I've been engaged 6 months together with my fiance for 6 yrs expecting 1st baby in May. We are getting married next year. Should the baby have his last name for the sake of simplicity so after the wedding only my name gets changed? He wants it to have mine last name and we(baby and I) both switch after the wedding. A few friends have said hyphenate both names and just drop mine later. What do you think? Does one make more sense than the other? Maybe someone has had a similar situation or can offer a bit of advice? Thanks.
2007-01-07 12:57:40 · 31 answers · asked by charli_red1218 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think you should go with the name that you want the child to have throughought his life, weither it be yours or his.
2007-01-07 12:59:58 · answer #1 · answered by Gemji 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My first concern is why did it take your fiance' 5 & 1/2 years to propose. my second concern is that he wants you to give the baby your last name at birth instead of his? most fathers would object to this. I would be more concerned with the relationship with him and go with my heart on the baby's last name. I was engaged to my first childs father and I dumped him after the baby was born because he was an a s s. the baby(girl) carried my last name until the day she was married was never a problem.
As far as child support goes, I am a paralegal in Kansas City and we handle divorces involving child support all of the time.
If baby's daddy does not contest that he is the father - then you can get child support no matter what the baby's last name is.
If the baby's daddy does contest that he is the father - then you can still get child support after a dna test proves he is the father.
Either way, I have seen dads swear that they will pay child support, then they walk away and never do.
Men get very strange and stupid about child support, alot still think that they can walk away and never pay a dime, and I have seen this way too many times. The children suffer and the damn father is too much of an a s s and too selfish to help their own children.
My advise is get married before the baby is born and the last name will not be an issue. Everything else will fall into place as it should.
When in doubt, always let God guide you, pray to him for your real answer. Good luck to you.
2007-01-07 14:39:50 · answer #2 · answered by SAM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the overall decision should be made by the two of you and what you prefer - but one thing to keep in mind: in order to change the baby's name after the wedding you will have to file a legal name change and pay the filing fee which can be $60-$150 depending on were you live. So, it isn't always a simple process. You could just hyphenate the names and leave it that way.
2007-01-07 14:21:58 · answer #3 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TONS of people who have answered you are from the stone age. "The baby should have the fathers last name regardless, he is the babies father' Give me a f***ing break! You do what you want to do. Who cares about what society says, and the 'give the baby the MAN's last name', how lame. I'm not married yet, and if I were to have a baby before we were married, I would give the baby my last name. Not married yet. That is my choice. But don't listen to the stone age society out there telling you to name the baby after the MAN.
My fiance would want the baby to have his last name though, and I'm certain most men would. Kinda interesting and questionable why yours doesn't though. Figure out what is good for you :)
Take care, good luck and congratulations on your little one! :)
2007-01-07 14:18:48 · answer #4 · answered by Kass 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry...sounds kinda like a red flag going up when fiance says he wants the baby to have your last name when it is born.
Has he ever shown any doubt that the baby is his, or that he might want a DNA after it is born? Does he have any reason to worry? (sorry...no offense)
I would just give the baby your last name and wait until several months or even a year after baby is born before changing the last name. It is not a technical procedure in court to get it changed. But, if these is any doubt that the baby is his...or that he might split after the baby is born....then don't give him any cause to come after you and try and fight you for custody of the child.
2007-01-07 14:04:27 · answer #5 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why making this so complicated?
Save the stress and name the baby his last name. After all, you are taking his last name anyways. So only you have to change yours. Changing the babies is not as easy as changing yours. In some states, a DNA and court has to take place. Plus, extra money to do so as it cost to get issued a new social security card and those documents for the baby and yourself.
2007-01-07 13:17:47 · answer #6 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We had this problem too we gave the children my last name first as my husband wanted to change his name back to his birth last name and we hadn't done it by the time the children were born. To save yourself some hassle legally use his last name if you want you can call the baby by your last name (kinda like giving the kid a nickname) but it does cost $ to change the babies name later. It ended up being about $300.00 to change my husbands and the kids last names as we needed fingerprints etc and we need to swear oathes etc and get new birth certificate.You also would have to remember to tell your Dr health unit etc. etc.It really is easier not to mess with those things. We were also told we could use his last name at our children's school without the name being changed.
2007-01-07 15:55:53 · answer #7 · answered by emmandal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think that it would be SO much easier for baby to have the same last name he/she is going to have in a few months. If your fiance wants baby to have your last name then his later, then you might want to check into what would happen with the birth certificate - would it be a real pain to have baby's name changed? If so you might want to consider giving him his father's name, even if you introduce baby with your last name till the wedding.
2007-01-07 13:03:16 · answer #8 · answered by Cris O 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the baby should have his last name, because even if you two weren't getting married, the baby would usually have it's father's name. It would be different if it were not his baby, but I think it would make the most sense to give he/she the dad's name...it will be nice to have it's real last name on it's birth certificate and everything...
2007-01-07 22:50:25 · answer #9 · answered by Grace1228 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think a year is a long ways away and any thing could happen in a year i would give the baby your last name then when you get married you could change it.i think you should get married before the baby is born so you could have your husband name on the birth cert. so just in case he decide to leave you you can get him for child support. and if you dont married him and wait a year and if he decide to leave you for some reason and if his name not on the birth cert its going to be real hard for you to get child support from him.this happen all of the time just use common seance and this is not about you it about your unborn child to make sure the baby is taking care of when born.
2007-01-07 13:07:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say make it simple if you are gonna give the baby his last name anyway. Let baby have his name and no worries about changing it in the future. Don't let things get complicated that don't have to be.. Oh, and congrats.. a May baby!!
2007-01-07 13:09:42 · answer #11 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋