Lied to bf about my past?

Question

I feel very bad. Last night my bf of 3 months and I were chatting about our past work experiences. He has had many great job oppurtunities around the world. For some reason I felt like I had to lie about mine to impress him. I told him I worked in Europe for awhile when in fact I was only in Europe for a 2 week vacation. It is not a major lie but, I feel very guilty. I am very serious about this guy and do not want to start our relationship off this way. Should I just tell him I lied or does it even matter?

Answer 1

Yes you should tell him that you lied because a lie is still a lie regardless of how "small" or "insignificant" you think it is.

Answer 2

I think the real issue is why you lied to him in the first place. Why do you feel you have to impress him? So he has had some great opportunities- that doesn't make your accomplishments or goals any less significant. I think you need to tell him- you might not think it's a big deal now, but what if he inquires further about your "job" later on? If you don't have honesty in a relationship, especially if you're serious about guy, you're doomed from the start. He will probably be pissed, but then maybe steer the conversation into WHY you said it in the first place- something like "I felt I had to tell you that because...."

Good luck! If he loves you, you will be fine.

Answer 3

It's good you're feeling bad as it's a sign that your conscious is working. I empathize with your need to impress but it really is getting things off on the wrong foot if you're lying to him this early on (yet late enough that you should feel OK about being honest). As hard as it will be, I would tell him now, because it will likely come up again and you'll slip because you'll have forgotten your lie. Just say, "Hey, John (or whatever his name is), this was really silly of me but when we were talking about or work history, some of your jobs sounded really impressive and I guess I was feeling a little insecure and so to measure up, I exaggerated about a two week vacation I had in Europe. I haven't had an opportunity to work there but I did vacation there. I'm sorry I let my insecurities get the best of me and it's important that to me that I'm honest with you." -- or something to that effect.

I think he will both understand your actions and appreciate your candid and honest confession.

Answer 4

You are correct to say that it is not a major lie but it does not discount the fact that it is still a lie. It should be a priority of yours to get this sorted or corrected. Just think of a scenario wherein he would introduce you to a friend of his or a relative as someone who worked in Europe as well, and if that friend or relative asks you a question about it... Only two things could happen... its either you would make another lie or be caught with your little lie right then and there. And that would be a very awkward situation for your boyfriend and you. If you really like him and would like to spend the rest of your life with him... set it straight as early as now. It will be ok... clearing it out might be a bitter pill to swallow in order to avoid repercussions in the future.

Answer 5

Stop lying. The next time this comes up, just correct it. Say something like, "I'm sorry, I must have misspoke. I meant that I stayed in Europe for a while. I was only working at having a good time." Then laugh it off. If it's the only time you have lie, it probably won't be a big thing. If lying becomes a pattern, there is a big issue.

Answer 6

Well you were in Europe that was true and you walked around a lot that was hard work. Just don't bring it up again You can make a lie real in your head to not feel guilty. If he asks next time just say eh it was nothing much just sold a and traded some things.

Answer 7

Lies always come back to bite you in the @ss. You should tell him you wanted to impress him so you lied...tell him the truth. Hopefully he won't think it's a big deal since your correcting the situation early.

Never lie about your past...you're not the same person as him, so your experiences are different. Never be ashamed of your experiences or feel you need to match his. Good Luck!

Answer 8

It might be good to tell him that you lied but maybe wait for some time since it will not hurt as much if you tell him later. Give it a month. It will mean much less then.

But what if he finds out that you lied before you tell him? Maybe you should show him this question that you wrote. But after that, no more screw-ups miss.

I have found that for some crazy reason, women tend to mess up relationships when they are with guys who love them to death. Don't be like that.

Anyway, give it time, tell him the truth and then give him a good shag.

Answer 9

be straight up with him.
sit down together.
speak softly.
tell him how you feel about him, and that you were only trying to impress him. tell him how bad you feel. and- most importantly- tell him, looking him in the eye, that you won't do it again.
remember, he's a human.
he'll listen.

if you tell the truth, this is what will happen to you:
- you will feel MUCH better
- he will either listen to it and accept it
or he will listen to it, accept it, but still doubt you a bit. you wil have to gain back his trust. (it's easier doing it than you think, trust me. all you have to do is be honest with him.)

if you don't, this is what will happen:
- in the immediate future, nothing will happen, except you will feel HORRIBLE
- a long time later, when you forget, it will slip out that you didn't work in europe, one way or another. he will feel worse not because you lied about working in Europe, but because you lied and kept a secret for so long.
it'll be harder to win back this trust then


- so, tell him now. i mean, i wouldn't care if my gf worked in europe or not. and if she lied and apologized, that would mean that she cared for me.

Answer 10

Don't tell him you lied. It will make you look a little crazy. People lie about jobs all the time. Hell, people lie about all kinds of things all the time just to impress others. Don't lie anymore because it just isn't worth trying to keep the lie up.

Answer 11

You've heard the old saying "it all comes out in the wash"? Well, it does. Eventually, you tell on yourself. You shouldn't have to lie about who you are. It sounds like he likes you and you don't have to lie, to keep in interested. If you tell him the truth, is up to you but, if you do then you need to talk to him about the fact you felt you needed to impress him. He will probably tell you that you don't have to impress him. Don't lie anymore. You always have to tell another lie, to cover up the lie you told. It becomes an endless web and eventually, you get caught.