My sister recently has decided to marry a man due to the fact of a one night stand where he somehow got her pregnant. Now that she is due very soon, do you think I should support her through this time or should I stick with my morals and leave them to face with the error they made when they decided to go ahead and engage in promiscuity?
2007-01-07 10:09:18 · 29 answers · asked by Grunhilda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You have to support her. She needs you right now. By supporting her, you are not taking her sins on as your own. WWJD??
Be there for her. You'll need her one day, and I hope she'll be there for you too.
Good luck!
And congratulations on the new baby!
However conceived, he/she will be precious!
2007-01-07 10:12:52 · answer #1 · answered by Josi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should support her. You can disagree with the decision that she has made, I am sure she already knows this.
You love her and want the best for her. She has made a decision that you do not agree with and more than likely will do it again at some point. You will also make decisions that she will not agree with.
The point is we can Love without agreeing with anothers choices.
A good middle ground would be to attend the wedding, but not be a part of the ceremony itself. You would have to tell her this in a loving manner, certainly not from a high moral ground.
Something to the effect of, I love you and will attend your wedding, however I cannot be a part of what seems to be a huge mistake, at least right now.
Something to consider for the future, many marriages begin in this manner, People have sex and then get married because of pregnancy. If your sister and this man are committed to making this situation work, then you should support that decision.
If they are simply marrying with the thought that if it does not work out, they can get divorced, then you should go with the original advise that I wrote.
It all depends on why they made this decision, and if you do not know, by all means ask her.
2007-01-07 10:19:13 · answer #2 · answered by cindy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are her sister first and foremost. Although you know that deep down inside you may be right you have to support her, show her that you will be her sister and not another family member. I had a situation that was recently the same and my sister doesnt agree with me. But she always reminded me that she was there. If something does go wrong, you can be there as you should be. Just like if if the time comes that you need her she probably be there for you. Just remember no one like to be reminded by " I told you so" instead they just want a shoulder to cry on. Id like to think that my sister and i are close and if anything should happen we would be there for each other. Honestly, if something bad were ever to happen at least she would know she can come to you.
2007-01-07 15:48:45 · answer #3 · answered by Mel N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In response to answerer number one, of COURSE women can get pregnant the first time.
Yes, your sister made bad choices. And the day she marries the father of her child, she will have done her best to repair those errors and do things the right way. So, you go to the wedding and offer your support then. However, too many of these situations end up in the parents of the child being 'engaged' for a year or two, then breaking up. That you cannot support.
2007-01-07 10:13:58 · answer #4 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a tough one.
You really don't want to miss out on your little niece or nephew coming into this world. You and that child are family regardless of how he/she was conceived! And your sister really needs you during such a big event in her life. And that's what sisters are for, to share life's experiences with. Though, I do understand your feelings and reluctance to show support or approval of a marriage devised out of bad choices. But you know, it's not harming you or endangering your mental health, it's tough to watch but really you'll be okay through all of it. Consider what's worth fighting for and if you staying away from her will really change what has already happened.
And also remember right now you have a choice as to whether or not to be around her but there will be a day when that choice is gone. Do what counts in life while you have the blessing to do so.
2007-01-07 10:39:06 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A women CAN get pg the 1st time. You can stand by your sister and help out with the baby but at the same time let her know marriage is wrong just for the baby. Being married means you love the person and want to truley spend the rest of your life with this person. You dont have to like the guy and this will be your sisters choice but let her know that you will be there for her and the baby
2007-01-07 10:14:33 · answer #6 · answered by workit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let her know where you stand: in the middle
Don't sacrifise your own morals, but realize that your sister has morals to- those of letting her baby have a daddy and married parents.
You need to talk to her && get her point of view, so you can tell her yours, after clearly understanding everything she has to say make a better decision.
If you are still disagree, understand that she will do this anyways without you. I personaly agree with you, but if you love your sister let her know that you will still be there for her.
She needs you. This may be difficult for her, just help her and talk to her, making sure she knows you still disagree.
I am sorry for not giving a clear "yes or no". But families need more that a one syllable word. Good luck.
2007-01-07 10:19:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should always support your sister. She desperately needs your help now. I do not think she should marry this man. He does not love her and vice versa. Could the 2 of you live on your own and help her with the baby? I just think he should get out of the picture. He will never love her or the baby and will very soon resent her and the baby for confining him and making his life miserable. Somehow you and your sister must make it on your own, is there any other family to help you 2 soon to be 3?
2007-01-07 10:13:57 · answer #8 · answered by minion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont get me wrong when I say that you should try to help her because I think that you should support your sis no matter what. But it seems like she got herself in a bit of a pickle. ok so tell her that ( if she has nothing egainst it) she might condider having an abortion if this guy treats her bad and beats her or something like that. But to tell you the truth if there's ntohing extremely wrong with him I think that she should go ahead and marry him because of the baby. I say this because I think she needs to pay for her mistakes....i know that sounds extremely mean but i mean...what can I say, if it's already going to happen what are you gonna do bout it ya know? I'm so sorry and Good luck Girl
Love yaz!
Winter
2007-01-07 10:18:45 · answer #9 · answered by Winter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have are down falls. How would we grow and learn without them. Support your sister emotionally. Espescially with all her hormones imbalanced, not to mention how many women experience post-partum depression. Which often can be triggered by just the hormone imbalance and stress alone. I'm sure your sister is well aware of how she got herself in such a predictament..Do you really think now is the time to jump on the band wagon?
2007-01-07 10:22:20 · answer #10 · answered by CARAMIA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As hard as this might sound.. You should support your sister through this time... And she made a mistake and everyone does.. and if no one made a mistake they wouldnt be human. You should talk to her and tell her what you think that she should do... ask her if he's the man that will be there for her for the rest of her life....
~ hope this helps
2007-01-07 10:50:45 · answer #11 · answered by Patel N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋