What do U think - Good Touch Bad Touch - for 4 yr olds?

Question

My son's preschool is having a speaker come from the YWCA to talk to 4 yrs olds about good touch & bad touch. Do you think that a 4 yr old will be too confused & immature to understand the presentation?

I worry that it will open a lot of unneccisary comments from my son. I think he may not know how to take it seriously. For example what if I were to give him a spankin on his bottom & he were to yell out that I was bad touching him? Or what if he asks tons of questions trying to comprehend the difference? His Dad thinks he should go to learn what to do if someone does touch him. I agree w/ that. But I also think that he knows we never touch him in a bad way & he can't keep secrets, so I think that if someone where to do that he would think something was weird w/ it & tell us. He comes out & tells us when the teacher gives him a time out. And he asks questions if he doesn't understand something, like when someone dies. So wouldn't he be upfront about this?

Answer 1

If you are so concerned, go to the school when the speaker is there. The teacher would be glad to have you visit, if not, theres something wrong with that.
It is important for your son to hear this from people other than you and dad, plus the speaker might have more ideas that you may have never thought of.

I'm sure they will be thorough and whatever is not covered the way you want it to be, you would have been there to hear it all and can suppliment your own thoughts.

It is not illegal to spank your own child and I'm sure your son will know the difference and if it's brought up, the speaker will help to clarify.

It's great that your son asks so many questions, never hinder that by being shy or worry about inapproriate topics, if a child asks, he's old enough to learn.

Answer 2

First, I think you're overreacting a bit. You should consider giving your child the credit he deserves in deciphering that a spanking from Mommy/Daddy is different from an inappropriate touch by a predator.
Second, it's Mommy's and Daddy's job to talk to the child when the child is very young, but still old enough to understand.
Third, these types of presentations should have taken place when we were children so that so many of my peers weren't too afraid or confused about why it was that the babysitter's 17 yr old son rubbed her on her girl parts and was this a "secret between" said 17 yr old and little girl? or was it okay for that boy to touch that man's pee-pee? or was it a cool game for that nice school janitor to show that kid his prized posession? Thank goodness it's 2007, and not 1977 when these tactics were unheard of when I was in grade school. Horrific acts like that were falling by the wayside and not being confronted.
Last, I am glad that you mentioned it. I am going to call my local YWCA and see if they have a presenter who gives such talks. If not, I will petition for it. I have young children, too.

Answer 3

Often times kids who are touched get embarrassed, especially as they get older, so he may not tell you. The presentation will definitely be helpful. The way they will present it will be designed for your son's age group. Instead of a lecture, there might be songs and activities to help children understand.

Also, not allowing your child to see this may be kind of weird from a teacher's point of view. They may think you are afraid of him saying that you bad touch him or something.

Just make sure you prepare him for the presentation, and then follow up a talk about what he learned. You can then point of if someone every touches him he needs to tell you and tell the person to get off, and that you smacking his butt is not a bad touch.

Answer 4

I would ask to speak with the person before they come to the daycare and give their talk. Find out what they are going to say before you decide. I work at a daycare and one of the parents of a two year old in my class is a reproductive health educator. She speaks to everyone from preschoolers to the elderly and tailors her talk to the age and development of her audience. Her child knows the difference and understands when we change her(she is potty-training) we aren't "bad touching". Most likely this person is experienced in this and knows how to convey to the children the difference. If after speaking to the person you don't feel they are clear enough, then don't let him attend. Just make sure you talk to him. It sounds like he is very open with you, but keep in mind children can be easily manipulated by adults with a purpose. It is better that you deal with this now than when he comes to you, because that means it has already happened to him. The damage would be done and in a way it would be too late. This way there is a possibility of it being stopped before it could even happen.

Answer 5

I think it is very important for kids to know what is a good touch and also what a bad touch is. I have a four year old and i try to talk to her myself about good and bad touchs. I don't think that it is a bad idea for your child to see this presentation.. oh and about being upfront about this. He is four if someone tells him hey you will get in trouble if your mommy or daddy finds out then he will more than likely not tell, so yes i do think this presentation will be good and he will probably come home and ask questions just answer then to the best of your knowledge..

Answer 6

If you feel uncomfortable about the topic of the speaker ask that your son goes to a different classroom during the presentation. Just because that's what the school is doing doesn't mean your son needs to participate. I do think a child that young should know what is appropriate or not when it comes to touching. Infants have been sexually abused. Maybe you should do some of your own research and tell him yourself about good/bad touching.

Answer 7

youre kid should know whats up..but, how about you and the mr. give it a try?..to many people give credit where credit is not due..who is this guy giving the presentation?..like you said he knows how you never touch him and should know to tell you if anyone touches him in a way you dont..or learn about private parts..or in general tell you if someone takes his clothes off (other than mom and dad at bathtime), and know that you dont touch his private parts then..in my town there was a cop, gordy finger (real name, swear it), clean cut, shaved, 40's A COP FOR CRYING OUT LOUD....got caught molesting his foster children..made only to resign by the way...just goes to show you, books cant be judged by their cover...and a boy named poop aint always the bad one...check the guy out doing the presentation, or go with.....

Answer 8

He should definitely see this presentation! A person who is touching him inappropriately will find a way to make HIM feel guilty about it and not tell you.

He will know the difference between someone touching where they shouldn't and someone swatting his backside.

In this world we live in, he needs all the tools he can get to cope with things.

Answer 9

Knowledge is power.... no harm can come from him wanting to talk to you more about good touching/bad touching. He needs to know it's okay to approach you if he needs to ask questions, or confess something.
It may cause some embarrassing moments, but that's what having kids is all about.

Answer 10

It depends. Sometimes predators gain the trust of children and teach them it's ok not to talk. That's wrong. Maybe this speaker will reinforce that it's ok to say when he thinks something is wrong despite what an adult tells him. Nothing wrong in reinforcing what you seem to be teaching him already.