I think it was my fault my son quit soccer!?

Question

We lived in France ever since my youngest son was 11. Wich was 2 years ago. And he was a really good soccer player. When we came to the US he was the best on his team, And he tried out for the schools team and made it. They said he was a very good soccer player. And at the time his dreams were to be a professional soccer player. Well my middle child was just sent off to college, and we have been having trouble with my husbands father dying. Well ujst recently my son quit soccer. I've been wondering why he quit, because he loved it! He told his best friend that he quit, because nobody had been supporting him, and nobody would come to his games. Well his best friend told his mother and his mother told me. I feel so bad, because that was all he wanted to do. And now he cant do it. Is this my fault that my son quit soccer? Well i feel terribly anyway! what should i do!?

Answer 1

I don't think that's really why he quit. I think that's what he told his friend when he asked, but, not the real reason. I would delve a little deeper Mom. If he loved the sport that much you and your husband being there wouldn't matter enough to make him quit. Was he having a problem with one of his teammates? Coach? I'd ask probing questions and get to the bottom of it.

Answer 2

I agree with martha m that this was probably not the reason your son quit soccer. It could be that in general he is feeling neglected, which is possible given the other things that are going on in your family right now, and he quit in hopes of getting your attention. Which it has done! So now what you do is up to you. I'd say go to your son and tell him what a WONDERFUL son he is and how much you love him and how happy you are that he is part of your family, then tell him that you are really sorry that you've been preoccupied lately; list the reasons why and tell him it is not to make excuses, but to let him know that at least there is a legitimate reason and it is NOT that you are not concerned about him. Tell him that you are going to spend more time with him, and what would he suggest you two do to spend more time together. I don't know if you want to bring the soccer thing up or not. Just play it by ear. If he really likes soccer [and was not just looking for a reason to quit] that he will resume it soon.

Answer 3

Sorry about your situation MOM. I see a different problem here. The fact that he would quit something that he loves because his parents aren't coming to the games tells me that he is not feeling any affirmation or acceptance accept when he plays sports. Are you complimenting him in any other areas? Are you sending him a message, (with your actions, not just words), that he is totally accepted just because he is yours, or does he feel like he has to earn your praise by being good at soccer. He needs to feel special just because he is your son, even if he never does anything good. Sounds like this is the real problem. Does he have older brothers and sisters that are getting allot of attention? Sometimes kids can feel jealous of siblings even if you may feel like you're not showing favoritism. Talk with him and find out what he is really feeling and if he feels "unconditionally accepted". Hope this helps:)

Answer 4

If that's the truth your son also needs to know that the world does not revolve around him, and there are times in life when things have to take a back seat. Support him in everything he does, but don't let him think he's the only one. If he's the youngest more than likely his issue is he feels secondary to his older siblings. Perhaps maybe you've babied him all this time and now that it's not there he's acting out to get attention?

Answer 5

im no physocloghist but i think maybe you should go have a talk with your son and tell him that you are so proud of him of how good he is at soccer and that you are so sorry that happend and that from now on as God is your witness you will be supporting him 100% and that you love him.

if you wont support him then dont tell him this but if you really mean i think you should because you never know where soccer could take him.

JOGA BENITO!

Answer 6

Kids can be sensitive and he see's you've been going through a lot . I would sit him down and have a heart to heart talk and encourage him to go back to soccer the game he truely loves and that you were sorry you missed some of his games with all these things happening in the family but that you will go to his games and support him. youknow he's a great player and you want to be there with him. just let him know its not that you didnt' want to go there but with the family problems and death you got caught up in other things but that he is very important to you and you would love nothing more to go to a game and see him in action.

Answer 7

Ask him, open the lines of communication. That's the first step, c/ sounds like he thought he was being ignored. And if he is only 13, then I would say his soccer career is not over. Let him know you love him and support whatever decisions he makes.

Answer 8

talk to him....make an effort.....am sure if u compromise a bit even if u show up o one of his games late am sure he would appreciate it.....maybe u should just let him know that u were or are proud of him and how he made himself the best.....simple stuff like that kids like to hear.....and tell him ur sorry for not being able to support him as much as u wanna....and if u look at the situation u would find its not your fault.....for being so concerned u could tell that ur a great mom

Answer 9

If you seriously spent fifteen minutes writing this **** Maybe you should talk to someone who knows what their talking about instead of fifteen year olds scouring the Internet Try talking to your guidance councilor/mentor(s) for help; who most likely have better insight than most people here

Answer 10

Sit down and talk to him.
If he likes soccor let him do it.
Good Luck