Dose anyone else hate there mother in law?

Question

I have been ill mental health wise for a while ( derpression+social promblems)
and she always goes on at me to get a job saying i could and etc, even tho i cant becuase i find it hard to go out the front door but i am getting treatment, she is real horrible about it sometimes.
do you have a mother in law like that how do you handle her?

Answer 1

I had depression too and she sounds like the LAST thing you need. You know, people like her only go on and on and on like this because we allow them to. It's doubly difficult to stand up to people when you are feeling low and if you are the sensitive kind (depressed people often are), then it would have been hard to stand up to her in the first place.

I suggest you rehearse a little phrase and have it ready for the nest time you see her and she says something to upset you.

Say something like My doctor has advised me not to work yet and he'll tell me when I can and I think he's right.

You see if you can begin to show her you're not going to take any more of this then she will give up.

I know you need to brave but it's this or continued aggravation from her. Get your husband to stick up for you too.

Good luck and get well soon. Depression is tough.

Answer 2

Yes I do and I know how you feel. I had given birth to my daughter 18 months ago and ONE week after giving birth she was telling me her granddaughter will look after my daughter so i can get a job - I politely told her where to go as I already have a job and I am on maternity leave - she had actually arranged all this with her g/daughter behind my back.
I try to handle her now from a very far distance

Answer 3

She may actually be trying to help you! Getting out of the house on a daily basis would probably help you to feel better! Maybe work part time to start, but to stay in a rut is not healthy at all! A trip to a Library would help you too! Good luck!

Answer 4

Hello, I've had numerous problems in the past with my in laws. Theres only one real way to solve the problem. You have to be completely open and direct when speaking to these people. For once you have to be the aggressive one. When you know your going to have to converse with her be ready , rehearse if that does it for you and give it to her plain and simple. Don't be ashamed or feel threatened. Bring it to her full throttle and let her know that this your life and you have a situation and for her to mind her own business and that it is not her place to be getting involved. Let her know you dont want her help and if she goes on with the excuses or buts, don't let her just dont let her finish off the convo let her have it , everything you got.

Answer 5

Tell her your life is your business and thats that! I know how your feeling. I am in a similer situation but its my Aunt being like that. I think people with out mental health issues think that you are making it up. I think you should maybe ignore her for now and if it gets too bad tell her, " look i've got depression and I know you don't understand this, but you aren't helping me get better and to get a job and move forward with my life. You are causing me to when im havig 5 steps forward to take ten steps back" something like that!

Answer 6

my mother in law is a cleaning freak, like she nevers stops cleaning and tidying. after giving birth to my son, we lived there for 15 months til we got a flat. those 15 months were hell. i was on edge constantly, she never says anything in front of you, the message just gets passed on via my partner or his dad. i lost count of the amount of times i cried my heart out because of her (and my partners dad) she was controlling about everything, you cant have your own opinion. i couldnt enjoy my son when he was a baby because she was always butting in with her old fashioned views (her last child was born 26 years ago!) and scoffing at anything i had to say about bringing up MY OWN child! for instance, they bought the car seat and when her last child was born 26 years ago, the hospital used to let you take the baby home in a moses basket, now it has to be a car seat, but she totally ignored us and wouldnt pick it up from the shop until right at the last minute. she refuses to acknowledge that things have changed in 26 years! also, my partners brothers girlfriend suffered from postnatal depression very badly but she scoffs at this too and dismisses it as rubbish. i suffer with depression and the one time i tried to tell her this she just carried on talking about something else! if i treat my sons partner like that (when hes older, hes only 21 months old!) i hope someone gives me a good hard slap. good luck!

Answer 7

The day my boyfriend brought me home to meet his mother she said, "Oh Bill, I wish you still dated Pam." (His high schoold girlfriend.)

When we got engaged she said, "I was really hoping you'd marry Lisa." (The girl he dated before me.)

At our rehearsal dinner she threw a pitcher of beer at my head, soaking me and screamed, "I don't want this wedding to happen! Somebody stop it!"

On our wedding day she cried the entire time and refused to be in any photographs.

When I got pregnant she said, "Do you think you can at least produce a son to carry on the family name?" (As if I had control!)

I could go on and on and on. Do I hate this miserable woman...absolutely! But I also know that her misery is her problem and not mine so I keep it in perspective and make a point to avoid her.

Answer 8

My Mom had problems with her mother in law and so did my grandmother it is like a vicious cycle and if you want to stop this cycle with your mother in law then just maybe spend some girl time or quality time with to ease her up. You just have to wait and remember your not alone.

Answer 9

Hi, just tell her to get on with her own life. She sounds like an interfering old boot to me. My mother in law is a bit dippy but harmless. Cheers

Answer 10

Maybe you need to speak to the person your going to treatment for and ask them if you could bring your M-I-Law with you and let them explain what your going thru. Then if this doesn't work tell her she needs to get her on life and let you live yours.