we´ve given this relationship so many chances, but we´re just two very different people. we can´t communicate, it´s like we speak different languages. everything i say is misunderstood. i´m too sensitive, he´s too practical. he wants things done his way always. but i do love him and i know he loves me. i think we are both hoping that somehow things will get back to what they used to be... he says we´re just going through a bad phase but to be honest, i don´t think there´s a way things can be fixed. we´ve been together for 1 year and 9 months. should i hang on and wait of things will change? i´m afraid we´re only gonna hurt each other, and we will not even be able to be friends after this.
2007-01-07 13:02:08 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
bekah: we´ve been fighting for a good couple of months... then we were on a break mid-december through last week, when we met again and got back together.
greeneyed...: gosh, no, we´re not having a baby! we´re too young. i´m 24, he´s 23.
2007-01-07 13:17:11 · update #1
Hanging on and waiting for things to change will make no difference. If you want things to be better, you'll have to make an effort. No one can say for certain whether you two can work things out, but if you both just sit around, waiting, nothing will happen. If you really love each other, and you really want this to work, then you already have two very important things in common. You can try and build from there. You need to remember that YOU have the power to change the way you relate to one another. If you are tired of fighting, train yourself to walk away from the screaming matches. Just walk away. If it has to be his way or not at all, take the not at all. Go and do something with friends instead.
Honestly, you don't sound very hopeful. If this relationship feels over to you, then you might do better to walk away. Is it worth it to leave? Will you be able to live without having him even as a friend?
Whatever you choose to do, you need to make sure that your choices are ones you're comfortable with. Based on what you say, your situation doesn't sound completely hopeless, but will require a great deal of effort. You will need to decide if you are willing to invest in this relationship or if it's time to cut your losses.
Either way, I hope you find peace and contentment.
2007-01-07 13:16:42 · answer #1 · answered by Evalina Shezadreema 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and i went through the same thing...Oh my goodness did I want to throw in the towel. It was like...oh my your breathing again! Every little thing...and finally we just sort of figured out neither one of us wanted to be the one to break things off so we kinda just stopped. Every then and again we still have our moments, but we both know we love one another and want this to work. We adjusted and we're going on 3 years tomorrow. We married Sept of '06. No relationship worth having is easy. If you love him and feel he loves you, dont give up! Work on making things better. Try bringing things up gently when you guys are getting along. Dont lose control of the moment and dont let a conversation get out of hand, that'll only lead you right back to same chaos. Easy does it...You'll see. If love is truly there things will work themselves out in due time. Be patient. It is NOT easy, but it is possible.
2007-01-07 13:13:00 · answer #2 · answered by sally1068 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is like me and my boyfriend weve been going out for a little bit more then a year and we started fighting constantly over the summer and ever since then thats all we do and we broke up for a month but were back together now cus we worked things out but i talked to him about and i asked him what was so wrong with me and what i needed to change to make the relationship work out and he told me and i tryed to change what i needed to and now everything is going fine. so i would just try and talk to each other about why you guys fight so much and try to work something out so you'll be in a more happier relationship.
-hoped this helped a little bit-
2007-01-07 13:08:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is love?
"Let us not, to the marriage of true minds, admit impediments."
If you "love" eachother, and that's not just some BS way of saying you are so used to eachother, that it will hurt you to be apart, then you need to figure out a way to make it work.
If, instead, you are just in a comfortable rut, and are afraid of venturing off into the unknown lands of being single, then you deserve every bit of misery you get, since you choose it through your refusal to change things.
God forbid you should cause a child to come into the world in such a situation, for that child will be a point of contention to you, and hurt you even further by physically binding you to someone for whom you are now only emotionally bound to through your fears.
2007-01-07 13:07:08 · answer #4 · answered by greeneyedprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've already spent 21 months waiting for things to change, why waste more time? You can care about someone and not be a good romantic partner for them. Go your separate ways, hopefully ammicably, and don't waste time in the future with someone whom it's apparent you aren't compatible with.
2007-01-07 13:05:01 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are trying to be true to yourself. If you have only been together for one year and nine months...and you are just fighting....it sounds like you are both still very young and that you need to come to an agreement to let each other go.
2007-01-07 13:05:18 · answer #6 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl...you need to let this one go...all there is..is hope in this one..youre living on hope...youve got to find someone new..its going to be VERY hard...but..living a life full of fighting and arguing is the most horrible thing ever...you dont want it..but if you do feel like you LOVE each other..take a break..date other people..see where it goes from there
2007-01-07 13:05:11 · answer #7 · answered by RiRi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to your heart! at least he doesnt verbally abuse you argueing is healthy and natural between 2 mates.a relationship without arguing means the people aren't growing. As long as its healthy venting , it's necessary to see if you two are right for one another.
2007-01-07 13:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by smillas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just hang in there!! i went through the same thing in my relationship.no matter who you are and who you're with you're gonna fight.when you start to fight just talk in a calm voice and try to talk it out with out yelling,because when you start to yell thats when emotions go crazy,it's totally normal to fight,but it's all in the way you guys choose to handle it!! best of luck to you!!
2007-01-07 13:07:42 · answer #9 · answered by sarah kate 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you know the saying: if it was meant to be it will be. If it is meant to happen you'll find a common ground.
2007-01-07 13:04:54 · answer #10 · answered by jandracu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋