Spanking vs. Other types of discipline?

Question

Okay. All the people that insulted me on the last board don't bother to post. I was all for smacking your kids. I was raised being not just smacked having my *** beat. The only smacking I would ever do to my child was a few smacks on the hand. I am hearing my step mom ***** about it and even though I hate her I am considering what she said. I would like to here both sides and no insults and saying "it's abuse" because it is not.

There was this one lady at our church who had 4 kids. She was against spankings and try to gang up on anyone who used them. Anyway her kids jumped on people. Picked on people's infants. Screamed like maniacs. One day the church mother got sick of it all. She made them come back in the office. Picked up a belt and beat all their #$%'$ to the floor. They have not disturbed anyone since.

Answer 1

I believe in spanking when it is needed. I do not believe in time outs! They don't work and to me it is a joke. I also believe in taking toys ( son is 3) away too! When all else falls spanking works. I will spank until they are around 15. Then I will do something else. Grounding is very good too!

Answer 2

Spanking is an outstanding and highly effective form of discipline. When I was growing up, I was spanked over the knee with a wooden spoon - very effective! I spank my own kids now as well - also very effective! In each case (given and received) the spanking was not a beating, although the point was made clear and a bottom was left a little sore, but always done with love.

Answer 3

There is a huge difference between spanking a child and beating them. Sometimes a good firm swat or two is a necessary thing, but the older a child gets, the less effective a spanking is. Things like grounding and taking away priviliges and electronics works much better with older kids.

Answer 4

even as i in my opinion recommend the occasional spanking, i imagine there are some sure limits. i does not spank in both of the first circumstances you gave above. merely gently thumping slightly ones hand is sufficient. Ignoring mood tantrums is all you may do or they receives worse. I easily have spanked my older little ones even as they were instructed persistently now to not run onto a hectic street or in the front of a transferring vehicle. If the baby is sufficiently previous and has been instructed various cases, they ought to comprehend it truly is amazingly risky. it truly is what spankings are for. Being hit & killed is a few distance worse than some burned hands. BTW, that challenge is in all likelihood really one in each of a few were the spanking change into for the skill of something, quite than a finished action (like pushing toddler sister down the steps). I easily have considered some cases the position childrens who were in no way bodily punished specially used violence hostile to their mothers and fathers b/c they knew the mothers and fathers does not do something like that lower back. inspite of the indisputable fact that, I dont imagine thats consistently real or the different might want to be real. the real challenge with spanking is that maximum human beings are, and are merely wonderful. you may't reason with a small baby, and as they become older they prefer to comprehend that usually punishments can contain actual discomfort. the priority with spanking is that alot of folk MISUSE it or ABUSE it. there is a few sure limits to even as, how, why, quantity, and technique for spanking. yet spanking change into in no way meant to be the really discipline. it truly is meant to be blended with time-outs, decal-charts, rewards, groundings, privileges or elimination, speaking, hard work, etc. Spanking for something and each little thing, even as not following by on the little stuff is merely unnecessary. Spanking might want to consistently be the merely good hotel, when you've tried different issues

Answer 5

If you spank a child or hit a child out of anger, that child will eventually see this as a way to cope. Many children will also end up copying what they see and doing it to others. I don't necessarily feel that spanking is wrong....I remember being spanked only once, when I ran into the street as a little child. Let me tell you, I never did it again, and my dad did it out of concern for my safety as opposed to anger...I was never hit or spanked during a time when anger was the prevailing emotion and I wouldn't be able to do that to my child.
I think that time out is a better option, and using behavior charts where you take away a child's priveledges and reward them if they do the right things. For instance...take away video games or tv time or a play outing with friends for bad behavior....take on an extra outing of your child's choice for good behavior. It's important to let a child see that actions have consequences and that they need to be responsible as they are growing.

Answer 6

I tried corporal punishment with my kids, all it did was cause them to fear me. It does have a lasting affect and I do think that your kids should fear you a little bit. The main problem with smacking your kid is it is usually an impulsive thing and a release for the parent. I have to be more forceful with my boy, but that is normal. All the wife has to do is get the wooden ladle out of the drawer and he straightens right up. The thing has never touched him.

It works for some kids, others not.

Answer 7

Hitting a child is not an effective form of discipline it only creates fear in the child and is a quick fix instead of creatively disciplining. Hitting a child teaches the child that violence is an accepted form of self expression and way to cope when angry. Research other ways to discipline and teach a child without using hitting, Good luck.

Answer 8

Research shows that spanking does not provide any effective long-term discipline, especially if the spanking is not accompanied or followed with some explanation or discussion of why the child's behavior was not acceptable. Spanking leaves children feeling ashamed (resulting in lower self esteem) and powerless, feelings which they may want to express in negative ways later.

Answer 9

I tell you what.. back in my day, we got the belt, the paddle, the hand.. and it stung. Screw Super Nanny (not in the literal sense, cause that's just ewwwwwwwwwwww), it's faster and more efficient to whoop your kids then to sit them down for '5 wee minutes in the bad corner'. Of course you're kids will cry and say they hate you, but they don't.. All you have to do as a parent is walk in, say I'm sorry but you were.. blah blah.. and acting all blah. After you apologize you ask "do you still love me" and of course because of that dam foresaken guilt they will reply yes and it'll be all good.. trust me, I had evil parents!

Answer 10

I never had needed to spank my kids because I've found other types of discipline to be much, much more effective. My boys aren't perfect, but they are gentle and kind. They never hurt themselves or other people. It takes a lot of work to raise good kids, but it's certainly worth it. The fact that you're asking about this is a great sign. I hope you try not spanking and use some of these techniques instead.
1. Be firm and be kind.
A child is more likely to hear what you're saying if you use a neutral tone.

2. Pause.
There's nothing wrong with saying, "I'm too angry to deal with this now. We'll talk about it later."

3. Teach your kids.
Instead of punishing a child for misbehaving, think in terms of teaching him to behave. "I don't like it when you leave your skateboard in the front hall. Next time, please put it in the mudroom. How can I help you remember?"

4. Be positive.
Instead of saying, "How many times do I need to ask you to brush your teeth?" Say, "Go brush your teeth and let me know when you've finished so I can tuck you in."

5. Give explanations, not threats.
By giving your child a brief explanation of why she needs to do as she's told, you give her a reason to behave.

6. Refuse to get angry.
Instead of focusing on your child's misbehavior and working yourself into a lather, think of each conflict as an opportunity to guide and direct your child.

7. Give incentives.
Inspire your child to cooperate with phrases like, "It's time to go. Why don't you go down the slide one more time and then let's hustle. I want to get home in time to make cookies."

8. Be flexible.
If your little one asks, "Can I just finish watching this show before we go?" be reasonable. If you have the time to spare, make room for your child's requests. This is a great way for kids to learn about the art of negotiation.

9. Drop out of power struggles.
Nothing is as frustrating or less productive as having a showdown with your little one. Invite your child to cooperate by saying something like, "I've got a problem. I want you to wear a clean shirt and you insist on wearing the same old one every day. How can we solve this problem?" Your child is more likely to cooperate if he comes up with the solution.

10. Be smart.
Parents will often deal with problems in a set manner, even if their approach isn't helping. If what you're doing isn't working, find a more effective way to handle the problem. Tip: It's much easier to change your approach than it is to change your child. Ask yourself, "What can I do differently that will inspire a better reaction from my child?"

TIP: Remember these three important rules about punishment:

Don't assign a punishment when you're angry
Don't use punishment as revenge.
A more severe punishment is not necessarily a better one