Is It Unhealthy?

Question

I have been with my girlfriend for 10 months, and I really do love her.
I am 18 and a HS Grad, and she is 17 and is a Junior in HS.

She wants to spend everyday with me, from the time I wake up until her curfew. She stopped hanging out with her friends a few months after we started dating, and I really get no time to myself anymore. I am in a band, and she always wants to tag along to practice and gets mad at me when we have a closed practice, and also tries to tag along with me @ work. [I deliver pizza] I've asked for my space plenty of times, and I really don't think I can take much more unless I get my space. Is this unhealthy for our relationship, and any advice on what I can do would be great.

Answer 1

Time for a serious sit down and talk. Tell her you've got something serious you want to talk about with her, but look sad (or she may think you're going to propose!)

Tell her you WILL not continue the way that you are. Be really honest and say even if she doesn't need to see other people (which I do think is unhealthy), you really do.

Now at this point, she may sulk and say you don't care about me etc etc. (This is tactical talk, girls do that).

Stand firm and together write down a plan that you can both compromise on.

I do wonder if she is worried that you might latch up with someone else and needs to be with you.....is she insecure?

Reassure her how much you care and that you'd care even more for her if she can respect what you want.

Start off perhaps with small steps so she doesn't panic. Perhaps the pizza delivery thing or one night a week with your band.

Remember hold firm, don't waver, she will protest but I feel certain she won't want to lose you. (No matter what she may say at the time).

Good luck

Answer 2

There is one thing for a girlfriend that wants to spend time with you because she misses you, but it's another if she is taking up all of your time when you have other responsibilities and she is getting in the way of them. I'm also concerned that she hasn't taken the hint that you want space. It's healthy to want space, but it's not healthy that after many attempts to tell her this, she isn't listening. That tells me that she either doesn't care about how you feel, that she doesn't care about your responsibilities. If she really loves you, she would have taken a few steps back to think and realize why you need your space. I would talk to her once again, and tell her exactly what you said on here. Tell her that you are not getting your responsibilities done when she "tags along" with you, and that you will contact her when you have the free time to spend with her. If that doesn't work, you might want to break up the relationship entirely and find someone else who understands the concept of a healthy relationship. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Sit down with her and actually spell it all out for her. Tell her you love her and love spending time with her, but you need alone time, too. Point out that if she spends every second she can with you, then it will be bad for your relationship. You'll feel smothered and the only way you can get your space is to break up with her. Make sure she understands all of this and tell her she can't tag along at work or practice or whatever. And tell her to call one of her girlfriends to hang out while you're doing your thing.

Answer 4

You should dump her a*ss and tell her she is being too clingy. You should start dating around with other girls too. That's the only way you're going to find a cool chick that will respect your time and space.

She should not tag along with you to work. That's just unprofessional. I'm surprised the pizza store didn't fire you for that.

She should not tag along with you to band practice. I don't know how serious you are about the band, but if it's anything that's focused on making money and is business oriented, her presence will make you look very unprofessional as well.

Answer 5

she's your girlfriend, right? well, she is the clingy type....if you've already talked about it & it hasnt helped, then what you do next may risk the relationship....it depends on what matters to you b/c she may not be able to change her ways. if you want space, dont take all her calls...then when she asks why, tell her exactly why....which is that you're not getting results or respect from talking, so now you have to show. good luck.

Answer 6

well everyone needs some time alone to themselves sometimes. i mean, it does get creepy when the gf tags along everywhere you go. try asking her again, but take her to a quiet place and talk to her face to face and tell her how you feel. i'm sure she'll understand.

Answer 7

YES, very because you need to be your own even in a serious relationship. Tell her that even if you are together, that you are both individuals. You need to mean it when you say it to her so she can get the message. JUST SAY NO when she wants to come laong there is POWER in NO!!!

Answer 8

Yes, it is unhealthy for your relationship. Sounds like she is smothering you. She may not ever stop. It may just be her way and if it is then you should get out of the relationship soon.

Answer 9

yea it is you need your space and it sounds like the only way ur going to get it is if u brake up with her or act like it so she will stop bugging you all the time

Answer 10

i would say she might want to try to become more secure with herself. find interests, do other things too. this could take some pressure off. good luck to you both and nice you love each other