How should i deal with his flirting?

Question

I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years. I care for dude but i dont feel like im IN love with him. If we were to break up i would want him in my life as a big brother type but i know that wont happen becuz he says if i leave him he will look all over for me and it wont be hard because i have a social security number. He flirts all the time and i dont say anything because i dunno what to say. I have been out of state for 6 days visitng family and he already got 3 numbers (prolly more but thats all he told me of) i cant take his flirting but i never know what to say. The only thing i can think of is to get him mad by flirting to but im too timid for that, i dont like the extra attention. You can read my last 2 question and sort of get a background on our issues. I know every1 is gonna say dump him but id rather he dump me! i would love to start my "love" life over i have a feeling if i stay with him ill regret not living and learning and experiencing other relationships HELP

Answer 1

You can start flirting, be a total pain or be a grown up and leave. Just because you have a social security number doesn't mean he'll be able to find you if you want to not be found. This may not be a situation when you get everything you want. If he has feelings for you that are stronger than yours are obviously for him then he won't want to be your friend. Save yourself more time and stress and just bounce.

Answer 2

I understand your dilemma here to some extent. The obvious answer is to leave him, but I understand why that's exceedingly difficult sometimes. I don't think it's a good idea to start flirting back just to piss him off: juvenile head games are never something to stoop to. Instead, just be up front about it. Tell him, if he really is all that committed to you that he'd look everywhere for you if you left that he needs to stop flirting with other women. That if he really wants to stay with you that badly, that needs to change. That way the ball is in his court. If he really cares enough, he'll stop, and if he doesn't, he'll leave. Or, in the worst case, if he just flat out ignores you, that may be enough of an impetus/justification that you can leave without as much regret/guilt/emotional trauma.

Answer 3

If you're not in love with him then you need to be the one to move on. Don't wast more of your precious time. You are not going to get back those 4 years. And you probably won't get back what you liked about him in the first place either. So, this is defeating both of you, this staying together thing. In parting, I'd cite the flirtation as part of something you are choosing to longer accept from a mate.

Answer 4

I am sorry, but he obviously does not care about you. Next time he flirts tell him you will not deal with him doing that anymore.
Be firm
Be confident
He may think you are to shy and he can prance around doing anything he wants because you won't do anything about it. He may be dating you because he knows other girls will not put up with him.
If you show you're putting your foot down he might ditch you. If not... you'll have to do it. OR you're 100% right you WILL fully regret it!!! Be simple and short: "I cannot deal with this, we are finished."
DO NOT BE A PUSHOVER!
Find a guy that respects you!
Good Luck!!! That loser does not deserve you (make sure he knows that!)

Answer 5

It sounds like it's time for you to move on.

Answer 6

start flirting too. see how he likes it. mayb he'll stop, or maybe he won't. if not, just move on. He can't make up his mind

Answer 7

Do the same thing to him that he is doing to you...... Two can play at that game!!!

Answer 8

YOU DON'T DEAL WITH FLIRTING....

ITS ANOTHER WORD FOR FISHIN AROUND FOR SOMETHING ELSE..

BREAK UP WITH HIM...

FIND SOME ONE WHO MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF