Am I Wrong?

Question

I've been seeing this guy for about a month and a half now. So far, I like him (personality, upbringing, etc.) but one thing about him that I dont like is the fact that he's obsessed with materialistic things. I understand that everyone has their own interests, but I feel like there are more important things to life than being flashy.

Answer 1

Sounds like you are "down to earth" and he may not be.

Answer 2

I once dated a guy who told me right off the bat, "I'm very expensive". You would think after telling me that my feet would have grown wings and taken me in the opposite direction. I can only say I was young and dumb and thought he was special. Boy did I grow up!

What he was telling me is if you want to spend time with me you have to pay for it. Now I don't know if that's the case with this guy but he sounds very similar to the guy I dated. You might want to step back and take another look at him and a relationship with him. We all love fancy cars, lavish homes and a pocket full of spending money. There is nothing wrong with having those things if that's what you like and want. But if that occupies his every waking thought and word then there could be a problem.

It's only been a month and a half. Maybe some time away from him will give him a chance to see whether he wants "things" or you.

Answer 3

There IS more to life than being flashy and materialistic. This personality difference may be a source of tension between you for a long time if you keep going out with him. If he is that obsessed, sounds like there is nothing turning him around to more "modest" interests. I'd suggest breaking off and finding someone more compatible if you can. I dated a guy like this for a while, and for the reason you describe, it never worked out, and I was never satified emotionally. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

People has different taste; he's probably just being himself. Maybe you're the one who has the problem?

My friend and I have different tastes. So she would make a statement like "she's a simple person and she doesn't like people who are flashy." My comment was that - I love quality items and appreciate good things in life. I will buy it if I can afford it. It doesn't mean that I'm flashy; it's just my taste.

You can label people all you want; it doesn't make any difference. If you look hard enough, you'll see the real person.

Answer 5

Good observation, but I'm not sure what you're asking exactly.

Should you still be seeing him? That depends. Has his "obsession" caused any harm to your relationship or his wellbeing? Do you think about it enough to where it makes you irritable towards him? Does he know this is even an issue for you?

Why didn't you notice this before you started dating? Was it not as bad? Did you have a different mind set back then? Is this a completely new development?

Whatever the answers are, you're going to have to determine for yourself whether this is something you can overlook as a character flaw (everyone has them), or a serious roadblock to your relationship. And if it's a roadblock, is it worth ending the relationship over or would you want to approach him about it?

Answer 6

You're absolutely right. Society is so intent on making us believe that we need the latest & greatest in order to be socially accepted. But in the end, the only thing you really need is a roof over your head, a method of transportation, a supply of nutrition and the will to live...and then you're doing just as well as people like Bill Gates or Steve Jobs.

If it's a concern you have with your boyfriend, you might as well confront him about it. You don't want to spend the rest of your life with a boy who you can't be bluntly honest with and discuss disagreements with. If you cannot stand him being materialistic, you need to build up some guts and ask him to switch his priorities to longer-lasting things. If he can't do that, you need to find yourself another love interest. Hope that helps.

Answer 7

You're not wrong for feeling the way you do. But perhaps your bf has reasons for his outlook on money. Some people who have grow up without certain things (nice clothes, shoes, watches, cars, etc) love the fact that they have th ability to have those things now.

One of my good friends is just like your bf and I asked him why he puts so much money into shoes and material things. He told me that when he was growing up his family never had the money to buy nice things, and now that he has a job and his own money he is able to have them. I guess it's not a big issue as long as he's saving some ofhis money and not in debt

So, perhaps you should consider understanding his reasons, just ask.

Answer 8

To each his own, there are probably some things about you that he doesnt completely agree with, but doesnt say, you should decide if you can live with this, if you cant then you should make it known now rather than lead the guy on, he would be better to take the rejection now than later, you should revaluate your relationship and say something rather than bottle it up inside then explode, i make that mistake sometimes and dont even realize it until i have said something that i regret

Answer 9

well , a persons upbringing can affect many things.

if it was good and stable, it could explain why he cares so much for things instead of people and feelings.

poor desparate soul, he trys to be more flashy but can't seem to manage it usually

Answer 10

no darlin... u r right, there are more things to life then materialistic things but just because he seems obsessed doesn't mean he really is. perhaps you should talk to him about your feelings and see what talking it out will solve, if thins are still the same at least you know you gave it your all.

Answer 11

No you are not wrong. Do you like the fact he is materialistic? Do you want to be around someone who is? Remember the thing they love the most is materialism. Think about this....you are not the center of his world, materialism is the center of his world.