We're in a long distance relationship (2 hours) at different schools. Since I've been away from her for this past year she has developed a friendship with a guy, who she is closer too by far than any of her girlfriends. They go to the mall together, go to the movies together, go to eat together, hang out all the time together, but still insists that he is just a good friend of her's. She did admit however that last semester, when we were going through a rough period in our relationship, they did hook up and she did cheat on me with him, but has guaranteed that was the only time and now that we're on good terms she would never think of it again. However with them being so close to each other, and me being so far away, and her obviously having a relationship with him that looks to be more that just friends, I am concerned about what she is doing behind my back and what she knows I have no way of finding out. How would you handle this, and would you let her go if you were in my shoe
2007-01-07 10:26:05 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have male friends that are JUST friends but if you are worried about her cheating with him again I'd share that concern with her and then see if the relationship between them changes. What does or doesn't happen after that could tell you a lot about your relationship.
2007-01-07 10:29:07 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
DUDE!!!! OPEN YOUR EYES!!!! She is almost throwing it in your face. The facts are there...you wrote all of them in your question already.
Distance: you far, him close
Potential: He already SEEMS like more than a friend
History: She has ALREADY slept with him once while you were together.
Stop wasting your time on this one, brah! She's stringing you along because she obviously still has a little feeling for you, but she's getting her cake and eating it too because she has the other dude right there. You're just the "insurance policy" to make sure that she doesn't end up totally alone if something goes sour with the "friend."
You obviously have strong feelings for her, but I would venture to say that hers don't equal yours. If you haven't already told her that the situation bothers you...DO SO IMMEDIATELY. Do NOT give her an ultimatum to stop hanging out with him though. Simply express to her very rationally that you don't think that it is in the best interest of your relationship for her to continue having ANY contact with him. If the situation were reversed you can be sure that she would tell you the same thing. I can't stress enough though...DO NOT "ORDER" her to stop seeing him. TELL her that it bothers you and then wait and see what she does. If you tell her that and it starts an argument, you are already fighting a losing battle. If she is receptive and tells you that she will stop hanging out with him...that's a good sign. However, you already pointed out that you can't ensure that anyway because of the distance. If she cares about you, she will respect your opinion and take appropriate action. If she continues to hang out with him...you should already know your next course of action...let her go.
By the way...I hate suggesting this, but in order to ensure whether she stopped hanging out with him or not, you may need to enlist the help of a "mole" who is close enough to observe her actions that you aren't able to see.
Hope this helped
2007-01-07 10:39:37 · answer #2 · answered by iipiki_okami 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she really cared for you, she wouldnt have cheated on you in the first place. I know it sounds cliche, but once a cheater always a cheater. And someone like that is not worth keeping. The only good thing about this is that she was at least honest and told you about it. If I were in your shoes, Id leave. Theres no way I could stand being with someone who I couldnt trust. Relatioships are all about communication, trust, and sacrifices. Whatever you choose, I hope makes you happy. Best of luck ☺♥
2007-01-07 10:31:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anna Nemyss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she cheated on you once that would be reason enough to me for you to break up with her. I wouldn't trust this situation AT ALL. Once a cheater always a cheater. And obviously those feeling are there between them or they wouldn't have hooked up in the first place.
2007-01-07 10:30:06 · answer #4 · answered by Frannie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea.. i'd advise u to let her go. if she cheated on u once, their's a pretty big chance of her cheating on u the 2nd time. find another girl that's better closer to u, so u can keep an eye on her ;)
2007-01-07 10:28:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is very honest and trustworthy, then reward her with your trust. If she is always lying or doing anything to betray your trust, then she isn't worth it. Good luck!!
2007-01-07 10:31:41 · answer #6 · answered by Captain Oblivious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she slept with him once she will again. cheaters never change find a new girlwho doesnt cheat
2007-01-07 10:29:46 · answer #7 · answered by Catie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe, you should find yourself a close female friend. See how your gf handles that!! :-)
2007-01-07 10:30:26 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♥♥GODDESS♥♥♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should keep trying. If she was honest that she was cheating, try to trust her now.
2007-01-07 10:28:50 · answer #9 · answered by XXyeaaboiiiXX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES
IF THEYVE MESSED AROUND B 4, THEY'LL DO IT AGAIN
AND WHATS JUST AS WORSE FOR THE OTHER GUY IS THAT IF SHE'S CHEATED WITH HIM; SHE'LL CHEAT ON HIM..
2007-01-07 10:29:12 · answer #10 · answered by SHORTY38 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋