how to get your children to do as you ask sometimes?

Question

i dont believe in smacking but i would like my children to do what ask sometimes without having to ask about ten times. my children are 5 ,2 and 6months.i see other people with their model children when out. please if youve got the secret of their success please share it with me. cheers Jan

Answer 1

Honey, the chances are that the little angels you see out and about are little devils at home, and their parents are equally as frustrated.
Your children are young, the two year old especially, and are still trying to gain attention that comes from ignoring you.
Instead of punishing and yelling at them when they haven't done as you asked, don't make anything of it. Praise them and make a fuss when they do what is right, and they will enjoy the nice attention, and want to please you more often...
....well, that's my theory anyway...

Answer 2

Children develop the ability to concentrate as they grow older. It might help to read some basic stuff on child development.

When you are having a hard time with your children it's all too easy to look at other people's children and marvel at how wonderfully they are behaving. I'll bet if you ask the parents they'd tell you differently. There is a lot more I could say.

A good book to read is 'How to say no and mean it' (2003) by Karen Sullivan. It's about much more than just saying no.

I don't believe in smacking either. I have two small children, aged five and two. They're not angels but I have established rules and boundaries. These seem to work. Hitting an adult is an offence, as it should be with children.

Best of luck and don't be too hard on yourself.

Answer 3

6 month olds and 2 year olds are just finding out how far they can go do not expect them to do as you ask straight away they are not in the army they are children! Super nanny has good ideas and also the book TODDLER TAMING is excellent. Model children are most probably being bribed with sweets or something and children will play up when they are bored (such as in the supermarket) so you dont ever take them there again! Just accept that the little ones need telling a few times and try to be patient and dont shout (easier said than done!) remember when you say "get your shoes on we need to go in a minute" they dont understand what a minute is and it might as well be next week so try not to get too cross. With the 5 year old sticker charts time out naughtystep and taking away favourite things such as a toy or sweets works wonders. good luck

Answer 4

Show them there are consequences if they dont do as you ask e.g. naughty step, no treats etc. Importantly, you must follow through and be consistent every time. Empty threats will not be respected, even by a 2 year old. I think you should let the 6 month baby off for now tho!!

no need to smack, just be firm, fair and consistent

Answer 5

Set up boundaries and consequences for your children.

That means both rewarding good behaviour and removing privileges for bad behaviour. You know them best as the parent and you know what can be used as "currency" for your child. Do they like to stay up late? Then that's your currency. If they are bad they go to bed earlier. If they are good they can stay up until bedtime or perhaps a bit later. Do they have a favourite toy, video game or tv show? Same idea. Are they looking forward to a play date or birthday party for a friend? Same idea. Maybe set up a board they can look at to see how they are doing through the week. Give points for good behaviour and take away points for bad behaviour.

The trick is CONSISTENT follow-through on these consequences all the time so that your kids know to take your word seriously!

Good luck!

Answer 6

You have to set boundaries for your children so that they know what is acceptable and what is not. Also, you cannot do it just one day, it has to be the same all the time. It is good that your children are still very young, let them learn the meaning of punishment. Reward the good behavior and punish the undesirable behavior.

I don't like the idea of hitting either, but I have seen some children who are in need of a good slap on the butt every now and then. It all depends on your children and their behaivor.

Don't be their friend, be their parent and guide them with love.

Good luck to you.

Answer 7

I would say the techniques previously mentioned might only work for the 6 year old and perhaps the 3 year old to a limited effect.

With the eldest, ask her if she does what her school teacher tells her on first request? Then ask her why soe doesnt do as you ask on first request.

Do the 'count to 3' then withdraw certain privilages and follow them through. No threats, actions only.

Try sticker/reward charts as well and the naughty chair of course.

Answer 8

I think it's all in how you ask someone. If your kid isn't listening ,then obviously there has to some kind of consequence. The counting thing works pretty good, and sometimes the time outs work well too. It really all depends on what works best for your kids. But whatever you find that works, I would say you have to be consistent.

Answer 9

Set the boundaries and don't give in. Naughty step, time out, taking away a priveledge, grounding, etc. (you have to find what works best for you and your children)...no matter what the punishment be consistent no matter how tired or frustrated cause then they'll know how far you can be pushed and that they can get what they want if they push enough!
Good Luck! :)

Answer 10

You just need to be consistent with them.

When they act up leave what ever you are doing. The two and 6 month old are young but the 5 year old will learn.

Mine did.

I also have a talk with them before we go anywhere. They like to go out with me and don't want to get left at home with daddy or another relative when I run my errands.

Another thing I do is when they act up I take away one of their favorite things or pass times for a week. They don't like that to much so I can usually say "Can I have your Gameboy for a week?" And they behave better.

Good luck.

It's a learning process.

I'm still learning new things.