my boyfriend I had a hard times with him he left me three times and he comes back in every time abologizing and saying that he is so sorry the last time he dumped me was the worst he really hurt my feelings and I had the worst vacation in my life now he is back but the problem is he loves me can you believe this this is the problem. he can't admit his love to me in front of me because of being afraid of losing me instead he uses all his power to hurt my feelings and make me feel that he doesn't love me he thinks that this way he will never lose me because I'll be so worried on pampering him to keep him with me. If he doesn't love me why he comes back to me in every time he doesn't take anything from me no money nothing and if he loves me why he is hurting me please help I am so tired of thinking
2007-01-07 10:56:29 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Girl, don't keep apples in a dog house!
You need to get better love. Don't settle, don't ruin love for yourself. Don't let that guy ruin it for himself.
You can't go shopping at Target until you take your old stuff to the salvation army! So take that guy to the salvation army. And get to target.
2007-01-07 11:05:54 · answer #1 · answered by Miz Understood 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just ended a two year relationship similar to this...on again, off again. Let me just tell you this...
These types of relationships wear you down emotionally. You go hot and cold frequently and it plays havoc on your emotions.
It's not worth it to stay in a relationship like that. You don't have any emotional stability because you don't know when the next fight will occur or what it will be about...but you always know that another fight is coming...usually followed by another break-up and the cycle continues until someone finally stops it.
I loved this woman VERY much, but I finally had to just make it stop because it was just too much to take. Additionally, I am now VERY jaded on relationships as a result of the toll the ordeal took on me trying to maintain stability in a relationship that was totally unstable.
End this before you end up with similar biases...like me.
2007-01-07 11:04:12 · answer #2 · answered by iipiki_okami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you make a guy who loves you trust you?
A. If he loves you, he should trust you already
B. Be honest with him
C. This doesn't sound like he doesn't trust you.
It sounds like you shouldn't put up with him hurting you, If he really really loves you he would tell you and wouldn't hurt you.
D. Talk to him and tell him how you feel or
E. Just calm down for a while first, just listen to some music or something until you're ready to talk to him about it.
Good Luck.~LOVE
Listen to Fall Out Boy or Panic! At The Disco.
They help me through the roughest times.
2007-01-07 11:05:18 · answer #3 · answered by yeahyeahyeah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From personal experience, this guy isn't worth your time or your energy. You deserve better, and don't settle for anything less.
The reason why he doesn't trust you, is because of his own guilty conscience. It's truly not you, it's him. He's the one that's insecure, and he probably knows you should be with someone better.
He keeps coming back, because you let him. You are his security blanket when he needs it, and tosses it aside, when something better comes along.
If he truly loves you. He wouldn't put you through this. That's not love.
In the great words of Eleanor Roosevelt " No one can make you feel inferior with out your consent".
2007-01-07 11:04:51 · answer #4 · answered by chrissystout7679 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love my girlfriend and we fight all the time. she does things(like giving her phone number to other boys while we were going together) and says things(like "i wouldn't have to wait to go to college to cheat on you, i could do that now")but, regardless of the things she does i love her and love can make you do things you wouldn't normally do. if he loves(which i can tell he does) he wont leave you for good but at times he will think about it and when he realizes that he doesn't want to be without you he comes back to you. if you love him tell him so and i know i hurt my girlfriend all the time and believe me you never MEAN to hurt the person you love.he doesn't know how to react to being afraid of losing you, so he uses anger to cover it up and he hurts you to make you feel like its your fault. he doesnt mean it and he needs you. if he doesnt trust you explain the situation and ask him the question you are asking us. he'll give you an answer and just let him know you care.stick with him and everything will be okay
2007-01-07 11:04:59 · answer #5 · answered by IisIam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do yourself a favor and get on with your life without him. I was in a 10 year realtionship with a guy in a simular situation. I had the chance 7 times to just get out of it and I felt that he would change or I would and things would get better. They never do...believe it or not, there ARE other great men out there....do better for yourself. I am now divorced w/two kids, because I didn't take the chance. Learn from other people!! Look at it this way...you are both great people, just not meant for eachother.
2007-01-07 11:02:43 · answer #6 · answered by lulu13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is obviously going to be hard to hear but look at what you wrote: "he uses all his power to hurt my feelings and make me feel that he doesn't love me"
You seem to be addicted to this person. Don't ask why. Most people avoid people who hurt them.
You should avoid people who hurt you. Everyone will have the same answer: Lose the loser.
2007-01-07 11:00:25 · answer #7 · answered by snowexam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read very carefully: YOU CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE DO SOMETHING. You cannot control another person. The trust is there or it isn't. From your comments I think we both know there isn't any trust. Plus he obviously is mentally and emotionally abusing you. You have a choice, stay or leave. Take control of your life or let him control your life. You only have one life to live why don't you sit in the driver's seat and kick him to the curb!
2007-01-07 11:08:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot make a non trustful person trust you. Take a break, spend time with friends and doing things you like. Let him work out his issues on his own. You just may find out you don't need him after all.
2007-01-07 10:59:29 · answer #9 · answered by bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One it sounds like you made him feel that it was ok or you like getting your feelings hurt. It' also sounds like you really love him. I believe men are sometimes more scared of getting hurt then us women. I would tell you to sit down and put your foot DOWN. Let him know exaclty how you feel for him. And let him know how imoportant it is to you to know how he feels. Either he love you or he don't and don't waste anyone of your time thinking about ASK. And you need to pray and ask God to show you the right way.
2007-01-07 11:07:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋