funny jokes for your day?

Question

heres another one-so a lady gets pregnant and the doctor asked her what shes going to name the baby so she tells him-the black mother ****** from down the block that will kick yo azz from street to street so later in the futrue on his first day of school the teacher sked him what his name was so he says the black mother ****** from down the black that will kick yo *** from street to street all of the kids are laughing so she sends him to the office the principle asked what the problem so he said all i did was tell her my name so the priciple asked what is it so he said im the black mother ****** from down the block that will kick your *** from strreet to street so the principle got mad and suspended him on his way a one eyed bum with a gun asked him whats yo name boy so he said the black mother ****** from down the block that will kick yo *** from streeet to street so the one eyed bum shot him so when the boy went to heaven he man at the gate asked him his name so he said it so then

0 seconds ago
he got sent to hell so then the devil asked him his name so he said the black mother ****** from down below that will burn yo *** from head to toe

Additional Details

14 minutes ago
Funny jokes to make you laugh?
A kindergarten teacher says, "Today class I am going to give you a letter of the alphabet and I want you to give me a word that begins with that letter." She begins with "A" and all the kids raise their hands. There is one kid in the back named Johnny that is real eager to answer the question, but the teacher knows that he is always vulgar and likes to use obscenities so she chooses on little Mary to answer. Mary stands and says, "A...Apple" The teacher replies, "Mary, good job." So she moves on to the letter "B", and again Johnny is still eager to answer the question, but the teacher is sure that he will probably say "*****" or something like that so she calls on Todd. Todd says, "B...Baseball." And the teacher replies, "Good Job, Todd." So they start going through the alphabet and the class' attention dwindles, except for Johnny. The teacher comes to the letter "R" and no one, except for Johnny, is raising their hand so she is forced to call on him.

14 minutes ago
R...Rat" Johnny replies. "Rat, ...that's it...rat?" the teacher questions with astonishment. "Yeah," says Johnny, "Big-*** mother-******' rat with a dick 12 inches long

13 minutes ago
this ones called
Last Request



A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said,
"Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die, you will
have my remains cremated."

"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with
your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail
them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope,
'Now, you have everything.'"

11 minutes ago
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree
begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, Is that a son
of a beech or a son of a birch?
The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is
a son of a beech or a son of a birch?
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, It is neither a
son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash
I have ever put my pecker in.

9 minutes ago
This big, nasty, sweaty woman wearing a sleeveless sundress walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big, hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?" The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her.
At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender! I want to buy that ballerina a drink!" The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit, saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender! I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!" After serving the lady her second drink,

8 minutes ago
the bartender approaches the little drunk and says, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"
The drunk replies, "Sir! In my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"

7 minutes ago
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."

She's not there 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars." He says, "All I got is thirty". She says, "Hold on," and runs back to Harry and asks, "What can he get for thirty?" "A hand job".

She runs back and tells the guy all the gets for thirty is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE penis. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back to Harry, and asks, "Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?"

6 minutes ago
A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself.

A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists.

"What are you doing." they ask her.

So she replies "Hanging myself."

The men are confused and asked "If you are hanging youself, you put the rope around your neck."

The blond says "Duh....I tried that, I couldn't breath."

2 minutes ago
there is this boyfriend and girlfriend..
bf: "hon, let's do 69!"
gf: "what is 69?"
bf: "it's easy.."

then they positioned theirselves..
while in that position, the boy farted 4 times..

then the girl reacted and said "omg! i cant do this anymore! i cant take anymore the remaining 65!"

1 second ago
Poppa mole and Momma mole and Baby mole are all going up the mole hole when Poppa mole stops short. What were Momma mole and Baby mole doing?

17 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer. - 4 answers - Report Abuse
You can't answer your own question.

so they replied smelling moleasses

you should make like brittny spears legs and split

Answer 1

THOSE ALL ARE FUNNY

Answer 2

thats a good funny tale :P i have been given one a guy with a bald head and a timber leg has been invited to a dressing up social gathering. He doesn't comprehend what dress to positioned on to conceal his head and his leg so he writes to a dressing up company to describe his project. some days later he receives a parcel with a be conscious. "expensive Sir, please locate enclosed a pirate's outfit. The said handkerchief will conceal your bald head consisting of your timber leg you'd be maximum ideal as a pirate." the guy thinks it really is a nasty theory because they have basically emphasized his timber leg, so he writes a very rude letter of grievance. a week passes and he receives yet another parcel with a be conscious. "expensive Sir, sorry about our previous advice. Please locate enclosed a monk's habit. The lengthy gown will conceal your timber leg, and consisting of your bald head you'll extremely seem the section." Now the guy is amazingly annoyed on account that they have lengthy gone from emphasising his timber leg to his bald head, so he writes an extremely rude letter of grievance. the subsequent day he receives a small parcel with a be conscious interior. "expensive Sir, please locate enclosed a tin of golden syrup. Pour the tin of golden syrup over your bald head, stick your timber leg up your ar@e and go as a toffee apple

Answer 3

I love the one about the trees!

Answer 4

Too long but interesting!

Answer 5

Lol! That was funny dude!

Answer 6

i only read the first one its funny though

Answer 7

it is very long but there are some funny jokes in there

Answer 8

i like the blonde one, but they are so funny!

Answer 9

umm im not taking the time to read this....i have a life

Answer 10

horribly not funny