Is is fair that parents are blamed for their kids behavior?

Question

They say that if you have a kid that doesn't talk about feelings, that it is becauses the parent is not approachable.. etc... is this fair?

Answer 1

I think that oftentimes children are born with much of their personalities... but the rest is contributed by life experience. I would say that in a lot of instances, yes, it is fair to say that the parents are responsible. If a child grows up to be abusive because Dad beat him, or verbally abusive because Mom called him mean names, etc... but if achild is just naturally shy and doesn't as easily open up... that might just be personality. It's hard to say though. I guess it depends upon who the child is talking too. Does the child feel safe, comfortable, able to trust the person asking the questions??

Answer 2

A lot of times, yes the parent is at least partly to blame. I work at a middle school and there are a lot of students that have behavior problems, ie: they don't want to work, they are disrespectful, they feel the rules shouldn't apply to them. When these kids get in trouble, the parents usually call or come in for a conference and want to know why we are picking on their angel. Ninety-nine percent of the parents of problem students have the same behaviors as their children. Very rarely do we see a parent in a conference that expects the child to follow the rules, be respectful, etc. However, there are those parents who do everything they can to raise their children 'by the books' yet still have problem kids.

Answer 3

In some cases parents are blamed for certain behaviors but if a child does not speak of his feelngs a parent must question the reactions that have been demonstrated to past feelings. Most children prefer to tell friends, a neighbor, teacher or even write down the feelings in a diary and this is mostly a personal choice. The best way for a child to open up to a parent is for the parent to bestow trust in the child by asking him questions about your personal thoughts and feelings. This helps most of the time.

Answer 4

No it's not fair and it's not true. Everyone has their own personality. You can set an example for your children but there are many other factors behind their behavior. Some people need to build a trusting relationship with others before sharing their feelings.

Answer 5

a child's behavior is a reflection of its parents parenting. so yes a parent can be blamed for a child's behavior. if a kid is acting out its because its parent exercises no discipline, if its closed off then there could be too much discipline not enough happiness or caring in the home. i don't know, ill stop because I'm not a shrink

Answer 6

I think alot depends on your child's age and underlying personality, but that doesn't mean that you can't help them learn to express themselves. It may not mean that you are unapproachable, but maybe the child's a quiet introverted personality and in order to avoid bottling things up, or expressing feeling the wrong way, maybe the parent needs to make an extra effort to help him/her learn that it is ok to be sad, mad, happy and how to show that to others.

Answer 7

its not fair at all the kids should take the blame its their own actions. i know many good parents who treat their kids with respect but those kids are very bad.

Answer 8

Not always. People just LOOVVVVE to make judgements about others without having even a single fact to support it. Sometimes, it may be the parents, but not always.

Answer 9

not necessarily. some people try and try and do everything they possibly can for their kids and their behavior is still poor or unacceptable. we do see that some parents are poor parents and their children act accordingly but I still believe you can have a problem child and do everything right.

Answer 10

No it isn't. But the parents should try their best to teach their kids how to behave and respect adults.