I have been hanging with this guy for about 2 months. He has sent me an IM for all the holidays that have come since November. I will admit it may be a little bit of a defense mechanism, but I look at friends with benefits exactly how a guy look at friends with benefits. He sent me an IM out of the blue to ask me how was my weekend. He also told me what he was doing at the moment, & he wanted to know if I was ok. It has never crossed my mind to ask him these things. He is a nice guy, he’s really respectful, and he is good looking, but still it has never crossed my mind to look at him other then friends with benefits to a point where I cut the IM short because I did not want to come across as though I was trying to converse with him. I did not realize that I cut it off until he signed off, but can a guy be interested in a young who started
out as friends with benefits, and if so how if we don't know anything at all about each other because we have never taken the time to do so.
2007-01-07 08:40:43 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
For all the people who read this and say how can a women be ok with being friends with benefits don’t put your beliefs on me. Just because it would not work for you or you would never be interested in it fine, but I am so life goes on.
2007-01-07 08:41:25 · update #1
honey in your additional details it sound to like you are satisfied wit what you and your friend with benefits has so who am I to bust your bubble I think that you are one of those women that think it's fine to do those things with your friend the only thing I can say to you is don't let him hurt your heart and also don't you hurt your heart. I have a hole different relationship with my friend and I love him dearly,but the benefit goes to my man only. Good Luck 2 u and yur friend wit/benefits.
2007-01-07 08:53:46 · answer #1 · answered by heavenlli_61 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, a lot of women seek friends with benefits at one time or another. That happened to me last year, I had this acquaintance(I wouldn't even call him a friend because I didn't know him that well) but to me he was just funny and to me harmless. He was also different from other guys that I dated that didn't turn out well. Once we went on a trip to this museum up in LA and in the elevator, he just said straight out, "I'm going to kiss you." and he did. Of course I thought it was so romantic and out-of-the-blue, but later I knew that he, like most friends-with-benefits, just wanted to fool around; he was kissing several other girls. I realized that friends-with-benefits wasn't even close to real relationships. So keep that in mind. There's always that one person that wants to make it a relationship and then the one that has no intention of doing so. If he's asking how you are and is really really wanting to know how YOU feel, it's 50/50; see how your feelings go and take a chance if you believe that the real relationship will really work. Good luck.
2007-01-07 16:48:29 · answer #2 · answered by The Small Elephant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes!
Every girl I've ever been involved with started out as friends, not so much with the benefits part but friends never the less. My ex girlfriend was half my age. I know what you might be thinking but I didn't approach her, she was the one that got the ball rolling. I even told her that if she could stay with me for two years, I'd marry her. She lasted 22 months but that's another story.
Some people are OK with being friends with benefits (I am now) but with me, those benefits are the start of love and some can't go that far.
2007-01-07 16:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way this will work is if both people involved are totally emotionally dead and just want a piece of meat to play with. But some of us actually have feelings, and when you have this one person might start to develop more. It is kinda hard to tell someone that you are just using them for sex and have them accept that long term. Sometimes it is the woman that gets this, sometimes the guy, but seriously if you are having sex how can you have no emotion at all...that must be some sad intercourse...none for me thanks!
2007-01-07 16:45:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably does not have interest beyond FWB either so do not worry about it.
Most dudes in this situation try to be nice and sweet to the girl they are getting the "no strings attached sex" with just to keep her happy and keep her available.
He is just being cool and nice to make sure you still want to sleep with him.
He is not falling for you, do not worry.
Have Fun.
2007-01-07 16:52:09 · answer #5 · answered by ♥~Gemma~♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound like friends with benefits, you sound like casual encounters. It seems like the guy is trying to be friends. The guy expects you to act like a person. If all you wanted was sex, then you should have paid him so there was no misunderstanding.
2007-01-07 16:46:15 · answer #6 · answered by limendoz 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's a really novel thought. Friends with benefits who might have a connection? Naw, it can't work.
2007-01-07 20:25:22 · answer #7 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to take this relationship to the next level? Try being honest with him about it. The worst thing that can happen is nothing, right?
2007-01-07 16:49:15 · answer #8 · answered by Some D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that you don't want to be in the relationship at this time and ask him if it's kool that yall still be friends with benefits. if he don't want that then get a "new" friend with benefits.
2007-01-07 16:43:54 · answer #9 · answered by Michell L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah friends with benifits work out sometimes. My wife and I were exactly that- now we have 2 teenage brats and love eachother more and more each day.....
2007-01-07 16:43:59 · answer #10 · answered by justin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋