Ok I broke up with my boyfriend last week. We lived together for almost 3 years now but he's really been messing up. So I moved out. But usually when we break up I always end up going back. This time I don't want to. It seems like he want to be the best when I leave. What to do. I miss having some one to cuddle with and all that good stuff.
2007-01-07 09:36:23 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OK. I guess the first question is do you love him? Forget the cuddles and the sex which you crave (I've been there after a break up and missing the emotional connection can be hard). If you think that there is truly a chance he could become the man you need and deserve, then put your cards on the table to him and tell him if he wants to keep you things have to change. So after that we have option number two. Stand up straight, brush yourself off and start with the rest of your life. OK you were with him for a reasonable amount of time, if it really is over in your mind then take all the good experiences and feelings and take them on to your next relationship. it can only make you a better person emotionally and that's always a good thing in a couple situation. Men are like buses, If your not after one, three show up. I think you know what I mean. Only you truly know what you want and after a bit of soul searching, I'm sure you'll reach the right decision. I hope this helps. Best Of Luck. Stay strong. x x x
2007-01-07 09:48:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man O Man I know how you feel!!! Start getting out more with family and friends to try and occupy your mind. Men always do their best when you leave so give him some time to reveal his true self and when he does just say,"I just need some space" Who can argue with that!!! Cuddle with a good book or a movie or an exotic adult toy!!! Good Luck. If you do go back and endure the same things one day you'll just get tired and it won't be on your mind anymore. Thats when you know you're finished.
2007-01-07 09:43:00 · answer #2 · answered by o'juiccy1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, its time for you to really get to know who are! What I am mean is are you ready to have a strong relationship? If you not, you can continue to play tag with him, but i advise you to be careful. If your heart is ready to be steady to grow a relationship with him, you have to decide rather he will be a good husband and father to your kids.
If you develop a family with him, you can't play these games when you have kids.Trust me they believe in their heart(s) that their parents have already made a solid commitment to each other, and there love for their parents is heavenly express. In other words they feel that their parents already got their act together.
When you go shopping for a pair of jeans, you will not take just whatever its there without knowing if you will happy with it. The same thing in a relationship. You know this guy more than anyone. I believe no body can give an answer in which you will be satisfied, because you're asking people to judge him according to what you had stated.
If you so much want a relationship to work with this guy, talk to God first!
2007-01-07 10:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants you back, and truly means it, then he will WORK for your trust and affections. You have to decide whether you want to continue to be treated as an after thought. For instance, he doesn't think of you before or during the times when he's messing up - only afterwards. You need to stand firm, and demand respect from him. Make him pick you up and date you - NO SEX. If you give in on that part - then what does he have to lose? You need to be independent, and let him know that you don't HAVE to have him in your life. Confidence and independence are sexy as hell to a man- and scary to a man if he thinks that he has blown his chance with the best thing that ever happened to him!!!! It took me filing for divorce years ago with one child and one on the way - then he stopped getting into trouble. I told him that I wouldn't live with him continuing to do things that hurt me.
2007-01-07 09:47:44 · answer #4 · answered by 2mom35 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your relationship is not healthy anymore. ive seen his type before. he's only willing to change when you leave. but once you come back he goes back to being his old self. this time, dont go back! i hate to say it but things will never change! if you return, the same thing will happen. why? it's a pattern already. its happened before. he knows that all he needs is to promise to be better and you'll go back to him. Dont!! he may care about you but he doesnt have enough will power to change. and he never will. i suggest you let it go. as much as you may miss cuddling with him, you have to realize that the relationship has no future. it'll only bring you pain. break out of that conformist pattern! only then you'll be able to free yourself and find someone that will make you truly happy.
2007-01-07 09:49:45 · answer #5 · answered by ursNonlyUrs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Throw yourself into going out. look gorgeous and enjoy the attention from other men. Im sure that when you ignore him and meet new people you will move on. Try and make 2007 a fresh start for you with a fresh man or even new friends.
2007-01-07 09:41:55 · answer #6 · answered by vickicraig86@btinternet.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just b/c you miss someone to cuddle with doesn't mean you have to keep going back to him. he needs to realize that he has lost a very good thing and you need to realize that you can't keep living in the past with him. move on b/c chances are there is someone better waiting on the other side.
2007-01-07 09:41:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its always hard when this happens. as i rule i never go back either & sometimes it was a good idea others it wasn,t but hey, u live & learn as they say. its all a learning process & the easiest way not to go back is to cut off all communication with him, & that means e mail, txt messages the lot. he,ll get the picture after a week or two. good luck in 2007 & this means its all a new beginning for you
2007-01-07 09:40:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop thinking of the good times, and think of the bad, and if its that bad, do you want to go back?? Answer is no, well now, let mr "im perfect when you leave" go!! Write down the good points and the bad points of the relationship. im sure the bad will outweigh the good, now every time you find your mind drifting off, look at this list smile, and think to yourself. I deserve to be treated better than that!! You will get over him. if it has failed before, it will fail again....if you usually break up...........theres your sign!!!!
2007-01-07 09:42:07 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, move away. Far, far away. Then learn to become you're own best friend so you won't need someone. This will free you up to choose objectively rather than choose due to a need to "cuddle" or some other not cool reason.
2007-01-07 09:41:56 · answer #10 · answered by Don S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋