confusing your children with different men around the house. You're doing it the right way- good on you!
2007-01-07 21:48:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound old-fashioned to me, it sounds smart. Your kids are probably going to be traumatized by having a new father-figure of any kind in their lives - it's only natural - and you can help ease the transition by making it as little a shock as possible.
You deserve a love life, but they deserve some respect, too. I think you're doing the right thing!
2007-01-07 21:47:11 · answer #4 · answered by Dilettante 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree, it is a difficult situation. I believe you are doing the right thing not to rush with the sleepovers in front of the kids. Take your time and allow you, him and your kids a chance in other ways to get to know each other without compromising your values. If he is truly into you and your kids, he will wait. Or at least understand. Good Luck.
2007-01-07 21:52:16 · answer #5 · answered by curiousJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally not old fashioned ... it's being sensible and child focused ... your relationship with someone you are dating should be separate from your kids until you know it is going somewhere ... the last thing your kids need is the instability of being introduced to a string of men - it's confusing for them and totally avoidable .... follow your instincts on this one girl!
2007-01-07 21:46:32 · answer #6 · answered by K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would agree with u that could be bad for both ur kids and the person ur seeing by them meeting right away and maybe getting the wrong ideas for ur kids as well and the date. Would say just take it as it comes ur way and wouldnt force anything.
2007-01-07 21:45:54 · answer #7 · answered by webgemini2004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind that you are constantly teaching your children whether through actions or words. They will have little or no respect for you if they grow up with a revolving door of your overnite friends. You are thinking correctly by not involving them until a deeper relationship evolves. Keep up the good work and Good Luck.
2007-01-07 21:52:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are totally awesome. I wish you could talk to my brother! I believe that until you know that you are serious about this person and feel that they are safe to have around your kids, then you should just date them and not have them meet your children. My brother is always bringing girls around his five year old daughter without knowing them. One of the ladies he was bringing around was in her 50s, had Hepatitis C and was later arrested in a large drug bust. Needless to say, my brother's ex was pissed and for good reason. People who do that type of thing obviously don't have their children's best interest at heart. They are so caught up in their messed up lives that they act like idiots. Good job. More power to you!
2007-01-07 21:50:07 · answer #9 · answered by Willow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you are very considerate and yes I think you are doing the right thing. This shows you as being a responsible, caring parent. No its not being old fashioned.
2007-01-07 21:45:43 · answer #10 · answered by Lexy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋