I met this guy in college.We have been talking online and in person ever since the first week of school.On the first night we ever talked, he asked me out.I turned him down saying that I didn't even know who he was really, which was true.He has since asked me out 2 other times.Both times w/ rejections b/c I was not sure I wanted to be in a relationship.Since then, we have both gotten and broken up w/ other people, but still have been drawn back to each other.It's crazy, but the more I talk to him, the more into him I become.The only thing is, I know my family will never approve.He's got long stringy black hair, tattoos, & a tounge ring.He's from Chicago & has a cocky attitude due to his parents' money and what he buys w/ it.He also drinks and smokes extensively.He comes off as someone who is unapproachable,but to me he's completely different.He's such a sweetheart.How do I get my family to see him the way I see him, and not only what's on the outside before I turn this into something??
2007-01-07 08:29:51 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Encourage them to get to know him. But, you can't force anyone to have an opinion, so they may not see him as you do. It also is a bit concerning that he as you say "has a cocky attitude and drinks and smokes excessively." Those aren't really great qualities, so make sure that you aren't also trying to convince yourself that he's a better catch than he really is. Good luck and take care of yourself.
2007-01-07 08:33:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, ask yourself one question. How would you feel if he judged you. I have many friends my parents didn't approve of when we were in high school and such. Now they are some of the best people I have ever known. Just because someone acts and dresses and looks another way doesn't mean that you should label them to they are that way.
I have a great friend and he is what many people consider "goth" and when I introduced him to my family they were all very judgemental about him. Now it's been a while since I have known him and my parents and my family and everyone else he meets loves him so much. He is a very caring person and from time to time I am reminded of this.
Also, believe me, time changes everything. This person may just need time to find out who he really is. Maybe by you being an influence in his life will bring it out.
And believe me this happens all the time. My boyfriend is the son of a doctor a really clean cut family. I have a tattoo and a couple of piercings. My friend was the one who showed me that I am not just the girl from the wrong side of the tracks. I am the love of my boyfiends life. If we would have let people judge us I wouldn't be happlily in love.
2007-01-07 08:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by Farmgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, what must be addressed first is... who is planning on dating this young man? You... or your family? I hope it is just you as that will be easier to approach. Your parents will not have a say in how he carries or presents himself... but until they meet him that won't matter anyways. You like him and that should be enough. The best way to counter this when the time comes is to ask him to make himself presentable when h meets your parents. He shouldn't have to change anything... and you shouldn't have try to get him too. If you are into him... spring for it. The guy may seem cold to everyone else but the fact that he is really nice to you says something... and that something is something you'll never find out unless you act.
Good luck
(and by the way... we naturally judge the book by its cover... it is as you get to see its contents that you begin to see if your judgement was wrong or right)
2007-01-07 08:36:33 · answer #3 · answered by Whatev' Yo' 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you are not really looking at the whole picture. You must NOT only look at how a man treats you, but how he treats other people, including his own family. A person's true colors show through when they must deal with everyone. Right now, he wants you, so he is going to show kindness towards you, compassion, love, (this sweetheart nature that you see) What's really inside is how he treats everyone
My pastor says "You want to know how a man treats a woman? Then watch how he treats his wife and sisters. That is how he will treat all women in his life after spending a few years with her."
Best wishes!
2007-01-07 08:39:13 · answer #4 · answered by †♥mslamom♥† 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try by asking your family to give him a chance. Talk to them about how he's so important and such a 'sweetheart' to you. If maybe he cracks a joke or makes good conversation with your family. Then maybe they can see the good in him. The other side, the man behind the tongue ring and tatoos.
2007-01-07 08:42:44 · answer #5 · answered by Angel_luva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are asking how to keep from judging him, but if you like him, don't worry about the cover. Should you decide to date him and develop a relationship, then cross then worry about him meeting the parents. But do not stress about something that might never happen. And if he is good enough to get that far in your life, then I think your parents will like him too. They want whats best for you, no matter what the package looks like.
2007-01-07 08:35:44 · answer #6 · answered by sumarhwyatt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kinda talk about him in convo with ya parents but say stuff that makes him sound way nice but throw in a couple of stories how people always jugde him for the way he looks and you feel so sorry for him cause he's such a great guy. your going to have to get your parents to really like him but slip in that he looks difffrent so when they meet him they give him a minute
2007-01-07 08:35:38 · answer #7 · answered by k_princess84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is so easy, simply tell your parents he's going to die soon and you are only in it for the money.
That attitude sounds like it would make your parents proud.
I am sorry girl, but if your own family can not see past the cover, then fcuk em.
2007-01-07 08:39:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is clean and treats your family with respect, they shouldn't have a problem accepting him. HOWEVER, if he is cocky in front of them and acts in a disrespectful way, he is demonstrating how important your relationship is to him. If he really is a "Sweetheart", don't let your family begrudge you a future with him because they are too closed-minded to see what he is for his heart and not his physical appearance.
2007-01-07 08:36:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mothers and fathers sound like mine, i think of your mothers and fathers whant what right for you thats all. They dont want a below the impact of alcohol or any factor like that. i think of in case you talk over with them approximately how advantageous he's and stuff they are going to study to love him and deal along with your emotions.
2016-12-12 06:19:36 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋