I am a Christian and lately I have been feeling like a total hypocrite. I have been attending church services on a regular basis, reading the Bible daily, praying multiple times per day, and witnessing to others about the greatness of God. I am trying to strengthen my relationship with God. However, I have been also having pre-marital sex, even though it clearly states in the Bible that, "For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication;" (1 Thess. 4:3)
I have decided to talk to my boyfriend about abstaining from sex for the duration of our relationship but I am scared. I want to remain in the relationship because I have started to fall in love with him but I do not know if he is strong enough to remain in the relationship without sex. He is spiritual but not religious and thinks that the Christian faith is full of hypocrites. I no longer wish to be one of the hypocrites that he speaks of and continue to live in sin.
2007-01-07 11:20:48 · 18 answers · asked by pjames302 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
i commend you for seeing that you have been a hypocrite. If he loves you, he will respect your decision, although you should have never said yes to premarital sex, but what is done is done. at least you are different than the average christian in that you want to change, that is REPENTANCE.
I wa 40 when my wife and I met and married, she was 23. we both were Christian, but i was divorced and very used to having sex. My wife was a virgin then and the first time I tried she stopped me, so I tried again ans she stopped me. I was about to try a third time and she told me she was a virgin. i had no reason to doubt her and I was more determined than ever to marry this girl.
I loved her even more because she was true to her convictions unlike me.
If he leaves you for this then you are better off.
2007-01-07 11:53:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he worth your becoming a hypocrite?
Your brain is ahead of you on this one. Nothing left but the fear. As a bonus, Mr. Spiritual will have something new to contemplate; in fact, he may even be getting some glee out of putting you in this quandary in the first place.
I wish I did not sound so critical of him, because he may be utterly sincere, but I am trying to reinforce your decision...
And the hypocirite thing is getting a little stale. We are all hypocrites to some extent, that can't be news...
2007-01-07 11:38:36 · answer #2 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to respond to your question at as quickly as, he's not worth if he can not look ahead to you until you adult adult males get married. Ask him if intercourse is greater substantial for him or you? i'm not encouraging anybody to have intercourse until now marriage yet i'm only curious, besides the shown fact that, how celibate human beings such as you will discover out if he or she is sexually nicely matched in case you do not experience until now the marriage? What if a competent looking guy or woman which you're falling for thus long is a awful lover in mattress which you basically discover out when you get married. Then what??
2016-10-30 07:05:41 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's gone. Seriously, if he wants a good relationship and your neurotic religion gets in the way, there are at least a couple BILLION other women out there who will put him before some invisible man in the sky.
It's great that you love your religion and all, but you need to make the choice between your tyrranical dogma and a possible lifetime of happiness with someone you love.
This is just another reason why Christianity simply gets in the way of normal life.
2007-01-07 11:42:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he belives in God...and thus belives in LOVE
He will not...but you must explain to him why.
If he does not belive in God...and thus doesn't know
the meaning of ...true love.
I am sorry...but the relationship is doomed to fail or
be unhappy in the end.
Pre Martial sex is only bad if:
- You have sex with a person you don't LOVE
( by love we don't mean sexual atraction...but spiritual
conection)
- You have sex with a person you don't plan to marry.Or that
doesn't plan to marry you.
But if you are not planning to make a family with him...what fruits will this love bare other than timely time taking.
If he is the man you wanna spend your life with and he belives you are the woman he wants to spend his life with.
If you both want to be as husband and wife in the eternal kingdom of God....
why not show how you feel?
If not....then....the whole relationship is fruitless.
There is a right man for every woman made by God
and a right woman for every man.
Why spoil yourself on those made for others?
If he is the one for you...you spoil nothing.
You bare fruit. ;)
2007-01-07 11:36:23 · answer #5 · answered by Geoz 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First do you want to marry a man who isn't going to stay with you if he does not get sex? If you do marry him and he feels that way then expect him to get sex when you cannot give it to him from other women, like in the last trimester of pregnancy and when you may have problems that prevent sex maybe when you turn a little older and lose some of your looks.
2007-01-07 11:30:48 · answer #6 · answered by saintrose 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well..
A: You're a sinner no matter what.
B: If it's not something you're comfortable with you shouldn't be doing it anyway.
C: That passage seems to imply that you shouldn't 'fornicate', meaning have sex without the express purpous of making babys, even after 'your sanctification'.
D: If he can't handle that, he cares more about your vagina than you and you're better off. Might hurt, but that's life.
2007-01-07 11:26:15 · answer #7 · answered by socialdeevolution 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This will be a great test of your relationship. You said you feel as though you are starting to fall in love with him. What better way to ensure he feels the same way.
If the answer is no, then he doesn't deserve to be having sex with you anyways...no matter the outcome of his decision, you are making the right choice.
I think you should be very proud of yourself.
2007-01-07 11:25:11 · answer #8 · answered by Jax 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
as christians say the bible is about love...so just love him and sacrifice your believes for the love of him...jesus, presumably, did the same for us, didn´t he?
About the test thing...Would anyone of you trust a relationship where one is always testing you??? If you see love why testing anything?? Just enjoy and be happy...A person alive and close to you is much more important than 10000 gods...(I am sure your god would agree with that)
2007-01-07 11:34:04 · answer #9 · answered by whoknows 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First and foremost, it appears that you and your boyfriend are not on the same spiritual page.
If he doesn't believe, or have your level of devotion...you're in for a rocky road.
Sex is the least of your issues here.
2007-01-07 11:28:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋