Willys cynical thought for the fugging day;
There can be no freedom of religion without freedom from fawking religion!
So, I'm standing at a bus stop and they pull up. A car load of well meaning, bible thumping nut cases that are just frantic! The middle aged professionally dressed woman rushes forward...She takes my arm and with trembling voices she asks...."Have you found Jesus?" Her eyes plead with an urgency that is out of proportion to a bus stop.
Now normally I just politely decline the sermon, and free religious paperwork that such folk pawn off on unsuspecting by-standers. But, unfortunately for her, she is the fourth car to accost me in the last 9 minutes. So by now I'm beginning to wonder what the heck is wrong with these people. I mean if its not Christians it is the Jehovah's Witnesses.
Can a simple Druid get no peace?
So calmly as I can muster, without being sarcastic I reply, "You people lost him, again??"
The woman looks confused. This is not the response she was hoping for and she needs to regroup. She takes a deep breath intending to launch into her sales pitch for her God, and church, paying no heed to the concept that I might not be into being converted. I decide to not let her get going so I launch into a speech of my own...
"What is wrong with you Christians? Every time I turn around you've lost Him!" I hit her with a glare of accusation. "I mean really..." I take a measured breath. "How do you expect to have anyone follow a deity that you can't even find!"
The poor woman looks stunned. This isn't going so good. Panicked she looks desperately to the car... Surely one of the men can help.... Undaunted I press on... "Maybe the problem is with you people... I mean Muslims never seem to loose there deity. Come to think of it neither do Jews, or Pagans of any kind."
I look at the man getting out of the car. He's all smiles. "I realize you people used to burn people like me at the stake... What was that about... deity even? I may be a Pagan-heathen, but I have never ever woke up panicked that I couldn't find my Goddess or God. They are always right where they should be... In the fire of my candle, in the air that I breath, in the earth that I stand on, in the water of my spring. I never feel abandoned by my deity(ies)."
"Of course, you Christians aren't much fun..." I continue. By now they are all out of the car.
Befuddled, aghast, and at a loss for words.
"Of course," I offer trying to give them some defense for losing Jesus. "He could have left due to religious differences. If I remember correctly He was Jewish. So if you are really so eager to find him..." I smile gently to soften the blow. "Check the nearest synagogue. He's probably in there. Also you folks should try and remember that this is America... Where freedom of religion means ALL religions."
Slowly they climb back into their car and drive away. I stand at the bus stop... No pamphlets, no bible, no dogma. I haven't found Jesus, but I haven't lost him either.
Someone posted this here because they believe no one can have to much Deity. (Deity Coke)
It is a blessing in disguise. You can keep it to your self or pass it on.
Oh, and if you've found Jesus, please get his face on the evening news A.S.A.P so the Christians can stop looking for him!
http://www.willyblues.com/
2007-01-07 13:30:47 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
wow! do you KNOW just how much you rock?!?
i think i'm in love !!!! lmao!!
2007-01-07 22:32:01 · answer #1 · answered by jessiblu_83 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
haleluyah ,very nice ,
religious people(of all organized religions) will be confused forever because most of their faith is based on lies ,that were invented to manipulate them
.
the Bible ,Quoran are brainwashing tools that include keys to prevent the believers from believing alternative truths ,when one talks about Aliens their reaction is violently negative ,but they cant explain why
and all the time we are the product of Alien intervention ourselves
The only Gods we can trust are
Gaia (the Mother of everything)
,the Sun ,sunspot activity relates to mayor human events and the usual stuff like making everything grow and stop us from freezing to death.
the Moon which affects all water flows on this planet ,the curents in the rivers and seas as well as the blood in out bodies
,with out these Gods we would not be sitting here
other cosmic bodies also affect us in subtler ways
Jehovah or Allah is whimpy compared to this,he only effects peoples sanity
2007-01-07 21:59:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
LOL! I had read this before but it always makes me smile. Especially since I used to be one of those people knocking on doors years ago. You are right though since I bacame Pagan I have not once lost my God/ess
2007-01-07 21:43:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First, it is a mistake to pretend that Jehovah's Witnesses are not Christians. In fact, Jehovah's Witnesses *ARE* actually Christians.
Second, Jehovah's Witnesses do not employ the ungodly (and unscriptural) "recruiting" practices of certain self-described "Christian" proselytizers.
Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/jt/
http://jw-media.org/people/ministry.htm
2007-01-07 23:50:04 · answer #4 · answered by achtung_heiss 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You might get more peace if you try being nicer. I personally find it humorous when people claim to have "found" god. As one of Jehovah's Witnesses I enjoy helping others learn about him though. Just my $5(WOW Inflation)
2007-01-08 00:27:12 · answer #5 · answered by Ish Var Lan Salinger 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
As a Christian, I take issue with fundies just as you do and really enjoyed reading your post; FAH/LOL
2007-01-07 21:36:28 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I found Jesus once.
He was behind the couch.
2007-01-07 21:37:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes, the truth really is humorous.
2007-01-07 21:37:22 · answer #8 · answered by T Time 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
They loose him on a daily basis.
2007-01-07 21:34:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
That's hilarious!
2007-01-07 21:35:38 · answer #10 · answered by Emmy 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow, that was almost as bad as the "Christian testimony story's".
2007-01-07 21:37:23 · answer #11 · answered by *~SoL~ * Pashaa del Ñuñcaa. 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋