Rejection..hurt? how to deal with?

Question

i have this new cowoker..for two month, I have big time crush on her, so two month ago(when she has been in the job only two week), I asked her informaly to go out for a coffee after work, she said she has to go to see her friend.. since then we have been talking more and more and finally last night at boss house(party) i aksed her again,, she was very mean and refussed/rejected me.. so what i should do? it is very difficult to to go to workb/c i have to s see her each day and get hurt.. i cannot take her out of my mind, it is like everytime i see her, the wound became fresher and fresher..why life so unfair...
Please help me.. i am so depressed, , if i quite job,, i will not get recommendations and i cannot get another job as good as this one..Every time I SEE her i get hurt and so depressed and I cannot work... why life suck
i am new to the town,, so not many friends around,

Answer 1

Let me start by saying that you are not the first or the last person to be in such a situation like this with some one working the same place with you. Ask your self this question. What do you know really about this girl's past or present history ? It is a fatal mistake to think of every person we meet as not having met some one before we met them. In some cases those people we meet, or like or are madly in love with.

Could have been married, separated, divorced, or going through one as well as having kids. Another case could have been just broke up or was dumped by a long time boyfriend and need her space to get over this before she is able to commit to some one else. The length of time needed to get over some one if such is the case depends on the person.

Don't take it too personally to the point that you get sick over her rejecting you at the house party. She may have a good reason or have been in a situation as i mention above or some other good reason that you don't know about. Unless you know the facts don't hate her or your self.

What you have to remember is this and never ever forget. When it comes to relationships never love some one more than your self as it is not easy to get over them when they break your heart.
None of us are perfect and do make mistakes and you need to remember this as well.

Even one of the world's Greatest Lover Casanova had woman trouble and was in a situation were he almost jump off some bridge over some woman that broke his heart.

What you can do is to learn from this experience and not give up your job over some woman. It will be hard to go to work every day to see her at first. Just keep going to work and eventually you will get over her rejection of you.

Remember that she is watching you to see how well you deal with her rejection so handle your self well. There may be a time you will have to talk to her concerning work related matters be diplomatic and don't let her get a hint of your anger of her rejecting you in the way you speak to her.

The next thing to deal with is the office gossip if the news is out of her rejecting you and being the subject of people having a good lauch at you. This is also the time you don't want your boss to see your work being affected by your rejection. This is also the time to examine the way things get in having a relationship with someone working the same place as you.

Women are good at picking up subtle things about a man, especially a change in your moods and things some of us try hard to hide from them. Don't let her see how hurt you are when talking to her about work related matters.

Some women also will reject you just to see how you deal with it as some of them were hurt before and that is one tool in their aresenal they use in testing potential mates in the future. You mention of life being unfair and you are wrong.

There are a lot of things we have to be thankful for and a lot of us don't know or take the time to thank God for those small miracles and blessings. One of them is being a live ! God some times send people in our lives and at the time we don't know why for us to gain ineptitude and then take them away. It is natural to get depress and can't work and one of the reason is that you fell head over heels for this girl and right now you have a difficult time balancing your self. You are feeling like an aircraft spiraling down wards to earth and can't level or take back control of yourself.

I hope in the future to see more questions posted by you to any one of us !

Answer 2

Ouch man, you got it bad...I am going through the same kind of thing..you see I go to a Catholic School so there is no way I can avoid him. Him and I weren't really that close but then we hung out all the time and he liked me but I didn't liek him fully but if he would've asked I would've said yes. So, now he likes all my friends that are all a grade above us and I wish that I could've turned the charm on so he would've asked me then. But what we have to do is get ours minds off of these people and it takes a long time because he stopped liking me a few months ago but I still can't get him out of my head. And since you are new to this town it would be even harder for you! Try makign new friends, maybe friends that are girls so that you can see that you have more options..all and all I hope everything turns out okay...

Answer 3

sigh, im going thru the same thing. we go to the same college. theres this dread that i may run into her. i even saw her flirt with another guy. and she said hi to me with a smile as i walked past them. well, what ive been trying to do is go out. im joining yoga and dance lessons. yeah, it hurts but the only way is to move forward...go to the movies, hit the gym, join a community service...use your pain as a force to make you better...