screaming fit throwing monster!!!! He has spent the better part of the past month, Screaming at the top of his lungs almost all day! Is this the 'Terrible 2's'? What can I do to make this STOP! (He's 20 months old) and I'm about at my wits end, With him and a 7 week old daughter to care for...He literally stands at my feet, jumping up and down and screaming at the top of his lungs, And he wants me to hold him CONSTANTLY!
2007-01-07 10:10:37 · 20 answers · asked by ? 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I really symphathize with you, this is a really difficult time. Your son feels "replaced" by your daughter - he's jealous. There is no sure and quick fix for this, it's very normal and common. Try spending time doing things with your son when your daughter is asleep. I know you'll want to clean or catch a nap yourself while your daughter is asleep, but your son wants your undivided attention for a few minutes and this is a good opportunity.
Also be careful of "negative attention". If your son wants your attention badly enough, he'll do anything to get it. Including aggravating you to the point where you yell at him, or punish him. The idea being that even though your yelling, your undivided attention is on him. It sounds crazy, but little kids do it all the time.
So if he starts throwing a fit etc. IGNORE HIM. Explain to him once that his behavior is unacceptable and you will be more than happy to talk to him once he calms down etc. Then stick with it, ignore his screaming etc. It will get worse before it gets better. He will get destructive (throwing toys is a favorite) so watch that he doesn't hurt himself. Then when he calms down, reward him with some of your attention. Catch him being good, and reward him. Tell him how much you love him and appreciate it when he lets you get things down around the house etc. Also give him "jobs" around the house so that he feels included
Good luck
2007-01-07 10:22:46 · answer #1 · answered by schoolgirl27 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At the terrible twos and a new baby to deal with? If I were him , Id probably scream too. That's alot for a little guy.
Check with your doctor to make sure its not a developmental problem (kids with speech/language, hearing, or sensory intergration issues often times scream out of frustration etc).
If its not that - its a normal part of growing up on top of now having to share you with the baby.
When my second child was born, my other son and I had a "date" once a week where we spent time together just us. No baby, no phone, no cleaning.... just us.
If you are a singleparent this will be harder to do. But if you can find some special time to spend together I would suggest it. Also - see if you can involve him as much as possible with caring for the baby..... it is not so much that the baby took you away from him, but that he is a big boy and helps you out so much with the new baby.
If he wants you when you are doing something with the baby, make sure to acknowledge him and tell him WHEN you will be able to help him. "I know you want some juice, and as soon i as finish changing this dirty diaper, Ill help you get some". things like "in a minute" or "later" or "maybe" dont make alot of sense to a 2 year old and can feel like forever.
It sounds tough..... but the baby will require less of your time as it gets alittle older and the 2 year old will adjust.
Hang in there mom!
2007-01-07 10:21:35 · answer #2 · answered by boilerfanforever 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is not used to NOT having all the attention. AND it is the "terrible two's"
Find some time when he can have your undivided attention -- I know, I know --it is hard. Even if you just look at a picture book while the baby naps.
Give him something to do to help you. Hold a diaper for you when you change the baby. Hand you the baby powder. Tell him what a good big brother he is to help his mommy.
For the "terrible two's " try to give him choice between two alternatives that are both acceptable to you. For example, which cup do you want your milk in (show him two) ---- which shirt do you want ( again-two choices)
Do not offer him a choice if there is none. Do not say, "Do you want to eat lunch now?" "Are you ready for a nap?" unless you don't care if the answer is "NO!"
Give him a little warning when things are going to occur. " It is almost time for us to go to the store." And if he doesn't cooperate, just kind of move him along without arguing about it.
Good luck!
2007-01-07 12:10:45 · answer #3 · answered by Marilyn E 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being at his age is tough. Try to understand the way his mind works in order to get him to calm down. If there's a toy or blanket that he's really attached to, you can use that as incentive. Whenever he decides to get on your nerves, threaten him with the loss of his favorite thing. It could also be that he feels left out, and the 7 week old daughter is getting more attention than him. Give him an equal, if not bigger amount of attention. That will make him feel better about his sister being around. Offer an incentive to be with his sister as well. Find something he can help you with so he doesn't feel excluded.
2007-01-07 10:16:34 · answer #4 · answered by Royal Weirdo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can teach them not to have them. You can never make your child perfect...it will just make your child do it less. I learned this from a parenting class: The object of your childs tantrum is to get his way and to get your attention because he is not getting his way. To make him stop doing it, you have to make it so that the tantrums are not serving those purposes any more. First, dont give him what he wants after he throws a tantrum for it. Tell him "No, you cant have it because mommy said no and you are not being nice." Then take away the attention. Give him a time out spot and when he starts to throw a tantrum say "Uh-oh" and put him in the spot. Leave him there and ignore him no matter what for at least two minutes even if it is hard. When you are ready to let him out do not do so unless he stops screaming. Say "You can come out when you are nice.". This works on my 22 month old like a charm. It only happens once a day or so and then she just hears "Do you want time out." and stops.
2016-05-23 04:54:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the sounds of it he is jealous of the new baby. When the baby is not fussing, have some special time with your son. Do this as often as possible. He will calm down. It's hard, but try to keep your cool. He only knows that all of a sudden he isn't #1 anymore.
2007-01-07 14:37:07 · answer #6 · answered by offroadmolly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to get your attention away from your daughter. he is not use to sharing you. You need to find ways to let him know that you still have time for him - when he is not throwing a fit. You can try ignoring the fits and when he stops screaming then immediatly go over and see what you can do for him. It is not easy for him to share you. Good Luck!!
2007-01-07 10:32:12 · answer #7 · answered by pierronmom 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your answer lies within your statement. It is because there is a new baby in the house and he is feeling a little left out. Maybe include him in taking care of your new daughter. Have him help with changing diapers by letting him get the supplies. Sit on your bed to change her and let him sit beside you and help with fastening the diaper. Let him help a little with everything. Tell him that he is such a wonderful helper and that he is being such a big boy and a great brother. Encourage him. He will tantrum less, I promise!
2007-01-07 10:15:43 · answer #8 · answered by †♥mslamom♥† 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
He is probably jealous of the younger child, because he has gone from being the center of attention, to second in line for a lot of things. He'll have to get used to it. But small children also have times when they just like to throw fits and be ornery.
2007-01-07 10:27:47 · answer #9 · answered by Gramma 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i think he's feeling jealous of the new baby, it is perfectly normal, i have 4 children and the same thing happened each time a new baby was born. He has had you all to himself for so long, he was your number 1 priority and all of a sudden he has to share you, no-one asked him if he wanted to share his mummy. Children don't cope well with a change in their routine, i think all you can do is try to explain (but might be difficult for his age) that he's still special to you, maybe make a special time of each day that is for him ONLY, have your partner or someone care for the baby for 1 hour and make that your special time, this will make him feel more secure knowing that even if mummy's too busy with the baby right now that soon i will have her all to myself...Good luck to you, hang in there, it is difficult but it will be so worth it.
2007-01-07 10:18:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋