Lately my boyfriend and i have had a rough patch. But we were just starting to get better. Then today was our 3 month aniversery (i no its not that big of a deal)but he offered to take me to a pretty nice italian resturant. but he doesn't call me at all, he told me we would go around 6. So i send him a text message at 5 saying that, "i can't stay out too late tonight because i have classes early tommorow." he replied saying, "theres only a place at 8 and im not sure if i can go, i have so much **** to do." i told him, "o ok, w/e do what u have to do." he then told me how he had to fix a broiler in bronx +he had a case study due tommorow. i didn't say nething and he said are you mad, i go no i just wish u hadn't made plans if u knew u had so much stuff to do. 15 minutes later he texts me back saying then next time he just won't make plans. I don't get why he always has to turn the situation around and make me the bad person... what should say back him?
2007-01-07 10:33:49 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey, this sounds familiar :). If he's saying that next time he won't make plans, then don't worry. It might actually be better that time. I was getting frustrated with my boyfriend months ago (probably in our fifth month or so) because he knew he had stuff to do but would make hopeful plans and tell me "Well maybe we can do this..." but then he wouldn't have time after I got all excited to go out somewhere or spend time together. You've told him not to make plans if he knows he has stuff to do, so hopefully now he won't. Try to set up a date well in advanced... ask him what night will be good for him and make sure he keeps it open. Three months is still pretty good... it means you're past the "infatuation" stage. Just let him work out what he has to do and when he's done he'll be a lot less stressed and easier for you to talk to. Try talking to him instead of sending text messages too because sometimes things are missunderstood because they might hear it a different way in their head than you're actually saying it. For example, "Ok FINE. Go do whatever." vs. "Alright, that's cool :) see you later" Get what I mean?
I really hope this might help. Best of luck anyway <3.
2007-01-07 10:42:01 · answer #1 · answered by Pyrai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he's probably frustrated because he felt like he was trying his best and it wasn't good enough. Explain that you really appreciated his attempt and that you can just reschedule the dinner date. Even if it isn't on THAT day, it would still be nice. I mean, he tried, and that's all that matters. He was trying to be thoughtful and wanted to do something for you even though it was difficult with all the other things he had to do. Just sympathize with him and say, "Thank you for trying, I really appreciate it...Maybe we could reschedule it for a less busy day." If you avoid stress and conflict, your relationship will be more enjoyable and longer.
Good Luck
2007-01-07 18:43:52 · answer #2 · answered by Captain Oblivious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way you are right he shouldn't make plans if he has alot to do. He should make plans when he is done. But he is just trying to impress you and make things as good as he can. just cut him a little slack. He is trying.
2007-01-07 18:39:20 · answer #3 · answered by romeo3448 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my boyfriend does that to me all the time and we have been dating 5 months.. finally i just flipped on him and told him everything that i felt.. and he hasnt done it since.. talk to him.. make him listen.. tell him exactly what you feel and if you have to threaten him.. thats what i did. it worked wonders. but everyone is different.
2007-01-07 18:38:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should tell him that when he has time for you, you may not have time for him. Find someone who does have time for you.
2007-01-07 18:40:08 · answer #5 · answered by Taquino3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋